


Cor The Immortal (FFXV AU)

by Xx_Nyx_xX



Category: Final Fantasy XV, Final Fantasy XV (AU)
Genre: F/M, Frustration, Rejection, Sex, Violence, complicated relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-10-28 01:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20770211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Nyx_xX/pseuds/Xx_Nyx_xX
Summary: Cor Leonis is the shield of King Regis eldest child; princess Aeterna Lucis Caelum. They've spent almost their whole life with each other and soon inappropriate feelings started to grow or have they always been there? This is about a complicated love-story between a bodyguard and his protégé.





	1. Stolen

**Author's Note:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

Cold nights and the warming rising sun covered the fields of grass in sparkling morning dew. Boots stomping heavily onto the soggy ground. Rattling metal of light armor and belts audible when I was running. I had to be faster. I tried to keep my breath calm, feeling its warmth against the thick fabric of my cape pulled up over my nose. Rays of light fluttering on my face, blazing their way through the trees. I took the short way through the woods; moist grass replaced by dry dead leafs. I was too loud. Fingerless long gloves covered the arm that reached behind, pulling the coat aside to have access to a pocket attached to my belt. Got it. My covering. My only chance to stay incognito and move freely. My mask. The golden metallic skull had been put onto my face. Fingers hooked into the carvings and pushing specific spots to activate a mechanism. A fixture snapped close on the base of my nose, hooks wrapping themselves around my ears. Fixed. The same hand moved back, pulling the hood over my head. I had to make sure no one would recognize me.

I was on a hunt, trying to move up in ranks. This was a three star job. It took me a while until I was allowed to accept higher ranked Quests. I also hadn’t been the only one who was on the hunt. On one side, we had the hunters who were doing it for the rewards and on the other, we had the Crownsguards, doing it for the safety of the people. As for me, I did it for my own reasons. I’ve been trained in combat and magic, but within the protective walls of the castle, I would never be able to gain any experience on the battlefield. I wanted to test my skills, find out how far I could push myself and prove my bravery to my father one day.

The ground was shaking at the loud growl of the beast; Behemoth. I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins; hackles rising in excitement. At the edge of a rock, I came to a stop. I looked down at the area beneath me and spotted two royal guards. I clicked my tongue, as I had been too late. No. I needed this kill and they might be a useful distraction for the giant monster. Leaping down the small ravine, I rolled off my shoulder to reduce the impact on the ground. My weapon of choice, a Katana, had been manifested in my hand and my eyes moved up to the huge head of Behemoth. Its glowing eyes fell on me and a gigantic claw was already about to crush my body into the ground. I started to run, dropping onto my knees and sliding on the metallic protectors, which emitted sparks on the stony terrain. Back up on my feet, I ran towards the tail of the beast but before I could reach it, the giant turned it away from me. My attention moved back to its head and noticed that something else caught its attention, its hues directed to the top. A shadow appeared and the sunlight had been reflected in a blade that resembled mine before it pierced into the muscular flesh in Behemoth’s shoulder. Now I could see the combatant. My trainer, mentor and shield: Marshal Cor Leonis. This couldn’t have been worse as he was one of the less people who were aware of my sneak outs. Now, I was in trouble and I was seriously considering to be killed by the Behemoth since it would be the lighter penalty.

My focus laid on the battle again and I refused to use my magic, thinking it would be cheating on the other hunters. The gaping muzzle revealed huge canine and Behemoth’s head moved down when he snatched at Cor. My chance. A hand grabbed one of the horns, swinging myself up onto its head. With a quick snap of my wrist, a hidden blade slid out of my glove and I hit it into the flesh of the beast. As expected, the cranium jerked up when it reared and I could keep myself at position. I knew it was angry, but as soon as my eyes met Cor’s, I found someone who was more furious. The paws of Behemoth hit the ground and its movements became unpredictable. It tried to shake me off, claws moving up to its head, but it couldn’t reach me behind the horns. I held still, noticing that it calmed down a bit, snorting in exhaustion. The short blade had been pulled out of the skull by hiding it in my glove again, wielding my Katana now. I ran down the wrinkles of its nose, one of the yellow orbs spotting me and I turned on my heel, letting the blade dive into the eye of the beast. Feet pushed themselves off the head, turning in the air to not be hit by the gigantic claw that reached up for the wounded face. Feet hit the ground and another paw was striking out to hit me out of the way. I jumped out of the way, underneath the beast and turned midway to see that Behemoth caught another victim. Cor had been thrown against the rocks and his body fell onto the hard ground, his hand reaching for his shoulder. I could only assume that he tried to do what he was supposed to do on first place: protecting me. On one hand, I felt bad that it was my fault for him to receive a heavy punch, but on the other, I was disappointed that he underestimated me. Behemoth was distracted and I had to make a choice, helping Cor or use my chance to finish the creature. I cussed under my breath when I ran towards my shield, standing above him before hunkering down. My hand reached under the armor of his shoulder, seeing blood on my fingers when pulling them back to me. I quickly grabbed the pendant on the necklace hidden under my cape, tugging it off. It held a small vial with a green substance, a highly concentrated health potion. He immediately grabbed my hand and pushed it away from him, glaring up at me. Behemoth would be ready for another attack soon and I didn’t have the time to argue with him. My free hand reached for his collar, knees leaning against his chest so my legs would protect me from any of his attempts to push me away. I put the vial between my teeth and broke off the cap, throwing it away. The now free hand took a hold of his jaw to tilt his head back, my lips pressing against his so I could push the opening of the phial between them and pour the healing potion into his mouth. They called it the kiss of life, usually used when trying to heal an unconscious comrade but in my case, I had to use it on a stubborn man who refused to let me help. I moved up and spit the vial onto the ground, turning my gaze back to Behemoth.

“Aeterna!”

Good, Cor was fine and yelled my name as if we’d be at the palace. Why do I even bother to hide my identity? I sped up, throwing my Katana into the side of Behemoth’s neck, warping myself to the spot to push my blade down with the help of my weight. Blood splattered out of the open flesh, forcing me to quickly pull my sword out and avoid any of it to stain my clothes. If I’d be lucky, Cor wouldn’t betray that he had seen me, but with blood all over me, there was no explanation that I could give my parents.

The head of the beast moved up, a painful loud growl escaped its gaping mouth when limbs were shaking. The muscular body collapsed onto the ground and curious eyes tried to find the reason for its death, seeing Cor standing on the skull. His Katana had been pushed at full length into the center of its forehead. I was screaming inside. He stole my kill. Arms had been lifted, just to fall to my sides again, revealing my disappointment about the whole situation.

Cor pulled his sword out of the dead body, letting it disappear in the sheath attached to his side. My frustration turned quickly to uneasiness when I watched him jump down and heading straight towards me. I thought about running away, but this would just buy me some time, not sparing me from a lecture. My sword vanished into thin air and his hand grabbed my arm, turning me towards the path where the other guards were waiting for him.

“For the love of gods, could you stay out of trouble for one time? I’ll arrange a car to take you home”

His voice pushed through gritted teeth and he didn’t spend any view on me. His eyebrows twitching already and I tried to pull my arm out of his grip but it became just tighter, painful already. We reached the SUV that was standing nearby and the door had been opened for me. Cor pushed me inside and slammed the door close, sitting down on the passenger’s seat when entering the car as well. I leaned back, my arms crossed on my chest. I hated him for treating me like a child. If he wanted me to behave like one, I could, even now feeling the urge to kick against the back of his seat to get rid of my frustration.

Cor was only eight years older than me, but behaved as if the difference would be much bigger. I remember when I was a kid, I was so happy to see another child in the palace. Back then, I hoped I would find a friend I could play with, but he was rather serious and any attempt to make him laugh seemed useless. Still, he spent time with me and always made sure I’d be safe. I always had a crush on him, especially at a time where he was the only boy at my age. Now, as an adult, I wasn’t sure how to feel about Cor. He was confusing and drove me mad, but he was also the only one who could calm me down or, like my mother used to say, the only one who was able to tame me. Of course only if he wasn’t pissed.

We reached an old warehouse, which had been rebuilt into offices and a meeting spot for the hunters. I have been here with my father before, at a time where he hadn’t been a king and spend more time with me. The door had been opened for me again when the car stopped and I ignored Cor’s hand, able to walk by myself. I followed him inside, behind me both guards. Cor led us into the main office. A large wooden table stood in the middle, flyers and maps spread on it. It was early in the morning and no one was there. I assumed the hunters were on their missions. I envied them.

The marshal stopped at the table and I stood beside him, keeping a healthy distance between us. The guards positioned themselves on the other side, looking at Cor and waiting for any instructions.

“One of you will drive the princess to the palace. I’ll let you decide who wants to do it. Just make sure to bring her home safely.”

“They don’t have to. I can do it on my own”

I finally found the courage to speak to him and light blue eyes slowly rolling to the side to look at me. His sigh already betraying that he didn’t want to listen to what I had to say since he wouldn’t believe me anyways. He crossed his arms on his chest, his shoulder seeming broader than usual.

“So, you want to tell me that if I let you go on your own that you will head straight home? Forget about that. How did you come here anyways?”

“My bike”

“**Your** bike? Where is it?”

“Behind Cid’s workshop”

“Does he even know that it’s standing there? Did he see you?”

“No?”

The tone in his voice made me keep my answers short. I hated when he spoke like this to me when others were around. Swallowing everything I wanted to say down, I knew that I couldn’t keep it that way any longer. Looking up at him I felt how my eyes narrowed, trying to signalize him to let me be.

“It wouldn’t hurt you to listen to me once”

“It wouldn’t hurt **you **to say thanks”

“For what?”

“Let’s call it shoulder treatment”

The last one rolled over my lips in a rather teasing manner, provoking the elder unintentionally, especially when one of the guards let out a silent chuckle. They stood straight after receiving a glare from the marshal.

“Leave. I’ll send her out in a minute”

He didn’t have to say it twice. They bowed their heads and walked out of the door. I wished I could just leave as well. Arms crossed on my chest as well, I looked up at him, waiting to be yelled at already.

“Explain yourself. Why do I have to find out that you’re still out here alone?”

“I’m not one of your soldiers, Cor. I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

I felt the urge to cover my mouth with my hand to stop me from speaking, seeing his eyebrow twitching in nuisance. My hand moved to my mask and the locks snapped open, so I could pull it off my face.

“I am responsible for you and if anything happens to you, I am the one who will be blamed. I am also not willing to let anything happen to you. Can’t you follow the simplest request?”

Eyes rolled at his words. I took my time to unbuckle the belt of my cape and took it off from around shoulders and head, placing it onto the table.

“I wouldn’t have to be alone outside, if you would take me with you”

“You know I cannot do that”

“Why, Cor? Tell me. I receive the same training as the others, but I am treated like a fucking porcelain doll that will break with the next breath of the wind”

Words directed up to him while I made a step closer to him. Cor leaned forward, making me feel even smaller than I was, compared to him.

“Because you’re the Princess of Lucis and a Princess shouldn’t run around and hunt beasts or demons. She should take her responsibilities seriously and support her father to reign over his Kingdom”

“Thank you, for not only making me feel like a child, but also for feeling worthless because of the wrong royal title. If I’d be a prince, we wouldn’t be having this conversation”

I grabbed my stuff and turned my back on him, just wanting to finally be brought home. This discussion would lead to nothing but us just annoying each other.

“Would you come back here? I am not done yet”

“But I am done with you for now”

Cor caught me off guard when his hand closed around my arm again, turning me around with a quick firm tug. Another push was given to me and my back knocked against one of the pillars, making me drop what I had in hand. I was trapped between the post and the man who was pointing with a warning finger at me. I had to push myself up, standing on my tiptoes to soften his grip on my arm. He skillfully held me at the exact same spot as before.

“Don’t mess with me, Aeterna. I’m doing my best to fulfill my duties, but you’re making it really hard for me”

His breath brushed along the skin of my cheek and I just realized how close he was. I was forced to look up to let my eyes meet his icy hues. Cor lowered his hand and I felt warm fingertips against the bare skin of my thigh, my leg sticking out of the open slid of my coat. My face flushed and a shiver crawled up my spine at the sudden sensation caused by a simple touch. Did he even notice?

“Don’t tell me about giving you a hard life. You’re endorsing my life in a cage.”

“This is not my decision to make.”

Just Cor’s voice made my heart beat faster. Why did I feel so attracted to him right now? It didn’t feel wrong, like a hidden desire that came to the surface. My head tilted back, lips lightly parted when closed to his.

“Are you even able to make your own?”

Words escaped my mouth without having any control over them. Anger had been replaced by confusion, maybe even surprise but the look in his eyes changed. My hand reached for his, my leg lightly moving up until his palm was fully on the skin of my thigh, feeling the fabric of his pants against the inner side. 

“I…wait…what do you~”

Cor fell silent. His hand releasing my arm from its tight grip, allowing me to reach for the collar of his jacket and pull him down. 

My lips caught his in a kiss that was hesitantly returned by him, but soon a deep breath got pushed through his nostrils and he became the leading part in a passionate make out. Fingers pushed lightly against the skin on my thigh, dancing up higher until disappearing under my coat. A hand moved the other side of my coat out of the way before finding its place in the line under my butt. Cor lifted me up, my legs immediately opening to welcome him between them before tightening around his hips again. I moved my head to the side, gasping for air. His lips didn’t leave my skin, continuing to bless my neck with hungry caresses. Bend arms rested on his shoulders and fingers roamed through short brown hair. His lower lip brushed along my jaw, searching for my lips to continue where we stopped.

One of my hands moved down his chest, feeling the curves of his muscles through his shirt, nails wanting to rip it off but continued their way down instead. Slender digits hooked into the rim of his pants, unbuttoning them with a quick move, the zipper opened by a firm tug. Cor moved away from the pillar I leaned on, turning around and held me up with one hand the other removed the notes from the table. He laid me down on it, his upper body leaning over mine while skilled fingers pulled my panties down my legs. Kisses became rough and I wasn’t able to look down anymore, but I felt that the coldness between my legs had been replaced by the warmth of his naked skin. His hand slipped under my arched back, yanking me down until I felt the wet tip of his erection against my entrance. I moved my head down, seeing his hand still between us when I broke the kiss.

“Cor…I…”

His tongue licked along a sensitive spot under my ear and before I could end my sentence, he pushed himself into me. A painful whine rolled over my swollen lips. He pushed me against him, breathing heavily into my ear while my nails dug into the skin on the back of his neck. A hiss tickled my wet skin and his slow movements made me bite my lip, feeling a sharp pain when he forced himself into my tightness. My body jerked up, when he sped up, thrust becoming almost violently hard. Hands found their place on each side of me, pushing myself up against them. The movement of his hips became slower when he could see that I had a hard time to get used to him, but a sensual kiss made me forget about it. He groaned into my mouth, his body shaking when he quickened up his pace again. I could feel his pulse against a delicate spot, making me reply in silent moans. My hand moved quickly to the back of his neck, pulling myself up against him while kissing him breathlessly. The upcoming heat that rose inside of me, made me want to crawl into him. Just a few more thrusts and I was lost, eyes rolling to the back of my head. High pitched whines pushed through my nose before he came as well, making the pleasure last for a bit longer.

The kiss broke and he panted heavily. My teeth brushed along my lower lip, biting the hot flesh while keeping my eyes on his gorgeous face. When his eyes looked into mine and a lascivious smirk tugged on the side of his lips, I knew that the crush I had on him, never really ended. I’ve been fallen for him.

I received a quick kiss when he helped me up. My knees were lightly shaking when I stood on my feet, trying to hide the fact that I felt sore. Cor had his pants up already and just when I turned to him, a knock on the door could be heard. I grabbed my stuff from the ground and as soon as Cor spoke out a “Come in”, the door went open. The draft whirled up the notes that were spread on the ground, but to my luck one of them landed on my underwear that was still on the ground. I stepped on it and tried to flash an innocent smile at the guard that came in.

“I’m sorry Marshal. Just wanted to know if the Princess is ready”

I could see Cor nod in the corner of my eye and I cleared my throat, trying to drag his attention to me. When he was finally looking at me I pointed at my foot with my eyes, lifting my brows lightly. I hoped he would understand, but since he nodded I expected he would. The marshal bowed his head, the expression on his face as serious as usual.

“I’ll see you in the palace”

I saluted and walked towards the guard who was waiting for me.

“There’s no way around it”

My response amused the guard, but the chuckle got held back until he closed the door behind us. I let a smile tug on my lips and let him open the car door for me, before sitting down in the back and let him drive me back home.

When we reached the end of the stairs that led up to the main entrance, I could almost feel the trouble that was waiting for me inside. I let out a deep sigh before exiting the car and walking up the endless seeming steps. Guards opened the door and I tried to be as silent as possible, just wanting to head into my room and change my clothes before my father would see me. Almost around the corner, I heard him clear his throat already.

“Where have you been?”

The kings voice echoed dangerously against the walls of the main hall, making me turn around slowly. I bowed my head as deep as I could and his steps became louder, his cane sounding as if they would smash the marble floor with every hit.

“Forgive me, father. I’ve been outside to catch some air, but I haven’t been seen by anyone”

The mask was hidden in my cape, not wanting him to know about that, even though I could imagine that he was able to see through it. I lifted my head and looked into the face of disappointment. I wished he wouldn’t punish me with that expression, but I guess, in his eyes, I didn’t deserve better.

“Your mother is asking for you for hours and I, as your father, didn’t know where you were. What do you think, should I tell her? That her daughter prefers to stray around through the streets instead of visiting her sick mother? Go and change into something suitable. I can’t believe that you’re willing to tarnish our name just like that”

His words felt as if spit into my face. I felt the urge to apologize for being such a disappointment for him, but I didn’t dare to answer back. My head had been bowed and I walked off to escape into my room. I took a quick shower and hid my mask in the drawer of my nightstand, slipping into one of my black dresses to head straight to the master bedroom of my parents. I knocked on the door and heard the tired voice of my mother calling me in. Inside I closed the door as silent as I could and saw that my little brother was climbing off the bed, one of his nanny’s unable to stop him from running towards me.

“Aetaaah”

Chubby cheeks bounced at every step and I hunkered down to welcome him in my arms. I smothered his cute face with a bunch of kisses, lifting him up onto my hip. Tiny fingers played with the lace that covered my collarbones, lips pouted when he spoke

“Whe’ ’ve you been?”

Tiny dark eyebrows moved up, but his gaze laid on the fabric he was picking.

“That’s a question, I’d like to have answer to as well, my dear daughter”

I let a soft smile appear on my lips when I reached the bed of my mother, who pushed herself up a bit. She held her cheek towards me and I placed a gentle kiss on it before sitting down on the edge of the bed, Noctis making himself comfortable in my lap. Looking at her face, she looked worse than ever and it made me feel bad that I kept her waiting. There was nothing I could tell her that would excuse my selfish behavior.

“I’m sorry, mother. I’ve been awake early and I decided to go outside for bit. I lost track of time and…”

Her hand moved to my arm, a warm smile laying on her lips when she looked at me. She made me feel like I didn’t have to hide anything from her and I also didn’t plan to lie.

“You’ve been on a hunt again, hm? What was it this time?”

I felt how a childlike excitement rose inside of me and the smile on my face growing into a mix of relief and happiness about her reaction. My thoughts stumbled over each other in my head already.

“Oh mom, you won’t believe it. A three star quest to hunt down a Behemoth. It was so incredibly gigantic. Just a paw of it able to crush a car by just stepping onto it. Canines bigger than the trees in our gardens and eyes glistening with danger. I’ve never seen a beast as big as this before. And when it growled, the whole ground was shaking”

“Roaaar”

We chuckled when Nocti’s was imitating a dangerous growl, his face lit up in a proud grin.

“Did you hunt it down? I see that you’ve used your potion as well?”

I looked down and saw that I was still having the chain around my neck. Pulling Noctis closer into my arms and leaning my chin onto his head. My lips pouted when I had to tell her the bad news about my success with the hunt for Behemoth.

“Sadly, this one’s not on me. I had to give my potion to, oh which surprise, Cor. He seems to pop up everywhere I am. I should have given him the potion after finishing the beast. Then I would be able to climb up a rank, but now…Cor the Immortal snitched my chance”

The queen laughed and held up a hand to hide a cough behind it. I tilted my head when she wasn’t able to stop. I reached for a glass of water on her nightstand and handed it to her, Noctis’ burying his face into my shoulder while hands held onto my arms. She calmed down a bit, holding the glass towards her servant that stood in the corner next to Nocto’s nanny. She cleared her throat and I was worried about her. No one told me what was wrong with her, but it seemed that whatever it was, it wasn’t getting better.

“How do you feel?”

My mother shook her head quickly, signalizing that she didn’t want to talk about that. I was sure that everyone was asking her the same questions over the whole day.

“Not better. Not worse. However, back to the potion you have to use on Cor. He really took it like this from you? And why did he need it anyways?”

I narrowed my eyes, asking her if she was serious about the question if he took the potion freely. She knew him almost better than I did.

“Of course I had to force him to take it. He didn’t even thank me, so you can imagine how happy he was about it. The superhero he’s always been, he wanted to save me but got slapped by that huge paw and thrown up into the air, injuring his shoulder. Couldn’t just let him lay there like a beetle on its back”

“And your father?”

A sigh fell from my lips and I laid back, feeling her legs on my back and Noctis making himself comfortable on me. I was pretty sure that this little cuteface was about to fall asleep already. My eyes caught the view of the canopy above us.

“The standard. How could you…why did you…He makes it impossible for me to show him what I am capable of. Trying to make him proud just ends in a disaster and I feel like only able to disappoint him more and more.”

Her slender fingers brushed through my hair and closed my eyes, enjoying her gentle touches. If I could find a cure for her disease, I would go to the end of the world for it. No matter how old you were, the love of parents was always needed and was the only thing that made you feel like home. She was my light while my father was making me feel like freezing in the shadows. I loved him, but this wasn’t the warm kind of love I felt for my mother.

“You should know that his reaction is normal for your father when he’s worrying. You’re his only daughter and he wants to protect you, or at least know you’re safe. He loves you. Please never forget that”

“Yeah, but he has a strange way to show that to me”

I opened my eyes and rolled my head to the side to look at her. She poked my nose with her finger and scrunched her own, making me laugh. Around her it didn’t feel bad to act like a child, since I was hers.

“Queen Aulea. The doctor is here for your treatment”

Holding Noctis close, I sat up and looked at her again. Eyes asked her if she wanted me to stay but she shook her head lightly, her hand patting mine that was placed on my brother’s back. My mother kissed my cheek this time and I stood up to leave the chamber, looking up at Clarus who held the door open for me. It felt as if he was waiting for me as he nodded towards the office of my father and I followed him. The Nanny ran up to me and asked if she should take Noctis, but I shook my head. If he decided to sleep on my arm, I would let him sleep there as long as he wanted to. I stepped into the office and saw Cor standing up from his chair immediately, bowing his head deeply to greet me. I answered with a quick nod, unable to do anything more. My eyes fell onto my father who was standing as well, his hands resting on the edge of his desk to support himself while standing. I could see that he took a quick glimpse of Noctis, but there was no reaction to the sleeping prince. Our eyes met and I could feel that he was struggling with the right words to say to me. I was still asking myself what this was all about.

“Aeterna, I have to apologize for my inappropriate reaction earlier. Cor informed me about the training session in the wilds.”

This was a poor apologize, but since it was based on a lie that Cor used to cover me, I accepted it with another nod. My eyes fell on the marshal whose face was set in stone. This wasn’t the first time he covered me after my sneak-out and I didn’t even know how to thank him anymore. I also had to confess that he didn’t have to lie for me at all. I’ve never asked him for it, but he always did. Clarus stepped beside me and bowed to my father.

“Your majesty, it’s time to join your spouse. The treatment has begun already”

I watched them both leave and I asked myself what kind of treatment this was, that my father never missed one. A soft push was given to my back so I would leave the office as well

“Come on. You have a meeting in a few minutes as well?”

“What meeting?”

I tried to look back at Cor, but he made it impossible for me to stop or look back.

“You’re taking care of the imperial economy today. Maritime trade. We have a few advisers here to help you answer the questions and demands of the salesmen. I assured your father, you would be happy to substitute for him”

Well, sometimes there was a price I had to pay when he covered me. This was one of them. I hated economics. Those meetings were long and incredibly boring.

We walked down the corridor and when a Nanny was already waiting to take Noctis from me, Cor had his hands already around the child’s body and handed it to the woman. He guided me into the crowded throne room which went silent when my entrance had been announced. I walked up the stairs that led to the throne of my father, turning slowly to let the end of my dress lay neatly on the ground when I sat down. The advisers found their place beside me, equipped with stamps and notepads. Cor stood just a few inches away from the throne, keeping an eye on the others. It didn’t even start and I felt exhausted already. A sigh fell from my lips when I lifted my left hand, signalizing that it may start. This would become a long day.


	2. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day has passed since "it" happened and the princess wants to talk to Cor about it. What is he thinking about it and what does it mean to him? Even though Aeterna knows Cor for so long, it is still hard to read how he feels...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)
> 
> P.S.: Call this chapter boring, but it was time that we’ll focus a bit on Baby-Nocto (on most part)

Several hours had just passed, but it felt like an eternity. I could watch the sun going down through the windows that surrounded the hall and the electrical light made it even harder to focus on the crowd. Their murmurs made me feel like trapped in a beehive. To my surprise, I sat in a straight position, not leaning back nor showing my displeasure to be here. I knew, if Noctis would grow up, he would be sitting on the throne and I will always stay the substitute, but looking at my father, I was worried about my little brother, not my heir.

The negotiations ended and I stood up, making short steps towards the head of the stairs before lifting my hands onto the level of my shoulders. Silence. Their eyes looked up at me and I placed one hand into the other, letting both of them rest on my stomach. Just like I’ve been taught.

“Shipping is the life blood of our economy. Without shipping, intercontinental trade, the bulk transport of raw materials and the import and export of affordable as well as manufactured goods would simply not be possible. Seaborne trade continues to expand, bringing benefits for consumers across Eos through competitive freight costs. Thanks to the growing efficiency of shipping as a mode of transport and increased economic liberalization, the prospects for the industry’s further growth continue to be strong.”

Applause. I guess my words were to their satisfaction. My hand moved out of the other, holding it up beside me until it would be taken by my shield to help me walk down the stairs. Fingers felt so small in his big palm as soon as the laid in it. My other hand grabbed the fabric of my skirt, pulling it up a bit so I wouldn’t step onto the dress. I knew Cor would never let this happen, but it would be embarrassing anyways. He let go of me as soon as we reached the last step, but just having him still close beside me, made me feel comfortable. I was able to black out everyone and everything around me, leaving the hall without feeling any kind of nervousness. We headed down the corridor and as soon as we walked around the corner, I felt like able to breathe properly again.

“You did well, Princess.”

I chuckled softly and hid my mouth behind the back of my hand.

“I just cited an old newspaper article I’ve read in economy class once. I am not into politics and unable to come up with something like this on my own.”

Watching him in the corner of my eye, there was no emotional reaction to it. Cor just nodded his head faintly. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that there was this unusual distance between us, as if nothing happened today. My steps became slower until stopping completely. He did the same, his hands on his back when he looked at me, a slender brow pushed up. I turned to the side, my eyes laying on his. I needed to know how he thought about today morning. What meaning it had for him.

“Cor, we had no chance to talk after…”

“Oh good, I found you. Your highness, the King and the young prince are waiting for you in the dining hall.”

And we wouldn’t have a chance right now as well as we were interrupted by one of the King’s servants. I nodded and followed her into the dining room where my father was sitting on the head of the table, behind him his shield, Clarus Amicitia. On the other end sat Noctis, alone in his highchair and staring at the empty table. He was tired and I felt bad that they had to wait for me, but if I wouldn’t be late, my father would. I bowed my head at the King and walked to the side of the table, Cor pulling the chair to the prince’s left side back until I would sit down. He moved a few steps back, standing at the same position to me like Clarus to my father.

Food had been served and I helped Noctis’ to hold his spoon properly before he would attack the mashed potatoes with it. Making sure that he wouldn’t create a big mess, I grabbed my fork and started to eat my meal. I’ve been starving and usually my focus laid on my brother, but, even though my father was sitting far away from us, I could see that he was just stabbing the meat on his plate, not really eating. The sound of my fork being placed onto my plate caused an awful loud sound in the silent room. I wiped my mouth with my napkin, clearing my throat before turning my head to my father.

“You haven’t touched your food yet. Why are….Nocto, no!”

I got distracted by Noctis’ using his hand to roam around on his plate. My hand grabbed his arm to pull it out of the food, using my napkin to clean sticky fingers before placing the spoon into his palm.

“Use your spoon, please”

A silent cry of protest could be heard, but I ignored it, looking back at my father whose tired eyes met mine. Today, his face seemed to be covered in wrinkles, making him appear much older than he was. He was worried, but I could also see that he didn’t want to talk about it. Clarus was looking down at him again. The same worry laying in his gaze as well.

“You have to eat something or are you feeling unwell?”

The tip of a dirty spoon appeared beside me and the strained gasps from Nocto became audible. When I looked at him, he was trying to push himself up against the table so he could reach me with his scoop. I took it from him with a soft sigh, picking up some food with it and starting to feed him. The first bite let a happy smile appear on his lips. Still munching I held up another full spoon at his lips, my pinky pushing his hand away that was about to reach up for his lips. I was still waiting for any kind of answer from my father, but he punished me with silence.

“Don’t make me feed you as well”

I said with a light chuckle, looking at my father who took a deep breath at my words. He picked up a piece of meat and shoved it into his mouth. Chewing slowly he rose both brows as if he wanted to ask me if I was happy now. I shook my head lightly as it was rare to see such childish behavior on the king. It seemed that the first bite animated him to continue his meal and I felt a proud happiness inside of me.

“How did the negotiations go?”

I didn’t expect him to start a conversation, not used to talk at dinner with him or at least, I couldn’t remember the last time we did.

“I heard I did well and since no one was complaining, I think that everything should be to your satisfaction”

The King nodded and leaned back in his chair, holding a glass of water in his hand. Grey hues laid on it when he moved it around, causing the water to swirl around. It was obvious that there was something he wanted to say, but it made me nervous that he had to think about it. Clicking his tongue, he looked at me again.

“Tomorrow will be a formal gala in the diamond mansion. I would like you to attend, substituting for me. It is just about shaking hands and be present.”

“So, a party for the rich and the famous?”

“Exactly”

He finally took a sip from his glass, putting it back onto the table. I tried to remember the diamond mansion as it was used for spending luxurious holidays in the woods. My memories about ever being there were blurred, but I could remember the lake where my father took me for fishing. Was it even the same place? Distracted by my own thoughts, I brought my gaze back to him. I couldn’t refuse his request, even if I didn’t see any sense in such galas.

“What’s so important about this gala that you can’t cancel it? After a few glasses of wine, they won’t even remember if one of us would’ve been there”

A soft chuckle rolled over the king’s lips, in need of another drink of water when he started to cough. Was he hiding his own ailment, so we wouldn’t worry?

“The emperor of Niflheim will be there as well”

I almost dropped Noctis’ spoon in surprise, but he wasn’t eating from it anyways. Fingers were already stuffing one pea after another into his mouth. My eyebrows moved up in confusion when my attention laid on my father again, the plastic spoon on my plate, so I could wipe my fingers clean.

“You don’t think this is a trap?”

An amused smile laid on my father’s lips, pushing up the grey beard that was hiding them.

“Oh, I do and I’ve made a few preparations. I’ll have a few guards stationed outside and Marshal Leonis is involved already. I have faith in you, Aeterna. Don’t make me regret this.”

Words so serious but softened with a wink. How should I construe his gesture? And what did he meant by saying that he had faith in me? Did he believe in my skills to talk or those to fight? I was confused and I didn’t have the courage to ask, fearing his answer already. I nodded to him and saw Noctis rubbing his eyes. It was time to bring him to bed. I stood up and picked him out of the highchair, sitting down again with him on my lap. A hand pulled his arm away, the other trying to clean his face with a tissue.

“Mommy”

Lips pouted when he asked for his mother and I nodded to him, brushing black strands of hair out of his face.

“We go right after dinner, sweetheart, and tell mommy goodnight”

“No!”

Regis slammed his hand onto the table so hard that my fork fell off the plate, making Noctis and me wince. My heart was pounding against my chest and I put my hand onto the side of my brother’s face, pulling him close to me as I could see that he was about to cry. I shot a glare at my father who sighed deeply, standing up.

“She’s asleep and needs to rest. You can see her in the morning, when she feels better”

No apologize left his lips when he turned away from us, grabbing his cane to leave the dining hall with Clarus at his side. What went into him?

Noctis wasn’t allowing anyone to touch him and even when I stood in his nursery and changed him into his pajamas, he refused to stay in his bed without letting out a loud bloodcurdling cry. I could only imagine how much the sudden outburst of his father upset him, so I decided to take him with me into my room. I told the nanny that she could go home as it wouldn’t make sense to stay here. Cor brought me to my door and opened it for me, bowing as I was about to enter.

“I’ll be here if you need anything. Goodnight, your highness”

He was so incredibly formal that it felt awkward. His room was right beside mine and I knew that he would be there if I needed him, but right now I needed more than him just being my bodyguard. He was as cold as my father. I gave him a nod so he could go and I felt a sudden loneliness inside of me. I had no one who would comfort me and tell me that I had nothing to worry about, but all I got were more things to think about. More things to worry about. My back pushed the door close and I walked over to my bed. Noctis looked lost in it when I laid him down onto the pillows, tucking him into the blanket. For me, this bed was too big. Too high as well, which made me worry that Nocto would fall out of it at night and break a bone. I pushed his little body to the center of the bed so I could go to the bathroom and change into my pajamas. Brushing my teeth, I leaned my shoulder against the doorframe and looked out of the panoramic windows on the side of my room, lost in thoughts.

My father was acting strange. More than usual. When I mentioned to visit my mother, he reacted with such anger that I could still feel the aggressive voice in my bones. I tried to put the pieces together and couldn’t help thinking that something was wrong with her. She was the part that was keeping us together as a family and if we’d lose that piece, we’d lose ourselves.

Back at the sink, I rinsed my mouth and washed my face, turning the light off before climbing carefully onto my bed. I laid close to my baby brother, bringing an arm around him so I would notice if he would move too far from me. My other arm slipped under my pillow and I tried to catch some sleep, hoping my mind would allow it.

———-Next Morning———-

A poke on my cheek, followed by tiny finger pinching my skin lightly. My hand moved up blindly, grabbing Noctis’ hand to move it away from my face. I made a face and groaned in protest, not sure how early in the morning it was.

“Nocto, please”

I rolled onto my back and brought my hand to my face, rubbing the base of my nose. Tiny hands immediately found its place on my other arm, pushing against it.

“Whek up, Aeta”

Fingers still on my face, I opened one eye to look at him. A chuckle fell from my lips when I saw his messy dark hair, which looked like being electrified. I moved my hand away from his hands and brushed his hair with my fingers.

“Do you even know what time it is?”

Small hands moved to his chest, palms up under his chin when he lifted his shoulders.

“Six?”

Lifting my head, I looked at the clock beside my bed, trying to read the blurry numbers. I dropped back into my pillow and rolled my eyes to Noctis.

“Almost. It’s half past five”

Big blue eyes stared at me while he nodded, his hands grabbing my arm to move it from his head. Little fingers pressed against my hand, tugging on it for an attempt to make me stand up.

“I’m hungwee”

I knew that the nanny wouldn’t come until seven, so it was up to me to feed the hungry nag. Sitting up unwillingly, I moved to the edge of the bed and stood up. My hands were already welcoming the short one to help him down to the ground as well. In a usual manner, I walked into the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush, putting paste on it as Noctis’ was tugging on my shorts. I stuck the brush into my mouth and looked down at him, a tiny finger pointing at himself.

“Hm? Where’s yo’ bwush?”

Feet stomping on the ground when he ran over to the door, standing up on his tiptoes to reach the door handle but it slid out of his hands, causing a loud noise when it snapped back up. I ran up to him and opened the door, which had been pushed open farther by him. I didn’t know why this child felt like needing more space than necessary.

“Swowy!”

I yelled with the brush still in my mouth, deciding to do my daily hygiene on my way into Nocto’s nursery. He pushed me out of the way when I cleared the way into his room, watching him running into his bathroom. I grabbed the toothpaste from him and put some onto his colorful brush so he could flash his teeth at me and show me how good he was at brushing teeth. A thumb up was all I could do, my mouth full with foam.

“Up early?”

My body swung around, seeing Cor leaning on the doorframe of the room. I rolled my eyes playfully and nodded, pointing with a free hand at Noctis. The little bundle of energy wanted to run up to uncle Cor but I hunkered down and stopped him with my hand on his chest. I shook my head at him and grabbed his arm to turn him to the bathroom, giving his back a gentle push with my knee when standing up on my feet again.

Faces clean, I let him run to Cor for a hug-attack. I had to lean down to take a look into the mirror and I didn’t look as bad as expected. I was still in my pajamas, but they consisted of shorts and a tank top, so nothing to seduce someone with, I guess. Leaving the bathroom, Noctis’ found a new victim who would carry him around.

“Yeah? And what do you want?”

“Sammich”

I mouthed Nocto’s answer when he said it to Cor, knowing it was his favorite food at any time of the day. The marshal looked at me, eyes wandering down and he rose his eyebrows at my bare feet. I shrugged when our eyes met and walked past them. Noctis’ hand moved Cor’s face back to him so he could repeat what he wanted.

“I want a sammich white now!”

“I know, but who will do it?”

Before entering my room again, I turned my head to them and saw my brother pointing at me with a giggle. Feet slipped into a pair of sneakers and my hair had been pulled into a ponytail, grabbing a random tie that laid on my nightstand. Back at Cor and Noctis, I looked into the blue hues of the youngest and held my hands open to him.

“Come on, let’s switch. Uncle Cor can carry Aeta now”

Slender brows moved up and he looked up at Cor, the surprised expression on his face reflecting on the elder’s. An amused chuckle fell from my lips and my hands slipped under Noctis’ arms to put him down onto his feet. His one-piece-pajamas had rubber soles, so he didn’t need any shoes to walk on his own. The silence of the corridors had been broken by his heavy steps when he was running straight ahead.

“Noct, wait! And be quiet. The others are still sleeping”

He stopped and turned around, his finger on his puckered lip to hush me. Without thinking about it, I grabbed Cor’s hand and pulled him with me, the sole of his boots squeaking at the sudden turn. I ran after Nocto, releasing the hand of the other to catch my little brother from behind, his giggles filling the empty corridors and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stay silent.

In the kitchen I had to orient myself before able to make a quick ham sandwich with cucumber slices. Nocto sat up on the counter, his legs swinging back and forth in excitement and when I handed him his anticipated bread, he seemed like the happiest kid on earth. I made another one and I remembered that I’ve never seen Cor eating. Was he even eating at all? Did he need to eat? I chuckled to myself at the mess in my head, noticing that I wasn’t really awake yet. I held it up to him and he shook his head, but I insisted, pushing it towards his lips. His head tilted back but he took the offered sandwich, hesitantly biting a piece off as if I would try to poison him.

„We have combat training today“

I told Cor with a reminding finger pointing at him. He nodded and even his chews looked really serious and focused. A nod was given to me and I cleaned up the mess, knowing that the other would keep an eye on the prince so he wouldn’t get the idea of jumping down the counter. The sound of hands brushing against each other made me look at the marshal again and I wondered if he inhaled the whole slice of bread while I turned away for a minute.

“Maybe we should start now, since you’re awake that early anyways?”

Even if he put it like a question, he made it sound like an order. His head was lowered and eyes looked up at me from the side, making my heart skip a beat. I still hadn’t the chance to find out what was going on between us, but I wouldn’t talk to him in front of Noctis. I just hoped that I might get a chance to lure him into any kind of information when we would work out. My hand pointed at Noctis, eyes laying on my bodyguard.

“Mind to take him to his room? I’d get ready quickly. The Nanny should be here in a minute.”

A nod was given to me. Enough to allow me to leave without worrying about my brother. I hurried down the halls and corridors, since I didn’t want any of the workers to see me running around in my sleeping clothes. _This wasn’t appropriate for a princess_

After a quick shower I slipped into my leggings, tank top and heavy combat boots. All in black of course. On my way to the backyard, I pulled my hair up into a tight ponytail. My guess that I would be the first one at the training spot was wrong; the marshal was already standing in the middle of the plaza and looked up at me as if I’d be late. I manifested my Katana into my hand while jogging down the few steps to the training space. The handle twisted around my hand, the blade turning in a playful manner at my side.

“You should wear your protection. We are not fighting with dummies”

A smirk tugged on the side of my lips and I held the sword up on my shoulder, provoking the man who was worrying about my safety.

“To hurt me, you have to actually hit me”

Cor shook his head, throwing his Katana at me and I caught it with my free hand. He pulled his jacket off and threw it onto the stairs.

“Equal rights for all”

Muscular arms became visible, his tanned skin bringing them out even more. This was a rare view and I had to confess that it distracted me for a moment. He took his Katana from me and stepped in front of me, the blade pointing at the ground beside him.

“No introduction of what we’ll do? No lecture or advice?”

“In time”

Now he was the teasing one and I could swear that I saw the ghost of a smirk grace his lips as well. Without a warning he moved towards me, almost gliding along the concrete floor when his Katana struck out for the first hit. My arm moved up, the polished top touching my skin when the sharp blade protected me from his. I jumped to the side, twisting the hilt in my hand again to swing the weapon upward. Metal hit metal when he blocked me, his sword pushing mine to the ground. I turned around, the hilt always in my hand when I moved my leg up, the heavy boot stepping onto his blade. My body pushed itself into the air, my wrist moving to the side until my blade could be released from his, so I could swing it over my head. Cor jumped back before my sword was too close to him, causing me to fall off his Katana. Eyes fell on him and I could see that I caught him off guard, his nostrils moving at heavy breaths.

“Too slow”

I dropped my head, not expect him to criticize me like this. I grit my teeth, prepared for another round.

“Not planning to cut off your limbs, marshal”

“I’m aware of that”

Arrogance at its finest. Feet pushed themselves into the ground and I brought my weight into them before running into the first attack. He blocked my hit, turning around and even bringing the hilt from one hand into the other while I let my strikes rain onto him. Cor didn’t do much but his blade was in a constant move. The sharp edge of my Katana collided with his and he swung his free arm around me, turning me so quick that I felt his chest against my back without the ability to react. The back of my sword touched the side of my neck, the sharp edge of his was dangerously close as well. I felt his head on the other side of mine.

“You’re dead”

His words entered my ear and crawled down beneath my skin. My free hand held onto his arm and I could feel that every breath I took was moving it up and down.

“Oh really? I thought this is your way of cuddling”

Cor removed the blade from mine and pushed me away from him. He turned his side to me and gestured with his hand to continue.

“Again”

The tone in his voice was different. I rolled my head to relax the muscles in my neck, wondering if this was a reaction to what I’ve said. He usually wasn’t so sensitive at what I said, but right now I had the feeling that a playful flirt flustered him. I still didn’t become wiser than before.

I licked my lips, tasting my salty sweat on the warm flesh. Looking at Cor, he was like a machine, no sign of exertion.

Another round? Fine by me. I made the first move, running towards him and holding my Katana up, pretending to attack his left side. When he was about to block, I showed him that I had other plans. My upper body moved down, my weight shifted onto the right leg and the hilt of my sword had been pounded into his side. As soon as he moved in pain, I was behind him and my foot kicked into the hollow of his knee. It forced him down to one knee, but I wasn’t done yet. An arm wrapped around his throat, yanking him back so he would fall onto the ground. I jumped onto him quickly, my knees on his chest and victory would be mine when I would hold my blade against his throat. I don’t know how, but his Katana was between us, shielding his throat from my sword.

“Very creative, but you’re still too slow”

I could see that he was actually enjoying it to tell me what I was doing wrong in his eyes. I moved my blade away from his, the top leaning on my shoulder again while I looked down at him.

“I’m not the one who gets bruises after getting laid"

Muscles in his jaw braced and I could see his teeth grit through closed lips. So it made him feel uncomfortable and maybe I was pushing him too far, but I couldn’t just ignore what happened. It seemed that he could and it bothered me. I moved off him and sat on the ground beside him, bringing one leg up so I could prop up my hand that was holding the hilt of my Katana up on my knee. Cor sat up as well, his position resembling mine.

“You still owe me an explanation, Cor. After what happened in the hunter’s office, you pretend as if nothing happened”

“Because nothing happened”

Eyes met mine just for a glimpse and he stood up, leaving me speechless. Eyebrows knitted when I looked at the ground, not allowing him to let that stand like this. My Katana vanished when I stood up, following him to the stairs where he put his jacket back on. I positioned myself in front of him, standing on the third step which brought my face at least a bit onto his level.

“It’s one thing to tell me that it meant nothing to you, but pretending that the whole thing never happened is a hard pill to swallow”

My arms crossed on my chest and he looked up at me when he fixed his collar, continuing with the ends of his sleeves.

“It was a mistake which should not be repeated.”

“So now you’re calling it a mistake?”

A sigh fell from his lips and he put his hands on his hips, for a short moment he was lost for words. My glare betrayed that I was waiting for anything he would give me to make me understand.

“What did you expect, Aeta? I’m sorry that I allowed it to happen, but I cannot risk to lose my job. I have obligations which include to protect you and not to…”

Cor’s nose scrunched lightly before he could speak out what he wanted, his eyes looking almost helplessly into mine. I rose my brows and leaned closer to him, turning my head lightly as if I wanted to listen to him whisper.

“Spit it out, Marshal. You cannot make me feel worse anymore”

When I moved back to stand straight, I noticed that he was looking at the ground. Maybe angered by me but I assumed that he was rather ashamed of this situation and the intimate moment we shared a day before. I let a sarcastic chuckle fall from my lips.

“And asking me for expectations is just the limit. I don’t know where your blind ass had been for the past few years, but I have feelings for you, Cor. Maybe I should apologize for my naivety, marshal?“

He looked up at me again but as soon as his eyes met mine, I broke the short gaze. When I turned around, I could see his hand twitch but it was a rather poor attempt to hold me back from walking away. He didn’t even really try.

My palm moved onto the upper part of my face and I shook my head at myself. How stupid could I be to even imagine that this could have been something. That he felt the same way as I did. Brushing down my face, I dropped my hand to my side and walked back into my room. My boot kicked the door close when I was in my own four walls; my shelter. I let myself fall prone onto the freshly made bed, burying my face in the sheets. A deep muffled growl had been pushed into the blanket; just barely representing my disappointment. I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling, rethinking what Cor had said to me. He was talking about his obligations, but he didn’t lose a word about how he actually felt about it. I knew he wasn’t someone who showed any kind of emotions nor would he talk about it, but could he feel really nothing for me? Was he unable to love me back? I wouldn’t give up on the hope that there was more hidden behind his unspoken words.

My head moved up when someone knocked on my door, letting the other know to come in by a quick “Yes”. Cor pushed half of his body through the door, hands still holding onto the handle.

“The tailor is here for you. He has been sent to the dressing room and waits there”

“I’m comin'”

I swung myself up onto my feet and the marshal opened the door completely so I could leave my room.


	3. Just a Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All preparations for the party has been made and the Princess arrives accompanied by Clarus, meeting Cor there. Aeterna feels uncomfortable at first, but soon finds her own way to make the best out of her situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First-Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

Eyes observed me closely. Fingers brushed along every inch of my skin. I had to stand still and only move when I had been told to. The measuring tape becoming cold, when the tailor moved it away from me to scribble something onto his notepad. He sat down on a chair and started to scroll through his notes, making a stern face. Jumping down the pedestal, I sat down on the edge of it and put my boots back on.

“You shrunk since the last time we met. I am unable to prepare anything in advance if you continue like this”

We exchanged a quick chuckle while he kept his eyes on his pad, starting to draw something. I finished tying my shoes when he made a few last strokes and handed me his idea. Just a quick glimpse and my hand reached for his pen, starting to make a few changes.

“I want a slit here and on the other side…and up here…applications…thicker on the end of the sleeves”

The pad had been returned to its owner and a soft sigh fell from his lips. He studied my corrections and pushed his glasses down a bit, looking at me over the frame.

“Quite daring, don’t you think? Anyways, this might take some time. ‘til when do you need it?”

“Gala starts at eight”

“Yes, but we’re leaving at seven”

Cor brought in and made me look up, seeing him standing beside the door, half of him hidden behind Clarus who was with us as well. Another deep sigh fell from the tailor’s lips and I knew that he wouldn’t make it on time.

“You’d have to come and get ready in my office, but I am still unsure if you’ll make it on time”

“I’ll go with her and make sure she will”

Clarus firm voice made even the tailor turn around, his eyebrow pushed up. It really sounded like a threat, the question was: whom was it for? I wondered that he said he would bring me, as he never left my father’s side. Cor was surprised as well and pushed himself off the wall, the elder looking back at him over his shoulder.

“You have to be there on time, since **your** men are standing outside. I’ve been told to assist the princess in case of…complications”

“If that’s my father’s wish…”

I shrugged and stood up, about to leave but I decided to stop beside Clarus. The smell of leather surrounded him, his uniform squeaking when he turned to look down at me.

“This castle might be safe, but it is not impregnable. I hope you understand my concern that your absence might make us appear vulnerable.”

An amused smile appeared on the king’s shield’s lip and he lifted his arm, a hand had been placed on my shoulder.

“Don’t underestimate your father. My absence will be barely noticed and I can assure you that my company won’t last long.”

Nodding my head, I left the dressing room and heard Cor following me. His steps seemed faster and louder when he walked beside me, eyebrows furrowed. My eyes looked at the ground, able to see his hands clenching fists and he moved faster, making me almost run after him. Did he even know where I planned to go?

“Shouldn’t you be the one running after me?”

Features on his face softened when he slowed down, realizing that I was behind him and tried to catch up. It was rare that I saw him so deep in thoughts that he forgot about what was going on around him.

“Sorry”

A grumbled apologize left his lips and I was finally able to walk beside him at normal pace. I turned my open hand and closed it around his fist, my thumb pushing gently against his curled fingers. Muscles twitched at my touch but relaxed soon. My palm brushed along his before falling to my side again.

“Don’t make your discontent appear so obvious. This is unusual for you.”

Eyes didn’t look at him, just letting my words sink in. I stopped abruptly, almost missing the door to one of the smaller offices where I was planning to do some of the leftover paperwork. Heels squeaked when Cor noticed that I vanished in the small room, closing the door behind him after following me inside. The chair behind the desk was uncomfortable and I sat on the edge of it, grabbing my pen before leaning my forehead against my palm, my elbow propped up against the mahogany tabletop. Eyes read the first lines of the first inquiry.

“Sit down or occupy yourself with something. This will take a while”

Cor decided to sit down on the chair on the other side of my desk and I felt his eyes on me which made me feel slightly uncomfortable. A sigh fell from my lips. Would he sit there all day and stare at me? What should happen to me in here anyways? I was even sure that most of our servants didn’t know this room existed. I lifted my head only to sign the paper and placed it into the outbox, so it could be sealed and send out. Next one.

Any request to see my mother had been declined. I wanted to see her before I left the castle with Clarus. When I asked him for a reason, he wasn’t able to give me one that I could accept. I was sure that even if she felt tired, she would want to see Noctis and me. My disappointment reflected in my mood, not feeling like going anywhere. Even Clarus attempts to cheer me up weren’t working, but it was nice to know that he tried.

At the tailor’s workshop, he helped me up onto a pedestal before pulling a curtain close, so Clarus wouldn’t have to watch me getting undressed. I stripped down my clothes and the tailor handed me my shoes first. When I put them on, I gained at least fifteen centimeters in height. Hands held onto the shoulders of the dressmaker, feet stepping into the dress before he pulled it up. He guided my hands and arms carefully through the delicate meshed sleeves, which became invisible on my skin. Black applications were attached around the fabric on my wrist and shoulders; more covered the sides of my torso. The skirt was pitch-black and I lifted a leg to see if the cuts had been made high enough for me to move freely. I had been turned around and eyes fell onto my reflection in a huge mirror that had been hanging from the wall. My hair had been slicked back, braided on each side of my head. Smokey eyes accentuated with a golden shimmer at the inner corner. The dress was breathtaking and the tailor realized my conceptions better than expected.

The button on my upper back had been closed and he pulled the curtain aside, revealing the view on me for Clarus. Dark eyebrows moved up when he was looking me up and down.

“If your beauty and status wouldn’t draw any attention to you, this dress surely will”

I wasn’t sure if this was a compliment or hidden criticism, but it made me smile anyways. Clarus came closer and took my hand to help me down from the pedestal, guiding me back to the car that was waiting outside. Both of us sat in the back when I reached down under my seat to pull out my leather bracer. I rolled up my sleeve to put it around my right arm and Clarus yanked my hand closer to himself, closing the belts for me before covering it with my sleeve again.

“You’re like your father. His hidden blade was a dagger in his boot.”

I chuckled and thanked him with a nod, bringing my hands back into my lap. Clarus chose to wear a black tuxedo and a purple shirt. An unusual sight as he had been always seen in either his uniform or in full armor.

My heart beat faster than usual and even though I was used to such events, I felt nervous. I couldn’t really grasp the cause but as soon as we pulled into the parking slot, it hit me. I was actually nervous to see him. Worrying what he would think when he would see me. My mind was blocked by this one man: Cor.

The opening door surprised me and Clarus noticed that I had been ripped out of my thoughts. A soft smile on his lips and my hand in his brought me back to reality. I tried to shrug off any unease and focus on what I have been here for. To be honest, I didn’t even know that, but Clarus would guide me into the right direction. I took a deep breath before entering the big main hall, trying to keep up a stern expression, not returning any smile and greetings had been answered with a nod. Just like my father always did. Was I even allowed to actually enjoy parties like this? No, I couldn’t allow myself to stumble into questioning everything again. The music was loud, but the voices of the people appeared much louder. I leaned back until my shoulder touched Clarus chest and he lowered his head, so I didn’t have to scream up at him.

“I’m going to the bathroom upstairs quick”

“I’ll wait here”

I nodded and had to walk through the room, trying to avoid the dancing couple that weren’t really paying attention to what was happening around them. On my way, I always tried to return every nod with a bow and shake every hand that had been held up to me, forgetting most of their names within seconds. _Too many people._ My heels were heavy, but I missed the sound they’d make when I walked up the stairs. _Too loud. _My hands moved down to my skirt, pulling the sides away so it would be easier to move. On the open area upstairs were more people, most of them greeting me like a friend, but I have never seen them in my life. Their fake smiles and laughs were ringing in my ears. _Too much. _My hand pushed the door to the bathroom open and I closed it immediately, leaning my back against the cold wood. I just needed a second to calm down.

Cold water poured down onto my hands and I brought one of them to the back of my neck, seeing myself in the mirror again. I tried to be like my father, but maybe his ways didn’t suit me. Maybe I had to find my own way to handle those people. The King was always serious, not talkative and I’ve never seen him dancing in front of others. He felt comfortable with this role. What was my style? I was bold, a fighter, someone who might enjoy to be the center of attention. Cocky? Perhaps. A smirk turned up the curve that made me look like a statue. Yeah, that was more like me.

I was ready to step out into the crowd, leaving the bathroom with new encouragement. Fake smiles had been returned with mine and steps were quicker, hips letting the skirt of my dress sway. Legs becoming visible in a switch at each step I walked down and my eyes focused on Clarus who was standing where I had left him. People moved and I spotted someone else right beside him, the view letting my heart almost jump. The marshal turned his head and icy hues caught me immediately. He wore black in black, top buttons of his shirt open, revealing his collarbone.

I was already close to them when Cor bowed lightly. He held a glass with ice cubes, a lime and something I assumed would be water. I snitched it out of his hand and turned on my heel, my back not far away from the little free space between them. The cold glass touched my warm lips as I spoke into the crystal cup.

“Did anyone of you get the chance to see the emperor somewhere? I thought we’d be late already”

Eyes scanned through the people and I tilted the glass to take a sip of the water, a pleasure to my dry throat but the taste was awful. It was caffeinated water, laying bitterly on my tongue.

“Not yet. You should also take your place at the chair by the end of the dancing area. Might not be bad to greet the others officially, even if our special guest isn’t here yet”

I gave him a nod when I spotted the place Clarus was speaking of. My hand moved to the side to return the glass, bumping the back of it against Cor’s chest. His hand was warm against mine when he took it, causing me to look at him over my shoulder. My eyes fell onto his lips, just for second, but they didn’t betray any kind of emotion, yet were they tempting me for a kiss.

“You should stay here and pay attention who comes in and who goes out”

A wink accompanied my one-sided smile. I turned away from him, letting Clarus guide the way towards the chair for the royal guest. Another one was right beside it, two smaller chairs standing sideways behind both. The royal guard took my hand and I turned around, letting myself slowly down onto the chair. The supportive touch ended and he signalized the DJ to turn the music off for a moment, so he could be heard. The attention of the audience laid on him already.

“High society of Eos, it is my pleasure, no, an honor to introduce you: Aeterna Lucis Caelum, Princess of Lucis and daughter of our beloved King, Regis Lucis Caelum.”

My eyes laid on Clarus who was visibly enjoying the show. The people started to applaud.

“Please, enjoy yourselves tonight as we will do as well. And don’t forget…”

He grabbed two glasses with champagne that stood on a serving tray from a waiter that was passing us and handed me one before lifting his to the others.

“The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies “

A chuckle filled the hall and everyone rose their glass. Speaking of enemies; Emperor Aldercapt just entered. A young man was walking beside him and when Clarus turned to take a look as well, he was covering my view on them.

“Welcome, Emperor Aldercapt. It is an honor to have you here as well”

The leader of the Niflheim Empire nodded to the royal guard before stepping up in front of me. I felt like I had to stand as well, waiting for him to bow down first before returning the gesture with a light bow of my head.

“Your highness, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

He reached for my hand and lifted it up to his lips, but they never touched my skin when he kissed it. The emperor stepped to the side, holding his hand out towards his young companion. A tall brunette man, with the same expression on his face like Aldercapt, cold and unpredictable.

“This is my eldest son; Prince Silas Aldercapt”

Dark brown eyes looked up at me when he bowed down, my hand in his before soft lips kissed the back of my hand. He smelled like cigarettes and motor oil which wasn’t a big surprise, considering where he came from. The emperor sat down at the chair beside me, his son taking the chair next to his. Clarus turned to me, his eyes saying more than words could, not really pleased by them sitting so close to me. He gave the DJ a signal that he could turn up the music again and the others continued to celebrate their reunion. Before taking his seat beside my chair, Clarus grabbed my arm and leaned closer to me.

“You don’t have to sit here. Go and show off a bit. I’ll be here and Cor is keeping an eye on you as well. If they drop the bomb, we’ll be prepared”

I moved my glass to his and let it clink to tell him that I understood. As soon as he sat down, I was disappearing in the dancing crowd, making my way to the other side where I assumed to see a face I could remember. Cor was always close. I could see him in the corner of my eye, like a shadow that followed me wherever I go. I would prefer to spend my time here with him but I was sure this would be a biased desire, at least we would do it out of different reasons.

I faked the best smile I could when joining a small group of people, one of them being a well-known shipbuilder, having sold the royal vessel to us just a few years ago. The conversation was rather perfunctory, but I did my best to pretend my interest in it. Questions about me or my father had been answered short, changing the subject as quick as possible. Then one of the women started to compliment Emperor Aldercapt’s son, making an inappropriate comment about flirting with him but sadly she was here with her husband. An almost nervous chuckle rolled over my lips and I drowned my discomfort in champagne. A waiter held his tray towards me so I could replace my empty glass with a full one. I started to understand why people were drinking.

“Princess, allow me to tell you that your dress is really hot. I’d wear it myself but age affected the gravity of several parts of my body. You know…Oh, speaking of hot stuff”

The woman’s choice of words was awful and I asked myself if she would be always behaving like this. She looked away from me, over my shoulder and I turned around slowly, curious who she was looking at. She already informed me that it had to be hot stuff. Eyes caught the view of the approaching prince and I couldn’t hide my disappointment as I was expecting someone else. Chocolate hues laid on me and I was hoping that he wasn’t planning to join the awkward conversation as well, or worse, risk his life by coming too close to me. Without knowing where Cor stood, I could feel his piercing eyes in the back of my neck. Silas extended an inviting hand, flashing a flirtatious smile at me before parting his lips to speak

“May I have this dance, your highness?”

I could feel my eyebrow rising higher than usual, asking myself what his intentions were. My head moved back a little and I tried to find the right words to reject his request, then again, it was just a dance. What should I worry about? My hand found its way into his and the cocky woman took my glass, nodding to him with a wink. I had been led onto the dance floor and with a skilled move of his hand, he swung me right up against him. Fingers closed around my hand, holding it up before his other hand found its place on my lower back. Instinctively, mine was placed on his shoulder, my arm resting on his. Silas took the lead, moving me along with him in the slow rhythm of a classic song.

“Your mistrust is unfounded, yet I can understand your concerns. Your Kingdom and our Empire were never considered as allies. Maybe our generation will be able to change that”

The prince’s voice was hypnotizing and it was the way he spoke, the tone in his voice that made me actually listen with interest, even if I found it ridiculous to think that the disputes between Niflheim and Lucis could be put aside just like he made it sound.

“Many beliefs and approaches have to change until there is a chance to even think about peace between both nations.”

He smiled, even letting a soft chuckle escape his lips before shaking his head lightly. My eyebrows knitted, showing him that I didn’t like the way he reacted to what I said. I felt like he wouldn’t take me for serious.

“You sound like a war strategist, not like a politician. Sometimes peace can be achieved without force, but by the power of words. A covenant that binds us to share power and knowledge. Why does it seem so hard for you to imagine something like this?”

Now he was amusing me. Silas sounded as if he didn’t even know where he was living and what the empire has done to so many nations. I licked my lips and could feel that my eyes were judging him for his innocence which I compared to weakness.

“Niflheim is the breeding ground for destruction. I’ve seen your military forces. Remote-controlled machines that know no mercy. How come you think that this might be something of interest for the King or even me? You are unable to convince me to believe that the production of such a deadly army would be put to a stop. Negotiations between our fathers have failed and there is no chance that ours might end any different”

Silas hand pushed against my back and brought me closer to him, getting me to turn my head to the side. I felt his breath on my ear and the grip around my hand tightened.

“You’re so waspish, still, a blessing to my eyes. Maybe, you and me, find another way to…negotiate when in private.”

A sarcastic laugh fell from my lips. His attempt to seduce me was poor and didn’t work at all. How could he even be sure that I didn’t belong to anyone already. I pulled my hand out of his and placed it on the side of his neck, letting my voice enter his ear in a purr, just the same way his did.

“As you said before: I am not a politician and not in the position to make any kind of negotiations. Thank you for the dance”

I gave him a soft push before turning away from him, my eyes meeting Cor’s immediately. His hands were clenching fists and the muscles on his neck stood out. Knitted eyebrows brought out his displeasure. I actually like this look and couldn’t hide a smirk when walking straight towards him. My hands brushed up along his chest, grabbing his collar and pretending to fix his shirt.

“Calm down, killer. You should trust me to have full control over the situation. The boy’s no threat. Worry about his father, if you have to”

The way he looked at me now made me realize that this wasn’t anger, it was jealousy. I cleared my tongue, fighting the urge to grin as it would confuse him even more. The next song distracted me. I knew it by heart. I’ve be taught in every dance style, even the forbidden ones. This song belonged into this category. The bass hard, making your heart beat in its rhythm. The vocals seductive. The melody reminds you of belly dancers. I stepped back from Cor, my hips rolled in the pulse of the tune and a finger was invitingly pointing at my guard. My hands moved to the side of my thighs, rhythmically moving up my curves until the back of my fingers brushed along my face. 

Our eyes locked and his lower lip moved lightly under his teeth. A move that already drove me wild. I turned around, letting him enjoy the view on my back when I danced my way down into a squatting position. My arms above my head, movements winded by the melody. I made my way back up and felt someone close behind me, fingertips brushing along my arm down to my hips. He was so close that bodies moved like one, his hand moved from my hip to my stomach, making me push myself against him. His scent was enchanting when I felt his head beside mine, never doubting that it could be anyone else but Cor.

His hand grabbed mine, giving me a firm push to turn me around, arms stretched before a quick tug made me spin back to him. My chest bumped into his, his leg positioned between mine when another hand found its place on my lower back. Cor lifted my arm before tilting my body back. Blood rushed into my head and my leg moved up onto his hip, pulling myself back up slowly. My face was just a breath away from his, lips so close that it could be mistaken for a kiss.

Suddenly the music stopped and the lights went off. We let go of each other, looking around. We tried to find the reason for the blackout. People were whispering and I had a bad feeling about this. I closed my eyes, trying to hear something else than the voices of the others. Heavy steps became louder. I could have sworn that I heard glass break. My eyes opened again and I saw the red dot of a laser on the white wall not far away from us.

“Everybody get out of here, right now!”

Clarus voice caused panic, people started to storm out of the door and my eyes fell onto the glass door on the other side of the room. It led to a separate entrance and it was also the source of the lasers.

“Party’s over”

Anger filled my voice while I manifested my sword into my hand, watching a handful of magitek soldiers running into the hall. Their guns were held up and pointed at Cor, Clarus and me.


	4. Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The appearance of magitek soldiers ended the party. Cor and Aeterna fight agaonst the attackers and as soon as they head back for the castle, they also fight their own personal war against each other. So it seems. Aeterna appears to always lose and another stroke of fate weakens the strong daughter of the King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

„Hope The Immortal is bulletproof“

Cor clicked his tongue at my words, not a fan of his appellation. My eyes fell onto an armored finger of the magitek solider that was about to push the trigger. Before the first shot could be made, I jumped in front of the marshal and held my hand up to manifest a shield in front of us. Projectiles bounced off the surface, letting it flash up in bright sparks. The scent of gunpowder filled the air. Clarus wielded his greatsword and I let the protective cover vanish, watching him spear one of the attackers. I tossed my Katana above the soldiers, warping myself towards it and when hands closed around the hilt again, the blade hit into the helmet.

The long edge pierced its way into the twitching soldier and feet pushed against its back so I could jump backwards, pulling my weapon with me. Black smoke arose from the body, broken circuits igniting the gaping oil. No time to worry about it, I had been attacked from behind, a big sword with a jagged blade swung into my direction. My body tilted back, turning on my heel but I almost lost my balance on the thin support on my shoes. I managed to move my hand back, the hidden blade shooting out of my wristband and dove into the wired neck, cutting its way through several cords. I steadied myself and wiped some splattered engine oil from my face. Teeth grit and I hit the back of my foot against the front of the other, activating a mechanism that closed the gap between heel and high platform of the front. I did the same to the other, feeling a better stabilization already.

The next warp brought me beside another gunman, my Katana cutting off his lower arm and catching it midair. Its hand was still holding the machine gun and it pointed at the magitek soldier, letting a round riddle the MT. My sword spiked its head, making sure it would stay dead.

In a flash, an arm had been wrapped around my waist, my feet not touching the ground anymore when I had been turned around. Cor shielded me with his body when something exploded behind us, the impact perceptible as the heat of the flames surrounded us. My hand held onto his arm that was protectively laying around my shoulders. I turned out of his grip as soon as it loosened; looking at him to make sure, he wasn’t seriously injured. The marshal brushed off some of the dust and appeared almost untouched. I didn’t know how he was doing that. The fire alarm started to ring and the sprinkles distributed water. Two axe men blocking the exit weren’t impressed by neither fire nor water, holding up their weapons in a threat. We had to clear the path for Clarus who should be on his way back to the castle. Cor and I started to run at the same time, the magitek soldiers on their way towards us as well. The axe swung into my direction and I jumped to the side, turning in the air when I felt my shield’s Katana slicing through the back part of my skirt, eliminating the enemy with a quick cut. Landing on my feet, I threw my sword at him and he caught it within a rotation of his body before using it for an assault. Both Katanas stuck in the mechanical body when it was shaking at the malfunction, red glowing eyes going out after its body fell onto the wet floor.

Everything went silent. Only the splashing water audible. I looked around, noticing that Clarus hadn’t been with us anymore. I assumed he left while we were in the middle of the fight. My eyes moved back to Cor who threw my Katana back to me and I let it disappear as soon as it touched my hand.

“How were they even able to reach the mansion? I thought you have men out there?”

My lips were quivering, the loss of adrenaline making me feel the coldness of the water. Both of us were soaked to the skin. Cor’s hand wiped some water off his face and licked his lips, his hand now waving at me to come.

“Connection was disrupted already half an hour ago”

His hand grabbed my upper arm just as I was close enough, guiding me outside. I wondered why he was doing it since there was no reason to hold me. Outside, my arm moved out of his grip, causing him to look at me in surprise.

“Could just tell me, you want to hold hands”

A shaky smile laid on my lips before my arms hugged my body, trying to warm myself up a bit. A cold breeze brushed along my legs and while feeling the long front part of my dress sticking to my legs, there was nothing on the back. I leaned back and looked down myself over my shoulder, remembering that Cor cut his way through it. The black fabric was barely covering my bottom.

“No time for jokes. We have to head back. I don’t know if more soldiers are on their way already”

“Chill out, Marshal”

I turned back to him and grabbed the heavy soaked front piece of the skirt, flicking my wrist to let the blade pop out. Blue eyes wandered to my knife, following its movement when I got rid of the unnecessary piece of clothing. It had been dropped, sounding heavy when hitting the ground. My arm moved up, the blade sliding back into my bracer while I walked down the stairs into the direction of the car. I crossed my arms on my chest, unable to get rid of the coldness and became impatient as the car was still locked. Legs brushed against each other and I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that Cor actually enjoyed to see me suffer. He took his time to pull the keys out of the inner pocket of his jacket, pushing the button to unlock the car doors. My hand immediately grabbed the handle to open the door on the passenger’s side, quickly climbing onto the seat. I wanted to pull the door close, but Cor stood already beside me, half of him disappearing above the car’s frame. His jacket had been taken off, placed onto the roof before I saw his hands unbuttoning his shirt from top to bottom. 

I swallowed when he pulled his shirt off as well, my eyes laying on trained abs. Any coldness vanished from my face, blood rushing into it and made my whole body shiver. Tanned muscles braced and he leaned down into the car. My eyes laid on a burly shoulder while he pushed me up from my seat, moving his shirt around me. I didn’t dare to breathe, afraid it would betray my nervousness about being so close to his naked body. Never did I see him topless and just when he moved away to wrap it close, I risked a glimpse. His skin looked so incredibly soft. Small drops of water fell from his short hair, running down each curve. The sudden urge to wipe them off with my fingers overcame me, wanting to feel his skin on mine.

“It’s a bit wet on the front, but the rest should do. You’re okay?”

Eyes blinked at the sound of his voice and I looked up at him, only able to answer with a nod. He leaned against his arm, a hand on top of my seat while the other moved to my face. Cor brushed wet strands of hair out of it before placing the back of his fingers onto my cheek.

“You’re burning up. Hope you won’t catch a cold”

Yeah, I felt so freaking warm because of him. I couldn’t believe that he didn’t get the hint, that my obvious staring at his bare athletic body could be the cause. He chewed on the inside of his lower lip before moving away from me. I could hear him grabbing the jacket from the car’s roof and put it on, closing my door with his foot. My hand held onto the shirt. My body cuddling into the large top. I turned my head to the side when he got into the car, able to catch the sweet scent of him that stuck to the collar of my warming source. Cor never used any kind of cologne. It just smelled like him and I couldn’t describe it, but it was enchanting, having a soothing effect on me. 

The lights flashed up inside the car when the engine had been started. It just started to rain when we drove off. Silence. Radio turned off and only the sound of the wipers audible. The car was filled with warm air and I sat up properly, releasing the shirt from my tight grip to let it hang loosely over my shoulders. It was so dark outside that I couldn’t see more than the headlights revealed, noticing that we were driving at low speed. Cor moved in his seat and placed his hand onto the gearshift. My eyes laid on it and taking a deep breath, I found the courage to place my hand onto his. Fingers moved onto his palm and his thumb moved onto the back of them, brushing lightly along my skin. It was pleasant, yet I felt a sudden sadness overcoming me, remembering what he said about…us.

I leaned my head back, eyes staring into the dark nothingness through the window. My teeth brushed along my lower lip, my head spinning at the emotional chaos inside of me.

“I need to know, if you really don’t feel…more for me”

My voice was so silent that it was barely louder than a whisper. I was unsure if I should ask him, but I would never find out if I wouldn’t. Even if his answer might not be the one, I wanted to hear.

“I’ve never said that.”

Cor’s answer was blunt and made me sit up, turning to him while my hand tightened around his. He didn’t react. Not even one muscle twitching, as if it would leave him cold.

“Then tell me why, Cor. Why don’t you give us a chance? I can’t…”

“I gave you a pretty good reason”

My hands moved up in despair while I shook my head, falling back into my seat with my arms crossed on my chest. I could feel my eyebrows twitching in rising anger.

“A good reason for you. Not for me”

I felt a heavy push against my chest while my body had been forced up, Cor stopping the car abruptly. He turned to me, his arm resting on top of the steering wheel. My heart raced behind my ribcage and I chewed on my lip nervously, seeing his glare in the corner of my eye. I didn’t dare to look at him right now.

“How do you imagine that? Hiding our relationship from the others and never being able to enjoy what we have or asking your father for permission and risk to lose his faith in me or even being rejected so we wouldn’t be allowed to see each other ever again? Those are the only two options and if you ask me, both don’t sound pleasant.”

A deep sigh fell from my lips. My eyes met his when I looked up, seeing that he was waiting for me to tell him that I could understand it. But I couldn’t. I pulled my legs up, kneeling on the seat to bring myself closer to him.

“You’re leaving me the option to ignore what I feel, especially when you’re around. How shall I do that? You seem to switch off any kind of emotion, then teach me how to do that, because I don’t know how”

Features on his face softened and lips parted lightly. Blue eyes looked into mine and I couldn’t tell if he pitied me or if he felt helpless to actually give me the advice I needed. Air hissed between my teeth when I breathed in, breaking the eye contact. My hand pulled his shirt from my shoulder and I sat up, my hand on the door opener. I needed fresh air and I didn’t want to see him looking at me liked this. The lamp in the car turned on when I pushed the door open, swinging my legs outside to get out of the car. I could hear him saying my name to stop me, but I didn’t want to listen, slamming the door close. Heels clicked on the concrete ground and I was a few steps away from the car, walking into the driving direction. It was barely raining anymore, tiny drops hitting my skin but vanishing within seconds.

“Aeta, get back into the car!”

I shook my head to myself at his order that didn’t sound as angry as he used to yell it to me. Ignorance was much worse than an objection. Cor’s steps were quick and I knew he was running after me. My arms crossed on my chest instinctively, knowing he would grab my arm again. Fingertips dug into the skin of my upper arms when I felt him close already, but he passed me to stop in front of me. He walked backwards while I didn’t have the intention to stop. His hands were up in front of his chest, palms facing me.

“Stop being so stubborn and go back to the car. Please.”

“Don’t you dare to call me stubborn”

Eyes rolled up to look into his. He managed to slow me down, but he would have to make me stop by force. He stopped and it made me hesitate to walk further. I made a step to the side, wanting to go past him, however, he didn’t let me. An arm blocked me, his hand touching my arm just lightly.

“I’ll drag you back if I must”

My hand moved to his arm and just a gentle push was enough for him to lean down, pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. A yelp escaped my lips and I kicked my feet in protest, without impressing him much. Blood shot into my head and I tried to lift it up, just to see that I had been swung around while the door of the car had been opened. Cor moved down again and I felt how my body slipped down his shoulder, being thrown onto the back seat of the car. Before he could move away from me, my hand took a hold on the collar of his jacket, keeping him in place. He sighed and grabbed my wrist, but I pulled myself up on him already, bringing my face close to his. Blue orbs took a quick glimpse of my lips before looking into my eyes again.

“Seriously, don’t do that”

He licked his lips, swallowing hard. I could feel that he was fighting against the same urge that I had. Cor still didn’t move my hand away, just holding my wrist in a firm grip. I yanked him closer to me, lips colliding into a deep kiss right away. Heavy breaths pushed through his nostrils. I pulled him down onto me as I leaned back, his hand moving from my wrist to the top of the seats backrest, the other moving under my arched back. Legs parted, one of them moving onto his hip to force him to lay down on me. My hands were both holding onto his jacket now and I lifted myself up, just to toss it over his shoulders. Fingers explored the exposed skin immediately, roaming up to the sides of his neck. Just the touch of his bare skin against mine sent me into ecstasy. His tongue entered my mouth almost violently as soon as my hips moved up against his, the bulge in his pants telling what he was longing for. Hands moved down his chest, taking their time to feel each muscle on his stomach before reaching their destination; his belt. I started to undo it and he groaned into my mouth. My lips caught his lower one, sucking on it when he tilted his head back.

“-ait…”

Cor whispered in a breathless moan, quickly reaching down between us to hold onto his belt. He made it impossible for me to open it. My lips released his and I rose a brow in confusion, not knowing what would be wrong. His warmth left me as soon as he sat back on his legs, pulling the leather strap back where it was.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do that”

His words made me sit straight, propped back against my arms. Cor didn’t even look at me while pulling his jacket back up over his shoulders.

“Are you fucking serious?”

Just a sigh from him was enough to assure me that he was. I pulled my legs back, sitting up on them to bring my face close onto the level of his. My hands placed on each side of his neck, my thumbs brushing along the stubbles on his jawline. His face contorting, teeth visibly grit when he was trying to hide what was going on inside of him.

“You’re making it hard for me to withstand you”

_Literally_. It laid on my tongue, but I didn’t say it out loud. His eyes suddenly met mine again and it took my breath away. Cor was begging me with those bright hues and my lips parted, my voice unable to support any words anymore. Big hands took mine into them, removing them from his neck and I knew that if he would let go of me, it would break my heart into pieces. I quickly held them in a tight grip, my knuckles already turning white.

“I need you, Cor. Not only as my shield. I need you, completely, in my life”

I felt him lifting my hands up to his lips, placing a kiss on each of them

“My life’s committed to someone else already”

Eyelids twitched. I took a deep breath. _You won’t let him see you cry._ I exhaled sharply through my nostrils and took my hands away from his, moving back to sit properly in the back while I could see him close the door. My arm leaned on the frame of the window, my head resting in my palm. _Don’t look at him. _I looked out of the window and was staring again into the darkness outside. Silence. _Stay strong._

As soon as the car had been parked, I opened the door and walked up the stairs to the main entrance. Cor was not calling after me nor was he trying to run after me, as he usually did. He allowed me to be for myself right now. The giant doors opened and my heels echoed against the walls when I passed the entrance hall.

“Why are you coming so late?”

I stopped when my father’s voice could be heard. _Please, not now. _Shoes brushed along the marble floor when I turned to him, greeting him with a bow and an almost obvious fake smile. I shrugged my shoulders and hands moved up and down my body, wanting to point out how I looked.

“I don’t know. Maybe because we were under attack…because those bastards exploded and activated the sprinklers…because it was raining like hell and the missing light sources made it hard to see anything on the streets, so we had to go slow…because I feel freezing cold and am tired like hell. You can make your choice.”

Clarus became visible behind a corner, looking at me as if I would have stabbed my father with my voice. I just realized that it held an aggressive tone and I never allowed myself such an outburst on my father. My chest moved heavily up and down and I tried to calm myself, already regretting that I snapped at him. I waited for him to yell at me, to be put in my place, but when the green eyes of my father weren’t holding any anger, I started to panic. My heartbeat quickened and I looked at Clarus whose gaze laid on the floor. _What the hell was going on here? _Perplex, I looked at my father again and his eyes never held so much pain in them. _Was this my fault?_

Leaning against his cane, he held his arm up and his hand was gesturing for me to come closer. I swallowed, making slow steps towards him. The closer I came, the more could I see that his eyes were bloodshot, a glassy shimmer laying on them. _Was he crying?_ My father's hand moved onto my shoulder and his beard was shaking when his lips trembled, but he tried to keep his countenance.

“I’m sorry, father, if I upset you so much. This was never my intention.”

The king looked down and shook his head, fingers lightly pushed into my skin before he pulled me into a tight embrace. I was shaking in nervousness, my arm hesitantly moving around him to return the gesture. _He didn’t hug you since you were a child._

“Your mother has lost the fight against the disease”

His voice became thinner at each word and I felt like someone would have pulled the carpet from under my feet. My father held me tighter and my arm fell to my side. I felt limp.

“No…”

The word leaving my lips with a gasp. I shook my head. _This cannot be._

“No! You’re lying!”

I was almost yelling when I pushed myself away from him. Eyelids twitched, my fists clenched when I moved away from my father. _Do you see that? Tears falling from the King’s eyes. _I grit my teeth, my head still shaking in disbelief. I ran off into the corridor that would lead me to my mother’s room. Ears caught the steps of someone else but they stopped abruptly. _Good. No one would run after you. _To run faster, I took off my shoes and threw them randomly away while not stopping to run. I could see the door already and my hand reached out for the handle. I stumbled into the bedroom, rushing to her side of the bed just to find it empty. Knees hit the ground, hands making sure that there was really no one laying there before my forehead leaned against the edge. My fingers curled into the cold sheets and I held my breath, trying to fight the urge to cry. _Don’t cry. Don’t cry._ Hot tears ran down my face when I gasped for air. Eyes fell close, lids pressed tightly together. I didn’t have the chance to see her for a last time before she left us. Before she left **me**. I had so much to say, so much to tell. Who would now comfort me and give me an advice to survive this mess I called life? 

I heard steps again and they were coming closer. My lower lip caught between my teeth as I didn’t want any noise to escape my mouth, swallowing another sob down.

“Aeterna…I’m sorry for-”

Without moving my head away from the side of the bed, I lifted a finger to hush Cor.

“Don’t come near me. Just leave me alone.”

Without a word, I heard him leave. The door fell into its lock and I surrendered to my sorrow, just letting all the tears and all the sobs pour out of me. My hands folded on top of my mothers resting place, I begged the gods to bring her back to me.

_It’s always hard to say goodbye_

_I will miss you, mother_

_In your eyes I could do no wrong_

_You would always listen_

_You were always at my side_

_You were the arms around me when I cried_

_You were always there_

_For those you loved the most_


	5. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The funeral of the Queen. Mixed feelings. Broken hearts. This day is filled with so much tears that the princess doesn't even know if there will be any left to cry anymore. Her mother was the only light guiding her. Now she was on her own and needed to make her own decision, do her own choices...even if they might me wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

Organ music played in the big throne room, becoming louder when the heavy doors had been pushed open. I could feel the vibration of each tone in my chest, entering the hall with my head down. The dark lace of my mourning veil covered my eyes, my view blurred by tears already and I was glad that no one could see. My hands folded on my front, laying on the long black dress, covered in lace. Fingertips brushed along my mother’s ring, which adorned my finger now. _I wished, __**she**__ had given it to me._

I could hear and feel the wheels of the coffin trolley behind me, making it even harder for me not to think of my mother laying in it. They decorated it with her favorite flowers, but nothing could make the sight of the casket appealing. Sobs of people surrounded me, becoming more intense when the guards stopped and turned the trolley into the center, positioning it onto the families crest printed on the floor.

My steps became heavier, walking up the stairs that led me to the thrones where my father and brother were sitting on already. Having the people in the back, I allowed myself to lift my hand and the back of it touched my cheeks lightly, tapping off the tears that stuck to them.

I haven’t cried so much since I was a child. The reason was fear, concern and then happiness. My father took me with him to Taelpar Crag where we’ve been waiting for a young warrior to return successfully and primarily alive from Gilgamesh’s trial. I feared he would be killed like the others; I was concerned that he would fail and I was happy when he returned to us. Never will I forget how my arms held onto the young teenager and how he hugged me back. His body was shaking but I held him tight, able to comfort and calm him down. Back then, he gave me a torn piece of his praying beds; the only leftover of his Genji Blade. It was a memory I always held close to my heart.

I reached the last step, having to remind myself that my seat wouldn’t be in the back, but to my father’s right side; the throne my mother was sitting on. This didn’t make me a Queen, only representing the rise of my prestige as a princess. The King stood up as soon as I stepped in front of him, my left hand in the right of his. I bowed down, knees lightly bend. He guided me to my throne, his thumb giving my fingers a light push, to let me know when I had to sit down. High priests entered the hall and positioned themselves around the coffin. Before starting the sermon, we took our places on the thrones and my father’s hand moved away from mine. I brought my arms onto the armrests, hands placed on the ornate ends. Crystal beads tapping the wood barely audible. On a day like this, I wore the praying beads wrapped around my right hand and wrist, the feeling of the small black spheres on my skin had a soothing effect on me.

_It is because of HIM. Let him comfort you. _No. I didn’t need any comfort from anyone. The death of my mother broke my father, the King. He needed me now more than ever. I couldn’t allow myself to disappoint him in any way. I had to stay strong. For him. For my brother. For the Kingdom.

Silent whines could be heard, followed by heartbreaking sobs. _Noctis!_ The little prince was sitting on the King’s left side and I couldn’t see him from my position. All I noticed was Clarus bending forward and trying to calm Nocto with silent whispers. I couldn’t hear what he was saying to him, but it didn’t stop the small prince from crying. Hands moved from armrests into my lap, folded, as I fought the urge to stand up and take my brother into my arms. On official events, no one was allowed up here with us, except for the royal shields and standing up would be called rude, so I had to sit and listen to the painful whimpers of Nocto.

Eyes looked through black lace, laying on the white flowers around the coffin, unable to listen to any word spoken nor to the lyrics of their hymns. I felt numb. Tired from all the tears I shed. Exhausted from all the prayers I had send up to the gods. No one listened, so I would shut my ears as well.

My head turned to the side when I suddenly saw Noctis walking towards his father, holding his hands up to him while his face was buried in his lap. Muffled sobs begged him to pick him up, but the King took his arm to pull him away, telling him to sit back down. _That’s no appropriate. _I could read it on my father’s lips and I was done with it. At times like this, he could at least pretend to be a good father to his son. My body leaned forward until I was able to reach Nocto’s arm, receiving a glare from my father when I pulled the child to me. I picked him up and sat back, sitting him sideways onto my lap. Gasps of indignation broke through the music played, but I knew that my mother wouldn’t have acted any differently. My arms were wrapped around the tiny body, his head resting on my chest. He was slowly calming down and my hand moved to his face, blindly trying to wipe it clean. Cor stepped closer to the side of my throne, eyes catching the sight of a tissue held towards me. Without looking up, I took it from him, some of the beads around my fingers rolling along my skin when I touched his hand. _He cares, because he loves you. _Again, I had to shake my head at my inner voice. He cared, because he had to.

I cleaned Noctis face and saw him sigh, heavy eyelids falling close. None of us could imagine how exhausted this little guy was. The used tissue had been handed back to my shield and I tried to focus on the last bit of the preaching, waiting for the big moment where I would be able to honor my mother. King Regis stood up when the last words of the priests had been spoken. I did the same and let Noctis down to his feet, holding his hand. At least, he was too tired to let out any cry of protest that he had to walk on his own. My father walked down the stairs and we followed. Clarus walked beside Noctis, keeping an eye on the boy who could be clumsy sometimes. My shield was beside me and I noticed that he was wearing a formal Crownsguard uniform, the silver buttons on his shoulders reflecting the light coming through the windows. It was a warm sunny day. My mother would have loved that.

We went outside, where the people of Lucis were waiting in the forecourt. All of them wanted to bid farewell to their beloved Queen. The windows of the throne room had been opened, so everyone would be able to see what would happen outside. My father stepped aside, his eyes laying on me and I gave him a nod. I was ready. My hand pulled Noctis closer to him and to my surprise, the King picked up the Prince, holding him up against his hip. The ghost of a smile tugged on my lips when I saw how my brother was snuggling against the chest of his father. I walked down a few steps more, reaching the platform beneath the one the others were standing on, only Cor standing close to me. The people looked up, awaiting me to start.

Eyes fell onto my mother’s ring on my finger, sighing softly. Other than my father and me, my mother didn’t hold any magical power within herself. All of it laid in this jewel that he gave her. It wasn’t meant for any offensive attack, but for protection and entertainment. There was one thing she always used to do on our national holiday, having named it: The Tears Of Shiva. I really hoped that I would be able to summon this spell.

Upper arms close to my body and my hands had been lifted up at my shoulder’s height, palms facing the sky. My eyes closed, lashes brushing along the thin fabric of the veil. My lips lightly moving, speaking my prayers to the gods and kings. A soft breeze brushed along my cheeks and I could see the sky darkening through my lids. Heavy steps coming from behind me, the coffin bearers already bringing my mother down the stairs. The wind became stronger, carrying the amazed voices of the people. I opened my eyes again and watched the magical spectacle. Frozen rain, a drop not bigger than a speck of dust, fell from the sky. Sparkling like diamonds in the rays of the sun. I stepped aside to free the way for those who carried my mother’s coffin to the carriage. On the right side were two of her eldest brothers and on the left close friends of my father. The king wasn’t able to carry her anymore, but he walked right behind them. My brother still on his arms and I followed after him.

They put the coffin carefully onto the carriage and my father stepped closer, placing his hand onto the top. I could hear his voice, but not his words when he said goodbye to my mother. His hand had been pulled away and placed onto Noctis’ back. He was sleeping peacefully on his arm. My father leaned his head against that of his child and I saw a single tear running down his face as his eyes closed. I lowered my head, looking at the ground. What’s the meaning of love if it caused so much pain? What’s the meaning of life, if it ended so quick?

A palm, so warm, touched my cheek and I looked up to find my father’s eyes on me. His smile was sad, yet could I feel that he was proud of me. I thought I would have no tears left, but then he pulled me closer to him and I felt his lips on my forehead. I cried. How long have I yearned for this fatherly love?

“I will be with you. Always.”

I nodded and leaned into the soft embrace of my father, leaning my forehead against his shoulder. _Let’s hope, he’ll keep his promise._

The carriage had been away and the crowd had been replaced by reporters and their television crew. My father had sent Noctis and me back inside, not wanting use to appear on TV on a day like this. He was used to it and didn’t mind to speak his usual speech to the cameras. Just like a king would.

I carried Noctis in my arms and walked towards my room where one of the nannies was waiting already. Cor opened the door and all of us entered, but I asked them to stay at the door when I would lay him down onto my bed. I took off his shoes carefully and pulled the blanket over him, leaning down to place a kiss onto his cheek.

“Aeta?”

Noctis’ eyes were still closed when he spoke, nuzzling the side of his face into the pillow.

“What is it, my love?”

A tiny hand moved blindly up to my face, fingers touching my cheek before holding onto the side of my face.

“No mo’ kwaing. Mommy be sad”

He patted my cheek as if he wanted to comfort me and I bit onto my lip, swallowing a sob so no one would hear it. I took a quick breath through my nostrils, kissing the side of his head.

“Okay, baby.”

Noctis nodded and moved his arm onto the blanket, sighing himself into sleep. I stood up and turned around to leave my room again.

“Please, make sure he won’t fall off the bed”

The nanny nodded and bowed quickly. I heard how my shield closed the door to my room as soon as we stepped outside. My hand reached out for the stony balustrade that separated the corridor from a small garden at its center. I leaned against my arm, my other hand placed on my stomach when I tried to breath my grief away. My sigh was shaky and I hated myself for not being able to keep my countenance.

“Can I do anything for you?”

Cor’s voice was silent and careful. The choice to not address me neither by my position nor name showed me that he wasn’t sure how to act around me at the current situation. His question spun in my head.

“Turn back the time for me, so I can right my wrongs.”

Of course my request wasn’t serious, but that was all I could think of. I moved my head up, looking at the big lonely tree in the garden whose crown was covering the bench in a shadow. Even this old wooden plant had a purpose while I didn’t find out what mine was. Both of my hands found their place on the balustrade now, stepping closer to it.

“I’ve never thought about death before. My mother left us, but she will be reminded as a kind-hearted Queen, a loving and understanding mother and a loyal wife. She was the warmth within those cold walls.”

Cor came closer, leaning back against the stony rail and I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t expect him to say something as he already lent me his ear.

“Have you ever asked yourself what would be left of you if you’d be gone? I’ve caused nothing but sorrow and worry. I’ve achieved nothing. Memories so poor that I’d be forgotten before someone could remember.”

Maybe I was saying too much and maybe he didn’t really care what I’ve said, but I had to get it off my chest. Deep inside of me, I wished I would be more like my mother or my father…or even like both. My arm flinched when he took my hand into his, eyes falling onto his gentle grip when his thumb brushed along the beads around my fingers.

“You’re fooled by your own mind. Those who know you, who are dear to you and who love you will always remember and honor you. Beside that, stories only hold the truth of its teller. They’re calling me The Immortal for my bravery and my survival of Gilgamesh’s trial, but no one speaks out that I’ve been terrified and that I’m still alive because the Blademaster let me go. People will remind lies, but some others will keep the truth in their memories and that’s what matters the most.”

It actually made me smile thinking about it. He was right and I had to confess that he was right in so many things. The realization didn’t bring me relief, but I knew I should listen to him sometimes.

“You were shaking like a leaf. Everyone was celebrating your success while you seemed so lost. The emptiness in your eyes was upsetting”

“Yeah, but a little princess came running to me and brought me back to reality. Sometimes the smallest gesture could heal the biggest wounds”

_Sometimes the smallest gesture could cause the most painful wounds. _I wanted to say it, but all I did was nodding my head. The smile on my face vanished, when I had to be brought back to reality as well.

“You have been right and I think I am slowly understanding it. Not to a point of acceptance, but no one said it would be easy.”

I moved my head up, looking into his eyes but keeping mine still covered.

“See this private talk and our joint reminisce as our last one. I cannot stop loving you, when we’re so close.”

My hand moved away from his and I turned away from him. _Don’t go away. You cannot do this. _Ignoring my inner voice, I knew this was the best both of us and this was probably what he wanted as well. At a day like this, nothing could make me feel worse anymore. I had to let him go, even if it meant to ignore my own feelings. I pushed the door handle to open the door, turning my head lightly to speak to him once again, keeping my voice stern.

“I’ll go and take some rest. You’ll be called if needed. Until then, Marshal”

_Goodbye, my love. Listen to my heart shattering. Don’t pick up the pieces. Leave them there, as no shards will ever fit together again._


	6. Both sides of the coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dangerous mission and they decide to send out their best man: Cor Leonis. Aeterna isn't a big fan of the idea and even though she wanted to keep her distance to her shield, she still worried about him. Her words of protest became unheard and she would do everything to make sure that he would keep his promise to come back. Sometimes a princess is nothing more than a warrior in a royal dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

It had been weeks since my mother’s funeral. I’ve spent most of my time at my father’s side. He involved me into every meeting, any negotiation and even let me sit with him at the council of war. He taught me what he knew about politics and the conduct of war. On the counterpart of my successful intake and his recognition of my skills, I received more freedom. I could choose my own training module and had been allowed to leave Insomnia, to test my expertise. Cor had been removed from my routine for now. No one asked for the reason as I told them that I needed more than just one challenge. Because of my new position in the castle, I hadn’t have much time to spend it with my baby-brother, but allowed him to spent most nights at my bed. I told him fairy tales or sung him into sleep. For me, he was still the center of my life and those evenings were holy to me.

As for Cor; he kept the distance I asked him for. He was always around and his eyes never left me, but I tried to keep mine away from him. Did it still hurt to see him? Yes. Did my feelings for him weakened? No. It was frustrating and I put all of it into the battles. My hunter rank rose quickly to four stars and I gained myself an appellation; The Reaper. I promised my father to never show my face to anyone and I never left the walls of Insomnia without my mask. My condition was going alone without my shield, as just his presence would reveal who I was. We agreed on one day at the week. I didn’t contradict, knowing that Cor would if he could.

“Titan, the Archean, steadfast as stone. Ramuh, the Fulgurian, sharp as lightning. Shiva, the Glacian, gentle as snow. Leviathan, the Hydraean, relentless as tides. Bahamut, the Draconian, unbedning as iron. Ifrit, the Infernian, fickle as fire. Since time immemorial, they have watched over Eos.”

I turned the page of an old book to point at the picture of the god when saying their names, showing them to Noctis. We sat on the bed. My brother laid close beside me and had his head on my chest, placing a hand onto the book to take a closer look at the beautifully drawn pictures. The sudden sound of a siren made him look up, dark brows pushed up when he stared out of the windows. I was slowly getting used to it as it chimed a few days a week. Rumors said Niflheim created a new threat and the people called them magitek assassins as you only saw them, when they killed someone. I haven’t seen one yet and assumed that our killer was one of our own; a citizen from Insomnia who went mad. Maybe there were more and maybe they were rebels. Just because we were secured from any danger coming from the outside, didn’t safe us from the one coming from the inside. My father was worried as we received threatening letters, but I saw them as a joke. No one would warn you if he really intended to kill you. However, the security levels had been raised.

Noctis and I looked at the door almost at the same time, waiting for someone to come in like it always happened when the siren went on. It finally swung open, a second later than two days before and Cor came in. My hand reached already up to turn on the lamp on the headrest since the next step would be him turning the lights off. -Click- On and off almost at the same time. He walked over to the chair that stood in front of the windows, turning it to the side so he could keep an eye on the roofs outside. My eyes found their way back to the book and Noctis turned the page already so I could continue.

“Titan, God of Earth. Legends tell of the Archaean absorbing the force of the cataclysmic Meteor as it hurtled down to Eos. He still shoulders the stone in his deep sleep within the Disc.”

The picture showed Titan how he was holding the comet up with his arms. His tiny hand grabbed the bottom of the book to tilt it up, so he could move it closer to him.

“He’s pwetty stwong. Yes.”

Noctis nodded to himself to confirm his discovery and a hand brushed up the book so I could hold it properly again. My fingers combed through his dark hair and I watched him yawn, all limbs pulled up to him when he curled up in my arm.

“Time to sleep, hm?”

Big blue eyes rolled up to look at me and I returned the gaze, telling him with just one look that I won’t discuss it with him. Tiny hands pulled up the blanket and he pushed himself under it, tugging it up under his chin while sliding down into a laying position. Puckered lips had been held up to me and I placed a kiss on them, wishing him silently good night before turning the lamp off. I climbed out of the bed and placed the book onto the nightstand, the moonlight bright enough to let me see in the dark. The sirens went silent already a while ago, but Cor was still staring out of the window and I walked over to the other chair at my windows, a small table between us where I put my legs up on.

“What happened that you have to stay for the night? You’re usually out of the room as soon as the sirens are off”

My voice just a whisper and I looked out of the window as well, but I was just avoiding to look at him.

“One of the guards had been attacked”

“Killed?”

“Injured”

“Seriously?”

“Just a few bruises”

“Front or back entrance?”

“Back.”

“Caught him?”

“Wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise”

“Sure”

I pulled my legs back and let my feet onto the ground to stand up, walking over to the chest that stood at the end of my bed. The lid opened, my hand reached for a blanket and I closed it as silent as I could. Next steps made on tiptoes, walking over to Cor again and I shoved the cover against his chest rather roughly. It caused his hand to bounce up and land on mine, his face turned to me while my eyes caught the sight of his.

“Good night, Marshal”

“Good night, your highness”

He didn’t remove his hand and I knew that he must have noticed. My hand slipped out from under his when I turned to my bed, trying to forget how pleasant his touch could be. I laid down beside my sleeping brother, turning my back to the windows and bringing my arm close to the small body. My eyes fell close, not having slept since two days and exhaustion hit me instantly.

_-smack-_

I twitched when a tiny arm hit me right in the face, opening my eyes with knitted brows. My hand moved my involuntary alarm clock away from me, carefully not to wake my brother who laid on his back, arms and legs stretched out like a starfish. Slow movements had been made when I climbed off the bed. Only tiptoes touched the ground while I made my way around the bed, wanting to head for the bathroom, but had been reminded that someone else was still in my bedroom. Cor’s back was facing me, his arm propped up against the table and his head in his palm. I leaned to the side and could see that his eyes were closed. How could someone sleep in such an uncomfortable position?

The blanket laid still folded on his lap and I stepped beside him, still doing my best to wake none of them both. I took the blanket and laid it onto the table, my hand slipping gently between the side of his face and palm, to hold his head up while reaching for his wrist. His arm placed on the table, I let his head down slowly, stopping every time he let out the tiniest noise. My palm brushed along stubbles, feeling a light tickle on my skin whilst his cheek finally touched the temporary pillow. _He looks cute, when he sleeps. _My hand smacked my forehead inaudible as I turned around quickly, moving towards the bathroom. Cheeks flushed and I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palm to distract me from any thought about him.

A quick cold shower woke me up and I walked through the side door which led into my dressing room, servants waiting to dress me up. I heard voices through the wall and knew that the Nanny picked up Noctis already, Cor probably leaving as well. That was good. I had an early meeting with my father and a few of his consultants anyways.

They had started without me already, a loud discussion going on when I entered the meeting room and sat down beside my father at the round table. The king silenced the others with a move of his hands, everyone looking at him while he sat back.

“The new base of Niflheim at our borders is hidden on purpose. If the threat is coming from them, I am sure that we will find answers within those walls. An attack will not provide any answers, only helping them to keep them from us. I am still holding onto the plan to send one of us out to gain some information before we will decide what our next step will be”

Again the others became louder, protesting against my fathers words. I tried to understand what they were talking about and noticed that Clarus was pushing a few papers along the table towards me and I took them, thanking him with a quick nod. Pictures made with an infrared camera, showing a highly secured building. Notes telling how many guards and people were protecting the fortress, where it was located and stating how many levels the building had. I studied the 3D-scans and chewed on the inside of my lower lip when I noticed something.

“It’s a laboratory”

Thoughts spoken out silently and only my father turned his head to me, seeing his eyebrow pushed up in the corner of my eye. He lifted his hand again and beside a few murmurs, the consultants went silent.

“What did you say?”

My head moved up from the notes and I saw that everyone was looking at me. I placed a few of the notes in front of my father in a specific order, to show him what I meant. Up on my feet I bend over the table, a finger following my words along the photographs.

“Most magitek soldiers are guarding the external area, just a few inside. You have so many unarmored people within the building and then we have the power generator here. It’s too small to provide enough energy for the whole structure, so I assume that the rest of it is hidden in a level below the ground, our cameras probably unable to go through. They are not stupid and know that we have an eye on them already, so the area below this one will be protected with an additional magnetic field or even a shield that causes a signal interference. The formation of those people just doesn’t add up to me.”

“A meeting?”

I shook my head at one of the consultants, turning the picture to him.

“If you look closely, they are not standing nor sitting. They are laying on something. I don’t think this is a sleeping area, since they are laying with their heads to each other, around something I can’t identify yet”

They were nodding and it seemed that they understood what I was trying to show them. The military adviser stood up and looked at the King, my eyes laying on the old man sitting opposite of me. There was a mixture of disappointment and relief laid in his eyes.

“My King, your highness, if this turns out to be right, the plan to gather information first sounds good to me, but please note that this operation won’t be easy, especially not for only one man, but I have faith in you and will be on the spot if you need me”

My father thanked him with a nod and I did the same. He sat down and the notes had been pushed together and put away, to go to the next subject: new delivery routes and the training of new guards. I leaned back in my chair as only my listening was required.

The meeting ended and we stood up, everyone about to leave the room.

“I have to speak to you, Aeterna”

I looked at my father and nodded, wondering what he wanted from me. He waited until the others left and Clarus closed the door, standing beside it.

“Our arrangement about your time outside these walls is put on hold. I would like to ask you to wait in your room until your new guards arrive. They will escort you for the next few days.”

I furrowed my brows. Why is the arrangement put on hold and why new guards? What was he talking about? My head was spinning when I tried to pass the last few hours in review. They were talking about one man who should scout out the laboratory or base or whatever they wanted to call it. Hands clenched fists again, lightly hidden under the sleeves of my dress.

“Are you telling me that you’re sending Marshal Leonis on this mission? My shield?”

My father was surprised by my reaction as he finally noticed that I hadn’t been here from the beginning of the meeting. I was angry, but tried to hide it behind a stern face, he was still able to see it in my eyes. A sigh fell from his lips when he leaned against his cane.

“He is the only one who can do it on his own. I cannot risk anyone else to be caught and alarm the empire.”

I let a sarcastic chuckle become audible, shaking my head at my father. I couldn’t believe that he would risk the life of one of our best men; my shield.

“We know nothing about this institution. Who knows what they’re hiding at the underground levels. If he gets caught, he might say nothing, but they will get rid of him. This mission is suicidal.”

“I have faith in Cor Leonis and you should as well. You’re worrying too much.”

“No, I’m just considering both sides of the coin.”

“He already accepted.”

“Great. Thanks for asking me as well”

“Aeta, don’t…”

I lifted my hand and stopped him from talking, turning around to leave the room. I heard my father sigh again, but he didn’t say anything anymore. Clarus opened the door for me. Surprise about my leave laid in his eyes, but a strange smile tugged on his lips as if he knew where I would go now. Fingers curled into the fabric of my skirt. Heart beat at a quicker pace. Chest moved up and down heavily. The door behind me fell close and I started to run. The sound of my heels echoed against the walls when I ran down the corridor, turning around a corner here and there, feet carrying me down the stairs. The last few steps had been skipped and my head turned to the right, then to the left, but I couldn’t see anyone yet. I continued to run down the dark hallway to my right and I finally found him. Even though I was racing, it felt like he was walking away faster, making me worry that I wouldn’t reach him on time.

“Cor, wait!”

He stopped abruptly and turned around. I slowed down, trying to calm down before approaching him. My whole face was pulsating in the rhythm of my racing heart and I did my best to calm my breathing. Cor made a few steps towards me. I knew he could see that I was panting, having looked for him through half of the castle and my nervousness wasn’t helping my condition. My hand found its place on the center of my chest, secretly hoping to hide my heartbeat from him. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to tell him.

“What happened?”

His hands moved closer to me, close to my arms already but stopped when my hand moved from my chest to his. Eyes locked when I looked up at him.

“I just heard that you’re leaving for a mission”

“Yes…”

No explanation. No excuse. Cor’s arms lowered to his sides and he fought the urge to look away from me. My teeth brushed along my lower lip and my eyebrows knitted, feeling how they were twitching lightly.

“Why didn’t you talk to me first, before deciding to leave?”

“Because I thought this wouldn’t matter to you”

“It obviously does”

“Why?”

He made a step closer to me, my hand still on his chest and my arm forced to bend a bit. I was able to feel his heartbeat, the rate going up, but his face didn’t betray why.

“Because you’re meant to stay here and protect me”

“You’re lying. You don’t need me. Try again.”

Cor’s eyebrows knitted lightly and the beating against my palm became quicker again. I made a step back, surprised by his words. I wanted to pull my hand back but his snapped up, holding mine to keep it where it was.

“I…d-don’t…”

I had to take a deep breath to stop my stuttering. Couldn’t he just accept what I’ve said?

“I’m worried about you. I’m afraid you won’t come back…to me.”

My voice became thinner at each words leaving my lips and I looked down, letting my hand slip out of his when I made another step back.

“Just come back alive, please”

I turned around, not daring to look at him again when I walked away. Hiding my grief about his departure and the fact that I didn’t want him to. I also didn’t want to tell him goodbye since it made it sound so…irreversible. A step close to me, a hand on my wrist and I had been pulled back. My body turned again and his arms laid around me, holding me in a tight embrace. I felt his head right beside mine, his breath warm against my ear.

“I promise, I’ll come back.”

My arms moved up and around him, allowing this short loving moment to happen. This was the first time that it was him who approached me. I wanted to enjoy his warmth, his breaths and his sweet words that were meant for me, even if it didn’t last long. Cor stood up straight again and looked down at me, a soft smile gracing his lips. His hand moved down my arm until he reached the back of my hand, holding my palm up. The other hand reached into the pocket of his jacket and he placed something into my hand, closing my fingers around it.

“Don’t get yourself into trouble while I’m away. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back.”

My closed hand had been brought up to his lips and Cor kissed my fingers. He made a few steps backwards before turning around and walking away. I’ve been left confused and surprised, having my hand still up. My body like frozen. I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. What I was allowed to feel and what not. Fingers opened and revealed a communicator, the clip around the ear decorated with golden ornate jewelry, making it almost look like an earring. This smart asshole. When did he plan to give it to me anyways? I was pretty sure that it wasn’t meant for himself. I brushed my hair behind my ear and put the communicator on, heading back towards my room as I’ve been told to.

———-Four Days Later———-

Noisy country music played in the radio of a truck, barely audible when the wheels rolled over the stony path of the outback. I sat on a provisional bench in the back, feeling the warm wind coming through the open tarp that served as a cover for the loading area. I cleaned the blood and dirt from my sword with a cloth, seeing the reflection of my mask in the silver blade. Opposite of me sat a young redneck, new to the hunter business but a very talented gunslinger who went by the name Kit. He was the younger brother of our driver, Boba, a heavyset hunter who had the same rank as me. We teamed up when I sneaked out of the palace two days ago. The new guards were amateurs and easily tricked. Other than those two guys who were with me. We’ve been already in the depth of the old ruins and hunted down the Jabberwock, its head laying frozen in the chest beside me, but we were still heading west.

“Yer sure yer comrade still ‘ere?”

Boba turned his head lightly to the side to scream through the small window on the back of his seat and I looked up, seeing the reflection of his eyes in the rear mirror.

“Hope so”

“Blinking dot’s movin’, so he’s at least alive, aye?”

His raspy chuckle was louder than any other sound surrounding us, making me smile under my covering cape.

“Almost therr, folks, but we’re not alone. Fuckin’ airship 'ere as well”

Kit’s and my head jerked up and I pushed my blade into its sheath, attached to the side of my belt before standing up. I ran to the back, my hand grabbing one of the handles on the side before swinging half of my body out, eyes in the sky. There it was and it seemed to slow down. To stop for us, it was too far away and I assumed that they spotted someone else.

“Hold ya asscheeks tight, this’ll be a bumpy trip down da hills”

Kit grabbed me by my belt and pulled me back inside, making me fall onto the bench beside him with a rough bump. We slid down the wooden plank as soon as the truck’s nose pointed downwards. My foot moved up, the heel hitting the back of the driver’s cabin so I wouldn’t crush Kit. One of my gloved hands held onto the crossbar above me, my head heavy from the pressure caused by high speed and the steep pitch of the vehicle. Kit didn’t speak much and grinned amused, holding up an okay sign with his hand. This wasn’t really calming.

With a loud crush and a heavy bump, we reached normal ground again. I pulled myself up on my arm, swinging myself to the window of the driver’s cabin and pulled it completely open. I was able squeeze my upper body through it, to have a better view out of the front window. Magitek Soldiers jumped out of the airship and were already shooting at someone behind the hill. My hand hit Boba’s shoulder and I pointed to the left side where it seemed safe for now.

“To the left. I’ll jump off when close enough. You don’t interfere until you see that you’re needed. Let me check that first.”

“Aye, aye, captain”

A maniac laugh fell from his lips when he turned the steering wheel, making me almost lose my balance when I pushed myself back into the loading area. I pointed at Kit’s belt and signalized him with a movement of my fingers that he should give me one of his guns. He had like four attached to his belt and two shotguns in a holster on his back. He could lend me one for a minute. The younger made a face but gave me one of the handguns and I hid it behind the rim of thigh high boots. I walked to the back, hand holding onto the handle on the side and showed a peace sign to Kit over my shoulder before jumping out of the truck. I allowed myself a short warp so I wouldn’t break a bone when landing on the ground. Crouched in the high grass, I moved over the hill and could see someone running, immediately noticing that it was Cor. I clicked my tongue and stood up, running towards him. He held his Katana in his hand but the other held onto something under his black coat. Why wasn’t he fighting? What was worth to be held while he was attacked?

Down the hill my steps were quicker and I jumped onto a high rock, pushing myself up further and pulled the gun out. Finger on the trigger I fired my first rounds at the MTs who were right behind him. My body turned in the air and I landed beside the Marshal. A free hand grabbed the hilt of my sword to pull it out, continuing my killing spree without paying attention to Cor right now. My blade slit its way through armored soldiers and the gun kept them at a distance, shooting into their legs or heads. I overrated myself with the amount as more were coming at me, too bad for them that they were in line. Boba drove the truck right through them and only slowed down when being close to me. I lifted a hand and fingers grabbed the handle, jumping up onto the safe loading area. I knelt down and held my arm out when we passed Cor.

“Too fast!”

My voice pushed to its limits so the diver would hear me and he slowed down a bit more so the Marshal was able to catch up. His hand grabbed my arm and mind grabbed his before he jumped up. I pulled him inside, Kit taking a hold of the Marshal’s coat to help me. I fell back and hit against the driver’s cabin. My hand moved up and I knocked against the window

“Bring us out of here, Boba”

“Bet I will”

A tired chuckle fell from my lips and I pushed myself up onto my feet, walking to the bench before dropping myself onto it. Cor sat opposite of me while Kit took his place on the chest with our expensive cargo, guarding it like a watchdog. I took the pistol I got from him and returned it but throwing it towards the young hunter. He saluted as a thanks and leaned back. My eyes moved to Cor and his icy hues were punishing me already, but my main attention laid on what was hidden underneath his coat. I leaned forward but before I could say a word, he rose his voice first.

“How the hell did you find me?”

I reached for the side of my hood and pulled it back to reveal the communicator around my ear. His eyes blinked very slowly while he shook his head. A thank you wouldn’t hurt him at all. A finger pointed at his arm that was holding his coat close and he looked down, knowing what I wanted to ask but he didn’t reveal the secret yet.

“What is it that you’ve risked your life for it?”

I could see that he was hesitating to show it, his eyes wandering to Kit who had his head leaned back, eyes closed. There was still mistrust that the other might see it. Fingers slide along the rim of his coat, pulling it lightly open but the view for the others was still covered. I still couldn’t see anything until dropping down onto my knees and leaning closer to him. My eyes widened and eyes shot up to look at Cor again.

“Oh my god. That’s a…”

He nodded and closed his coat again, shielding it with both hands now. This changes everything. I stood up again and my hand pushed Kit to the side so I could lean into the driver’s cabin again.

“Boba. Change of plans. Will leave ya a bit earlier than planned. Bring me to the old hunting hut at the Bypass over here”  
My finger pointed at his navigation system to mark it as our next target. Boba looked at me confused and I placed my hand onto his shoulder, patting it roughly.

“You saved my ass and that of my friend. I owe you. All I can do is give you my stake of the bounty. We’re good?”

“Ya sure, yer make it from 'ere alone?”

“I am”

He gave me a nod and I moved to the back, sitting on the bench again. I couldn’t take my eyes off Cor’s coat.

The truck stopped and I let Cor go out first before I jumped out as well. Kit and I said goodbye with a quick fist bump. I was sure we would see each other again. I waved at Boba when they drove off, watching them disappear in the setting sun. My hand touched the hilt of my sword to let it disappear and I could finally take off my mask. The back of my hand rubbed the base of my nose while I hooked the mask to my belt, making my way towards Cor.

“So you also knew where I would hide the car?”

“It was a guess, yes, but I also knew that you cannot carry **it** around all night long. We should go inside the cabin. I light a fire and you tell me what you plan to do with **it**.”

I couldn’t even speak it out, my lips trembling in shock. He followed me inside the old hunter’s hut and I walked straight towards the fireplace, throwing some of the old dusty logs into it. A flame appeared in my palm when I held it against the wood, watching it burn. My eyes closed for a moment, my hand pulling down the cape from my lips and I felt the warmth of the blaze on my skin. Ears twitched when wooden planks of the floor squeaked beneath Cor’s heavy boots, hearing him sitting down on the couch behind me. When my eyes opened I could see the dust particles coming from his direction. I stayed on my knees when I turned around, moving closer to Cor until I was able to take a look into his coat again. He let me open it and I still couldn’t believe what I saw. It was a little child about the age of Noctis. The boy had blond hair and wore white rompers. After all this, he was still sleeping peacefully against Cor’s chest, a hand in front of the tiny face while lips were closed around his thumb. I brought my hand up to it, pulling down the sleeve as I saw something sticking to his skin. Eyebrows knitted when I noticed what it was; a bar code tattooed on his skin. Who could do something like that to a child?

“I couldn’t leave him there”

I looked up at Cor and nodded, pulling the sleeve back over the mark on the boy’s wrist. There was no doubt that I would have done the same, but…what should we do now? What did he plan to do with him?


	7. Someday - Part 1 - Pillow Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cor saved a child from Niflheim's research facility and now he and Aeterna have to think what to do with him. They cannot take him to the palace and expect the king to take care of a child that is the clone of an imperial research minister. They also have to look out to not get attached to the boy asthis would cause much more trouble than they are in already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

The crackling sound of the burning wood filled the cabin with a soothing melody. Cor and I were silent, not speaking as both of us were in thoughts. Thoughts about the little guy in his arm. I stood up and took off my cape, spreading half of it onto the side of the couch. Back at Cor, I leaned down and slipped my arm carefully under the child’s body before lifting him up. He was incredibly warm and light, his cute face wincing but eyes didn’t open. I laid him down onto the prepared piece of clothing, wrapping the other half around him so he would be kept warm. Cor took his coat off and hissed lightly when pulling it off his shoulders, causing me to look at him.

„You hurt?“

He was up on his feet and laid the long part of his uniform over the backrest, trying to avoid my question. Hands moved up to let fingers brush through the short brown hair, his tight shirt allowing me to see more than just a muscular body. It was ripped right under his left arm, but the fabric was barely covered in blood. Maybe just a grazing shot? My hand moved to his side, my head lightly tilted to avoid getting accidentally hit by his arm. He flinched as soon as I tugged on the ripped part, trying to see anything within the soft light coming from the fireplace.

“It’s nothing. Just a scratch.”

“You wouldn’t move a muscle at a scratch”

I rolled my eyes and noticed that he was still holding his arm up, so I brought my hands to the end of his shirt to pull it up a bit. The skin looked like cut and burned, which would explain why there was no blood leaking. It looked bad, but it was good that there was no bullet stuck in him. Giving a nod to myself, I pulled his shirt back down and sat down on the ground. My back leaned against the sofa, a leg pulled up so I could rest my arm on it. Eyes laid on the dancing flames in the fireplace. Cor sat down on the couch again, hands brushing along his thighs while he let out an audible sigh. We both had so many questions to ask, but where should we start? Who would ask the first one?

“What kind of child is he?”

I did. Cor leaned forward, arms on his knees while hands folded between them. I could see his face lit up by the fire, a tongue running along his lips as he thought about the answer. What did he find out? Maybe this was the question I should have asked first.

“It’s a research center. At least that’s how they call it. I could gather some information about what they are doing in there and it seems that they are cloning humans from Verstael, trying to demonify them and create the perfect soldiers. Trying this procedure with elder test objects, the soldiers were suffering ego death and were unable to fight. So they started using infants. This little guy’s cells have been diversified and they wanted to get rid of him since he wasn’t the perfect clone that they expected him to be.”

Hearing this, made me feel sick. I didn’t even know something like that would be even possible, but the magical technology of Niflheim was beyond our imagination.

“You saved him, but what are you planning to do with him?”

Cor moved his hands up to his face, brushing the tiredness from it while he let out a silent sigh.

“I might have a plan, but would need to make a call. It’s already late and I don’t want to wake anyone up. We’ll see tomorrow”

I nodded, wondering what this plan might be about. I didn’t ask, hearing the weariness in his voice already. He was gone for about four days and I couldn’t imagine that he found any sleep in that time. His face disappeared from my view when he leaned back and soon I heard heavy breaths. I looked at him and saw his eyes were closed already, arms crossed on his chest. It made me smile to see him asleep again. His features became soft and he didn’t look so serious anymore. I bend my other leg as well and hugged both with my arms, resting my chin between them. Questions rushed through my mind, about how many infants must be in that lab and how many have been killed already. I also asked myself what would have happened and we wouldn’t have found Cor and the child when they were under attack. Could it be fate? My eyes fell close and I told myself I would just rest them for a moment, but the warmth and soothing light made me realize how tired I was. A gasp fell from my lips when I thought about the child that was laying on the couch behind me. What if he falls? I turned around and sat on my legs, bringing my arms onto the edge of the seat to place my head on them. If he’d move, I’ll notice. It was a natural instinct I had since Noctis was sleeping in my bed. I missed my little brother right now, but knew that he was in good hands. This little guy had no one and needed someone who would take care of him.

The chirping of birds woke me up from a deep sleep. I could feel my head hammering at the unusual noise coming from outside. A heavy weight laid on my shoulders and when my eyes opened, I saw that Cor’s coat was laying on me. One of my arms was stretched out and I felt tiny hands on my fingers. For a moment I thought Noctis would be laying in front of me, but when I lifted my head, I caught the view of blond hair. He laid on his back and examined my hand with his, chubby cheeks moving when he was breathing audible. Suddenly his head turned to the side and big bright hues looked at me

“Hey”

He flashed a bright smile, causing me to return a tired one.

“Hai”

I chuckled and brought my hand to his side, fingers caressing the soft skin on the side of his face. He was so incredibly sweet that I fell in love with this little guy the moment he looked at me. I couldn’t see anything bad in those eyes nor in the sweet smile on his lips. He looked like a normal kid.

“Did you sleep well?”

His almost invisible eyebrows moved up, surprised by my question but he nodded hesitantly.

“Yes”

I gave him a nod and had to stand up, my legs already hurting in my current position. Eyes wandered to the place where Cor was sitting at, but it was empty. Half way up my legs, I felt like the boy’s hands were holding mine firmly. I looked down at him and saw blue eyes filling with tears.

“Don’ go”

A stifled sob escaped the child’s lips and it broke my heart that he thought I would leave him. I couldn’t imagine what he had been through, but fear was laying on his face. Shaking my head, I reached for the coat with my free hand and put it over the backrest of the sofa, sitting down at the spot where Cor was sitting on before. The small one sat up and rubbed his eyes with one hand, the other still holding mine tightly. I didn’t plan to let this child get used to me too much nor get emotionally attached to me, but I wasn’t able to push him away. Still, I shouldn’t be the one he would see as a caregiver. _But look at that face. Who wouldn’t be able to love him? _The blonde boy pulled himself up to his feet, steps wobbly on the soft cushions when he walked towards me. My other hand moved quickly beside him, so I would be able to catch him if he’d fall. His hand let go of mine before he let himself fall against me, tiny arms wrapped around my neck and head placed on my shoulder. My hand moved onto his back instinctively, rubbing it gently. The front door went open with a creak. The boy flinching and dropping himself into my lap, my arms catching him as I noticed that he tried to hide behind them. I saw that Cor was coming in, arms full of bags as he kicked the door close again. He came to us, putting everything on the ground and pushed my cape aside, before sitting down beside me. The hands of the boy pulled my arm down so he could take a look at who came in, recognizing Cor immediately.

“I know someone who will take care of him when we’re back in Insomnia.”

Cor leaned down to one of the bags and I noticed the boy wanted to move towards him, but I grabbed his arms and sat him down on the couch between us. His curious eyes watched the Marshal taking out a paper bag before a sweet bun had been handed to him. Grabby hands took it with a big smile, his face almost disappearing in the big pastry when he took a bite. Cor handed one to me as well and I took it with a quick nod for a thanks.

“A short thanks for yesterday wouldn’t hurt, you know?”

I looked at him while pulling my legs up, sitting sideways on the couch to keep an eye on both. Cor leaned back and fingers brushed along the stubbles on his chin.

“You shouldn’t be here anyways at first place”

My eyes rolled at his words.

“You’d be dead if we wouldn’t have come”

“I had the situation under control”

“Yeah, I saw that”

Muscles in his face twitched and he lowered his head a bit. I could see he was watching me in the corner of his eyes. A sigh fell from his lips and I looked down at the boy, who had his mouth full and held his bun up to Cor. Without looking at the child, his big hand grabbed the offered food and held it for the boy.

“How long are you away already?”

I swallowed what I had in mouth and licked my lips, unsure if I should tell him. He knew that we were at least half a day away from Insomnia so lying wouldn’t be an option.

“Now three days?”

My voice silent, my eyes lightly squinted when I saw his eyebrows knitting.

“Haven’t I asked you to stay out of trouble while I’m away?”

I clicked my tongue and stood up, putting my bun back into the paperbag. I’ve just lost my appetite.

“And I told you to come back alive. Guess we’re even”

My hand reached for my cape but Cor kicked one of the bags towards me, looking up.

“Get changed. We have to bring you back to Insomnia as quick as possible without risking anyone to see you. Neither the princess nor the hunter. Not in need of any attention.”

When I picked up the bag, the boys eyes blinked at the loud sound and followed me when I walked away. I walked through a door in the back and closed it, pouring everything from the bag onto an old mattress. Blue jeans, white tanktop, white sneakers and a black scarf which was probably meant to cover a part of my face. I think I’ve never actually worn “normal” clothes before. It took me some time to take off my hunting clothes and change into what he bought for me, noticing quickly that the new stuff fit me like a glove. My hand pulled out every hairpin and rubberband from my hair, letting the unbraided locks fall over my shoulders. Hunter clothes had been squeezed into the bag, so I could throw them into the trunk of the car when we would head back home. I opened the door and heard quick loud steps and cheerful giggles, seeing the boy running around in his new clothes as well. Couldn’t have imagined that Cor was able to change the clothes of a child. The marshal just pulled down his shirt before turning to me. I saw that he was wearing black jeans and a dark blue shirt, not really seeing any difference from what he usually wore. His eyes fell onto the scarf that I held in my hand, but no matter what he wanted to say, I already had an answer ready.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere. I’ll wear it only if I must.”

My feet felt so incredibly light when I walked over to the front door of the hut. The boy ran pass me and I managed to catch the fabric on the back of his green shirt with two fingers to stop him.

“Careful or you’ll fall on your face”

I let him go when he looked up at me and reached for the door handle to open it. The child waited until I was outside before following me to the car that stood now beside the house. Cor went out as well and I could hear the keys rattling in his hand before he unlocked the vehicle. I opened the trunk and threw the heavy bag inside, taking the hand of the boy to step aside when the marshal put the other stuff inside as well, pulling the lid close. Without a word he walked to the driver’s side and sat down behind the steering wheel. As soon as I opened the door on the passenger’s side, I heard him trying to start the engine. Beside a few clicking sounds, the motor stayed silent. I leaned down, seeing him trying it again and again but with no success.

“You’re kidding, right?”

Cor shot me a quick glare before coming out of the car and opening the hood, trying to find out where the problem was. I placed my arm on top of the car door, looking down at the boy who was swinging our arms back and forth. It seemed that nothing could trouble him as he kept a satisfied big smile on his lips.

“I think this will be a long way back home”

“Why?”

The high pitched voice of the boy overlapped Cor’s angry cusses and I shrugged my shoulder, stepping to the side when I swung the door of the car close.

“Because we have to walk”

“I like wa'king”

I chuckled and watched him lift one leg up and then the other, pretending he would make big steps. What an amusing little guy. Cor threw the hood close again before doing the same to the driver’s door, taking my scarf out of the trunk before locking the car. His hand reached out to us, fingers moving to tell us to come and the boy let go of my hand to run towards the marshal. Icy hues met those of the small one and I could see that he hesitated to take the hand of the child, but he did. I took the scarf from his hand and put it around my shoulders, walking towards the street to go across it. We would be much safer if we chose to walk through the grassland, protected by the crash barrier from any car that would drive by. I climbed over it, Cor lifting the boy over the guardrail before stepping over it with ease. The child started to run through the grass with loud happy giggles, hands brushing along the stalks. The marshal walked beside me and it almost felt like a peaceful walk at a warm summer day. The blonde hair of the boy became almost invisible and I was afraid that he would run too far away.

“Noct-”

I silenced myself when I noticed that it was the name of my brother I wanted to call. Did the boy even have a name? Under pressure, I started to run after him and my mind was putting words together, thinking what his name could be. I didn’t just want to let the boy stay nameless. Quick. Fast. Speedy.

“Prompto!”

Best my mind could come up with in the short amount of time, but the boy stopped. He turned around and he just noticed how far he ran away, immediately rushing towards me. I caught him with my hands under his arms, swinging him up into the air while he giggled.

“You can’t just run away”

The laughs didn’t stop and I let him down to his feet again. He walked between Cor and me, always looking back when he started to run again, but slowing down when too far away. Prompto learned quick for his age.

“So you gave him a name…”

“Cannot call him boy or hey all the time”

“Don’t forget that he will not stay with us”

Harsh words coming from him, but I wondered that he said “us”. Maybe I was interpreting more into his words than I should, but it made me think about it. I only let out a soft sigh, knowing that Prompto couldn’t come with us to the palace, even though I wished he could, imagining him playing with Noctis already.

It was getting dark already and we were exhausted from walking without a pause. Cor carried Prompto on his arms and decided that we should stay at a hotel in the closest village. Tomorrow we would reach the train station where we would take the only train going to Insomnia. I wrapped the scarf around my head and hid the lower part of my face behind it, standing beside Cor when he talked to the receptionist. The short old woman flipped the pages in her notebook, pushing her glasses up.

“The only room I can offer is one without an extra bed for a child. Hope it’s okay for you and your wife to share the bed with your son?”

I froze at her words and could hear myself swallowing while my cheeks flushed. The expression on Cor’s face didn’t change and he reached into the pocket of his jeans to pull out his wallet. I positioned myself in front of him and helped him by taking out his money, giving it to the receptionist.

“This’ll do. Thank you. Would it be possible to get some food somewhere?”

Her eyes moved to Prompto, nodding quickly.

“I’ll get you something. Just give me a minute.”

The woman gave us the keys to the hotel room before disappearing in the back. I turned to Cor and gave him the received keys so he and Prompto could go while I wait.

“I’ll be right there”

He nodded and headed towards the building where the bedrooms were. I placed my hand on the counter, leaning against my arm while waiting for the woman to come back. Never have I spent so much time with Cor, yet we didn’t spoke more than usually. He didn’t make sense to me. When he left, he was so sweet and caring that I thought he changed, maybe even considering that “us” could work out, but at the moment he was distant and cold again. I felt like a Yo-yo and he pulled the string that made me go up and down on an emotional spin.

“Here you go, Miss…”

I turned my head when the woman came back with a small box, looking at her notebook again. My hands reached for the box and I saw that she prepared some toothbrushes and paste and a small pillow as well, laying beside three covered plates that smelled like fresh cooked potatoes and meat.

“Oh…I see that I haven’t written down your name. Would you mind to tell me?”

My eyes became big and I needed a minute to come up with something as I couldn’t tell her neither his nor my name. She pushed her eyebrow up when she noticed that I didn’t say it straight ahead.

“Credulus. I’m sorry. We just got married and I still have to get used to his name”

“Congratulations, dear. I, as well, needed some time until I got used to the name of my husband. We’re married for many years and I still catch myself by introducing myself with my maiden name”

She laughed and I did as well, glad that she believed my lies, but I also felt bad to lie to such a sweet old lady like she was. You always meet twice in life and I hoped I could thank her properly for her kindness one day.

“Thank you and have a goodnight.”

“You too, love, you too”

The woman turned around and sat down on a chair, switching the radio on before grabbing her knitting needles and humming the melody that had been played. I walked away with a smile on my face. I never had the chance to enjoy a normal life outside the walls. What I experienced right now was completely different from what I’ve been through when being on a hunt. It seemed that people were happy with what they had and they enjoyed more freedom, able to make their own decisions and mistakes which they could learn from. I wished our journey wouldn’t end so soon.

The room was very small. A bed stood on one side, a commode on the other with a little TV standing on top. Beside it was a table with two chairs and a narrow door that led to the bathroom. Cor was sitting at the table already, Prompto up on one of his legs while clapping his hands when I came in. I put the box onto the ground and took the plates out, arranging them on the table as good as I could before taking the lids of. Warm steam escaped from beneath and Prompto’s eyes followed it up into the air, his lips shaping an amazed “o”. My scarf had been tossed onto the bed. I placed one of the spoons into Cor’s hand as the other was holding the boy. Another smaller spoon had been meant for Prompto and I put some food on it, blowing some air onto the warm mashed potatoes before handing it to him. Confused eyes looked at me and I took his hand to close his fingers around the handle, guiding it to his mouth. He started to swing his legs happily, bouncing lightly up and down on Cor’s thigh. I used the time when he chewed to grab some of the food for myself and the boy watched me closely. His hand reached up and the spoon dove into the mashed potatoes but I could already see that it was too much. As soon as he tried to lift up the scoop, it leaped up and some of it landed behind him right on the side of Cor’s face. I really tried not to laugh, but it burst out of me and I quickly hid my mouth with the back of my hand. He stopped to eat and held his eye closed, not moving anymore. I grabbed a napkin quickly and stood up to wipe his face clean, still chuckling and Prompto did the same. My eyes fell on the blonde sunshine and I shook my head.

“This is not good, okay? We don’t do this anymore.”

Prompto nodded his head and held his spoon towards me.

“Okay. Mo’ pwease”

I took it from him and pointed at Cor, who kept his eyes on his plate.

“You have to say sorry. If not, he will be sad”

Prompto tilted his head back until he could look up at the marshal, his hand patting the arm that was laying around him

“I’m sowee, daddy. Don’ be sad, okay?”

Cor and I looked at each other at the same time, shocked by what we just heard. Both of us didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t give him any device how to react.

“I be good now, okay?”

The little hand brushed along the elder’s arm and he was still looking up at him, waiting for any kind of reaction. I shrugged my shoulders lightly, my head shaking as well as he couldn’t expect me to help him. He looked down at Prompto and I held my breath, curious what he would say to him.

“It’s okay”

I exhaled, surprised by his answer. He didn’t tell the boy that he wasn’t his daddy. Why? Cor continued to eat and I noticed that I was chewing on my lip nervously, unsure what to think of that. I handed Prompto another scoop of food and we continued to eat without talking anymore. This moment felt awkward for Cor and for me. For Prompto, the world was just perfectly fine right now.

The boys had been in the bathroom while I prepared the bed for us, turning the small lamp on the nightstand on and switching off the big one.

“Ew, I don’ like paste”

“You don’t have to eat it, just brush your teeth with it”

“How to do that?”

“Like…wait…let me show you…come here”

Hearing their voices through the door was an entertainment, having heard them discussing something under the shower as well, but sadly I couldn’t understand a word. It must have been an adventure for Cor. The door opened a few minutes later and warm steam was coming from the bathroom before they walked out. The marshal held Prompto up on his arm, both only wearing their underwear and the boy’s skin looked almost white next to Cor’s. I walked over to them when tiny white teeth had been flashed at me, making it easy for me to keep my eyes away from the half naked man. Cor leaned down a little, when Prompto tried to bring his hands to my face.

“Look at this clean little baby”

I couldn’t resist to smother his cute face with quick little kisses and he held onto my cheeks, giggling sweetly. The sweet fresh scent had been inhaled deeply, coming from both of them.

“And you smell so good”

Prompto moved up again and looked at me, a serious expression on his face.

“It’s soap”

Tiny arms crossed on his chest and it reminded me of someone. I looked up at Cor for a second, just to notice him smiling softly.

“Think I need some of that too”

I tickled the side of the boy, just to hear his cute laugh again before walking into the bathroom to wash myself as well.

I found a bathrobe next to the towels and decided to use it as a pajama, not wanting to sleep in the clothes I would have to wear the next day. Exiting the bathroom, my clothes had been placed onto one of the chairs and my steps were silent when I saw that Prompto was sleeping already. He laid prone on Cor, his head resting on the man’s chest. The elder held a book up in his hand while the other was behind his head. This was also something new, I didn’t know he would be reading. I moved to the other side of the bed and laid down on my side, pulling the blanket up above my hip. Eyes fell onto the blurb, curious what he was reading.

_Heaven and Hell: A love not meant to be_

_An enchanting love story, that tells the tale of the god of fire and the goddess of ice and their long burdensome journey to find each other, just to be torn apart by war._

This was surprising, but I assumed it was the only book that he found laying around in the nightstand. My arm slipped under my pillow and my hand reached for Prompto’s hand, stroking it gently with my finger. It was unavoidable to touch Cor at the same time as well, my palm laying on the side of his ribs. His skin was warm, firm while he had his arm up behind his head. My eyes laid on the small fist, watching it move up and down with the breaths of Cor.

“Why didn’t you tell him that you’re not his daddy?”

His chest rose up when he took a deep breath.

“Does he even know what it means?”

My eyebrow moved up and I tilted my head to look up at Cor. His eyes slowly moving along the lines he was reading.

“I think this boy knows more than you think. He is very smart for his age and his pronunciation is better than Nocto’s, even though they are the same age. It is one thing to not know what a father is, but daddy is a child’s creation; it has a deeper meaning and expresses his feelings.”

Cor’s hand pushed the book close and he placed it blindly onto the nightstand before bringing his hand onto the back of Prompto. He turned his head lightly, eyes looking down into mine and I could see that he wasn’t understanding what I tried to tell him. My arm moved out from under my cushion so I could sit up a bit, resting my head against my palm.

“So you assume that he sees a father in me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re giving him the warmth and closeness that makes him feel loved. He feels safe when he’s with you and I am not speaking of you saving him from the facility.”

Cor sighed heavily and looked down at Prompto, brushing his teeth along his lower lip.

“Well, what have I gotten myself into?”

There was so much I wanted to answer to that question and I had to bite my lip not to speak out anything of it. When tiny fingers closed around my index finger, I got distracted, looking at the hand holding my digit. The heart of the boy would be shattered as well, but maybe he will be lucky enough to find healing within a new family. It made me sad just thinking about tomorrow, the last day I would be able to spend with him. My head moved out of my hand and laid down on my upper arm. My eyes closed just to not look at neither of them, even though I could feel their warmth on my skin.

“It’s because you’re a heartbreaker, Cor Leonis. You’re not aware of the love we feel for you”

I realized too late that I said “we”, but I didn’t correct myself as he knew how I felt about him. The lamp had been turned off and Cor moved down to lay on his cushion, my hand moving into the same direction. His arm slid down under mine and I felt how his hand had been placed onto mine, his palm covering the holding fist of Prompto as well. Why was he doing this? This time, I couldn’t just pull away since it would mean to pull away from the boy as well.

“I never meant to hurt you”

His silent whisper made me open my eyes, looking up at the silhouette of his face.

“Then why are you doing it anyways?”

I felt how his grip around my hand became tighter, seeing his lips move while struggling with his own thoughts.

“Why do you think this is easy for me?”

Answering my question with a counterquestion made me feel insecure, assuming he felt the same. I never really thought that this cold behavior might hide the truth about how he felt deep inside of him, but I was just speculating. My body moved closer to his until my cheek leaned on his arm, my free hand reaching up to the side of his head, the back of my fingers gently brushing along the side of his face up to his hair.

“Because you make it look so easy. You just look at me and I’m afraid everyone can see what I feel. Everyone, except for you”

A sound that resembled a chuckle fell from his lips and his hand moved away from me. His arm moved up and I lowered mine when I felt how he was wrapping it around me, even pushing me a bit closer to himself.

“Can’t we just run away and start a new life…somewhere?”

“Don’t think I haven’t taken that into consideration already”

I lifted my head and propped myself up against my arm. This answer didn’t make any sense and didn’t match to what he said to me before. I could see him turning his head and probably looking at me as well.

“But you said that you-”

“I know what I said and I still mean it. I would never turn my back on the King. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t think about it”

Cor’s fingertips brushed along the back of my arm and the delicate touch made me shiver. His words should fill my heart with hope and happiness, yet I felt like being pushed away again. Why was he even telling me that? I was so confused that I was unable to speak anymore. I laid down in his arm again, my head resting on his chest above the sleeping child. Cor’s head turned lightly and I felt his lips against my forehead.

“I cannot risk that they take you away from me, do you understand that? I couldn’t live without you. Even if that means that I cannot be with you the way I wish I could.”

His words touched me deeply and now I could understand his true reason; it was fear. A single tear escaped my eye when my lids fell close, feeling it running down my nose and falling off the tip. My teeth bit onto my lower lip when he kissed my head, holding me in a warm embrace before whispering a silent “Someday.” as if he would speak out a wish.

Yeah. Someday~


	8. Someday - Part 2 - Love weakens the Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new day should stay for new hope, but not so for Cor, Aterna and the little boy. How can you stay strong when everything you want cherish crumbles into dust? All that is left are memories, but sometimes this isn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

A deep breath was taken when I woke up. Open eyes catching the view of Prompto who laid between Cor and me, our arms laying on the sleeping boy. My fingers brushed along the warm forearm of the other, moving my hand to my face when I rolled onto my back. I could feel Cor’s cheek in my palm, his breaths caressing my wrist. Wondering that he didn’t get up yet, I turned my head to look at him. Bright blue eyes were laying on me already, betraying that he was awake for a while. My hand found its place on my chest after rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Mornin’”

I had to clear my throat, my voice raspy and barely audible. A soft smile tugged on his lips, feeling his skin move against my palm.

“Good Morning”

It was impudent how perfect his voice sounded and that no tiredness could be seen on his face.

“Thought you’d be up already.”

“I probably would have been up, if I could”

Eyebrows knitted and just when I lifted my head, I noticed that I was laying on his arm. A silent chuckle fell from my lips.

“You could have rolled me off or pull it out. I am used to be woken up roughly”

“I didn’t mind to stay in bed for a bit longer”

A hint of surprise laid on my face. My thumb brushed along his cheekbone, his eyes closing for a moment.

“Interesting to know that the Marshal can actually enjoy some lazing around”

Cor’s chuckle was almost enchanting and he opened his eyes, lips kissing my palm as he moved up.

“Would stay like this all day, but I think I’m not feeling my fingers anymore”

A joke? Did I hear right? This felt like a normal morning routine. So natural that it made me forget it was just temporary.

Cor pulled his arm out when I sat up, pulling my legs close to myself to bring my arms around them. I could see him stretching his arm up, bending it a few times to make the blood circulate again. My eyes hypnotized by each movement. I was fascinated by his trained body and could only take my eyes away when I saw a blonde mop of hair move up. Prompto woke up and pushed himself up with his hands, sitting on bend legs while rubbing his eyes with his fists.

“Mornin’ partner”

Tired blue marbles looked at Cor and the elder brought a hand to Prompto’s head, brushing the messy blonde locks back. His hand looked gigantic compared to the boy’s body, making his head bob back with every attempt to tame his mane. Tiny hands reached up to grab his arm and push it away from him. A light frown laid on the child’s face when he crawled towards me on all forth, squeezing himself between my thighs and upper body. Prompto used my legs as a backrest and his forehead laid on the soft fabric of the bathrobe on my chest. The bed moved when Cor rolled onto his side, his hand moving to the small one, a finger tapping on the loosely hanging arm.

“Hey, Prompto. We have to wash your face and brush your teeth, so we can go see the train”

An open hand pushed Cor’s hand away.

“No”

I chuckled and looked at the marshal. The corner of his lips tugged up by an amused grin.

“Why not?”

As soon as his finger touched Prompto’s hand again, it moved up quickly, his arms holding onto me now. His tiny face disappearing in my robe.

“I want to go wif mommy”

There was this sudden tension of my muscles again when muffled whimpers supported the dramatic words. Cor sat up immediately, looking at me now. I’ve been the one who was calling for help through my eyes this time, but I just received a clueless shrug of his big shoulders. My hands reached for Prompto’s arms, holding him up against my legs while leaning back, able to see his face now. I wanted to try something since he knew our names, hearing us saying them when talking to each other. I had to give it a try. The boy looked at me and I pointed with one hand at him.

“What’s your name?”

“Pwompto!”

Tiny teeth appeared when he smiled proudly. I pointed at Cor.

“What’s his name?”

“Cor!”

A finger at my direction now.

“And my name?”

“Aeta!”

So far, so good. Cor looked at me, trying to find out what I was doing. My teeth brushed along my lower lip and I tried to phrase my questions differently. A finger pointed at Cor again.

“Who’s this?”

Prompto smirked and held his folded hands up, lifting his head to look at me.

“My daddy.”

I felt how my eyebrow moved up, eyes rolling to the side to look at Cor. He brought his hand to mine, directing my finger towards me.

“And who’s that?”

The blonde boy tilted his head back, blue eyes rolling playfully at Cor’s question.

“That’s mah mommy.”

I shot the marshal a look that told him that this was exactly what I tried to explain to him a day before. Prompto knew the meaning of those words and now we had a proof. The elder stood up and let out an audible sigh while stretching himself.

“Great. Now we have a problem.”

“You don’t say.”

Cor took a quick glimpse of me over his shoulder when he walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I puffed my cheeks and looked at Prompto who did the same. My hand moved to his face and fingers squeezed the air-filled sides, causing a funny noise to escape his puckered lips. He started to giggle and covered his mouth with both hands.

“I just fa’ted”

I laughed and sat up, taking him into my arms to squeeze him lightly.

“You’re such a cute lil’ munchkin. I could eat ya alive”

For a short moment, I thought about grabbing our stuff and run away with him. Just for a second…

When it was our turn to use the bathroom, I helped Prompto to wash his face and brush his teeth. A happy smile never left his lips, even having fun when I dressed him. Cor brought the box with the used plates back to the receptionist, letting me know that he would check us out as well. The boy insisted to put on his shoes on his own and I used the time to put on mine, tying my sneakers while watching Prompto pulling the Velcro close.

“You weady?”

I gave him a nod and stood up, his hand reaching for mine to hold it when we left the room. Cor was waiting outside already and came to me, his fingers pulling on my scarf to fix it around my face. Satisfied, he moved beside me so we could make our way towards the train station. I didn’t even make a step and felt too warm beneath my cover, hating the necessity of it. Prompto let go of my hand and ran around me, moving between Cor and me to take both of our hands into his. My eyes moved up to Cor and I could see that he was thinking the same as me: we fucked up big time. Kid not getting attached to us? Fail. Trying not to get attached to the kid? Massive fail.

We reached the train station rather quickly and I checked the timetable while Cor bought our tickets. Eyes moved to the big clock on the side of the building, seeing that the next train would come in an hour. I looked down at Prompto and swung his arm lightly, his blue hues quickly up at me.

“How about some ice-cream for breakfast?”

The confused expression on his face was too cute and I pointed at the ice-cream truck with the pictures of the sweet coldness, standing not far away from us. I knew that he was looking at it before since there wasn’t much more to see beside grassland and the main street. His free hand moved up to his lips, fingers playing with the lower one while he nodded hesitantly. Cor came back right on time since I almost forgot that I had no money on me. He stood beside me, so close that my shoulder was leaning against his chest.

“Got us a private cabin, so you can take off your scarf later. We have an hour to kill until the train arrives”

“I know, thanks. Would you mind to treat us to some-“

“Ice-cream!!!”

The fist of Prompto moved up into the air when he heard what we were talking about. Cor hunkered down so the boy didn’t have to look up, making a stern face.

“For breakfast?”

“Yes.”

“Have you been good?”

“I been good.”

An irresistible smile on Prompto’s lips and I didn’t have to mention that my hand had been replaced by the one of Cor when both left me to walk to the ice-cream truck. I waited at the station, hearing their voices, but not what they said. I could imagine what it was and when Cor picked Prompto up, it made me smile. He was a complete different person and I wondered if this was his true self. They came back to me and a happy child was holding two cones with the sweet treat.

“You got two?”

“Naw. One’s for you, mommy.”

It was still weird that he called me like that, but I didn’t have a heart to tell him. I took one of the cones and looked at Cor, my eyes asking him how I should eat that without uncovering my face.

“Don’t worry.”

His hand grabbed my arm and it woke an unpleasant feeling inside of me, since this was the same grip he used when he put me into my place or dragging me along as my shield.

“The station is almost empty. I’ll keep an eye on you.”

As soon as I turned around, the grip on my arm loosened and his hand wandered around my arm, down to my hand, only fingertips holding it. I wanted to pull away and didn’t feel good about all of this happening, but since this would be my last day of freedom, I let it happen. My fingers held his lightly and I enjoyed the soft caresses of his thumb along my skin.

We walked to the last bench that stood at the train platform and Cor sat Prompto down so he could finally eat his ice-cream. I sat down beside him while Cor positioned himself next to the bench, behind me when I turned myself to the blonde child. My finger hooked into my scarf and when pulled open, I let it fall onto my shoulders. I took a quick lick of the melting sweetness while watching Prompto blowing some air onto his. Cor’s chuckle could be heard silently and I assumed he saw it as well.

“Why are you blowing on your ice-cream?”

My voice held an amused chuckle as well and the boy pointed at his gelato, looking up at me.

“'cause it’s hot”

I remember that he saw me blowing some air onto the warm food yesterday so he could eat it, but he couldn’t really understand that this wasn’t working for cold food.

“No, honey. Hot is when it is really really warm. Ice-cream is cold. You can’t blow on that. Just lick it and make it warm in your mouth.”

My hand reached for his that was holding the cone and I poked my tongue out, so he would do as well before moving the sweet top along it. He smacked his lips, letting out a sound to tell that he liked it. I let him continue on his own, but noticing quickly that the melting mess was all over his face as well. My head tilted back until I could see up at Cor

“Do we have tissues or something?”

He uncrossed the arms on his chest and hands patted the pockets of his jeans, but he shook his head. When he looked up again, his eyes weren’t on me and I moved my head back up, the Marshal already beside me.

“Hey lil’ fella”

An old man with a long gray beard appeared out of nowhere and stopped beside the bench, greeting us with a nod of his head. It was too late for me to hide my face, but the stranger didn’t pay much attention to me, at least not more than to the other two.

“I’m sorry to interrupt ya, but I’ve seen ya from afar, havin’ a ranch right ov'r there. My Chocobo’s just got chicks and thought the lil’ guy wants to see ‘em. I have eight grandchildren on ma own, but they’re grown ups a'ready.”

He spoke quickly and with a strange accent, but Boba had the same, so I assumed it was the usual way to speak in this region. I wasn’t sure what to think of it, but I also didn’t want to miss a chance to make this day unforgettable for Prompto and Chocobo chicks were a rare attraction. My hand reached up for Cor’s and when he looked at me, I nodded softly. He clicked his tongue and brought his attention back to the old man.

“Alright, but we have to be back when the train comes.”

The old man flashed a smile, missing a few of his teeth which made him look funny.

“Don’t worry. I know when the train comes and when it goes.”

We followed the man to his ranch, finding out that his name was Manny and when he asked about us, Cor told him we were tourists from Leide, wanting to visit Insomnia with our two year old. It was shocking how good and quick Cor was able to reply, never in need of a second to come up with a good story. The enclosure of the chicks was just behind a small hill and Prompto went inside when Manny opened the fence, letting the boy pat some of the chubby chocobo poults. Big blue eyes looked up at me when I leaned my arms against the top of the fence, pointing at some of the cute chickens with a big grin. I smiled at him and his attention moved quickly back to his new friend who told him a bit about the Chocobos. Big strong arms appeared on each side of me, hands placed beside mine on the wooden plank and I felt Cor close behind me.

“Time’s running away from me and I see no possibility to catch up anymore. I don’t know if I can do this, Cor.”

He lowered his head, lips on my shoulder and I felt his warm breath hot on my skin when he sighed against my scarf. His hands moved closer to mine until thumbs laid on the back of them, trying to comfort me with gentle caresses.

“You’re not making this decision just for yourself. You have to stay strong and wait what the future holds ready for you. We have to go back and face our problems instead of running away from them. There is no place for you to hide and no place where you’ll ever find peace if you break away”

“Yeah…”

I nodded and could hear the signal that the train was coming, Manny holding Prompto’s hand already to bring him out. My hands moved away from Cor’s, turning around before looking up at him and pushing him out of the way. He immediately understood that this simple gesture meant an end to our time together as well. Manny waved us goodbye and told us to come back if we would ever get the chance to visit him. A fake smile hid the fact that we would probably never see each other again. What a sad farewell.

We took our seats at the reserved cabin when the train started to drive off. I stared out of the window, not bothering to take my scarf off as this ride wouldn’t be a long one. Prompto stood on the seat to be able to look out of the window as well and Cor sat beside him, holding him with both hands so he wouldn’t fall. I stared, blankly, trying to shut everything around me down. The sound of Prompto’s and Cor’s voice, their reflection on the cold glass and the fact that they were here with me. I focused on the chatter of the train, everything else became a distant echo.

My body flinched when Prompto started to smack his hands against my legs, holding his arms up to me so I would pick him onto my lap.

“Mommy! Di’ you see that?”

I couldn’t breathe anymore, my chest so heavy that it was about to crush my heart. My hands grabbed Prompto when I stood up and I swung him back into Cor’s lap. _Get out. _I reached for the handle and opened the cabin door, walking out to pull it close behind me. A deep sigh rolled over lightly parted lips and I could still hear them. _Go away. Quick. _I made my way into the other wagon, my steps so quick that people looked up when I passed them. _Further. _I’ve passed another sliding door and entered the restroom in the carriage. Cold water ran out of the tap and I pulled the scarf off my head, catching some coolness with my hands to splash it into my face. _Stay strong. He told you. You’re strong. You know it. _I could hear the announcement through the speakers. We were about to reach Insomnia’s train station in a minute. I dried my face with some of the paper towels, pulling the scarf up over the lower part of my face before fixing it with a knot on the back of my head.

On my way back, Cor and Prompto were waiting for me before leaving the train together. I followed Cor to one of the back exits. We had to pass a guard who wanted to see our ID’s, but as soon as he recognized the Marshal, he let us go with a salute. I kept my distance, walking at least four steps behind them and avoided any eye contact with Prompto, who was up on the elder’s arm.

“’s mommy angwy?”

“I don’t think she’s angry.”

“Sad?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?”

“Because of…me.”

“You been bad?”

“Yes…”

“Oh!”

We reached a small house close to the inner wall that surrounded Insomnia and he stopped. I did the same and my heart started to pound against my chest when he looked back at me, signalizing me that we reached our destination. A woman came out of the front door as if she would have been waiting for us already. I didn’t move an inch when Cor walked towards her, exchanging just a few words before hunkering down. As soon as Prompto’s tiny feet touched the ground, my heart stopped. I couldn’t hear what Cor was saying to him, but the bright blue eyes of the boy widened. Blonde hair moved when he shook his head. I stopped to breath when Cor stood up and the woman took Prompto’s hand into hers.

“No!”

A loud cry from Prompto echoed against the walls and the tall brunette turned away, moving back to me. I clenched my fists when the child wanted to run after him, but the stranger held him tight.

“Pwease! I be good! I pwomis! I be good! Daddy! Mommy! I be good!”

Bloodcurdling cries pierced their way into my ear, burning themselves into my mind. My frozen body suddenly moving and I made a step forward, but Cor stepped into my way, covering the view on the child. My stifled sobs ended up in hiccups, my whole body shaking.

“No”

My voice caught in my throat and Cor’s hand found its place around my arm again, dragging me away. I could still hear him cry and I could feel his pain. I didn’t even know which way we took, around how many corners we’ve been gone and how many steps we made, but I needed to stop. I pulled my arm out of his grip, moving back blindly until my back hit a wall. My body slumped down and I pulled my legs as close to me as I could, my arms shielding my head when I hid it behind my knees. I cried as silent as I could, unable to tell if I was still breathing, but it didn’t matter to me. A loud thunder made the ground shake before it started to rain. _Even the gods are crying._

I lifted my head and felt how my whole body was soaking wet, every rain drop hiding my tears from him. Cor was hunkering in front of me, his eyes filled with pain as well but it just didn’t feel real to me.

“This was so wrong…”

I whispered. His teeth brushed along his lower lip and he looked away from me.

“It’s the best for the boy”

The boy. He made him nameless again as if he wanted to forget him quicker that way. I stood up and Cor did as well, almost at the same time while his eyes were looking for mine again. I pointed at my chest, my lips trembling in anger and sorrow.

“WE were the best for him.”

“Aeta…”

“Now he lost both of us and it doesn’t end with him. We are losing each other now as well.”

“You know…”

I interrupted him again, this time with my hand up and when he went silent, I placed it onto his chest. Eyes blinked at the pouring rain that ran down my face when I looked up at him again.

“You’re telling me to be strong. To stay strong. How can I be strong if love is weakening me?”

My arm pushed him away and he actually made two steps back, enough space for me to manifest my sword. Before he could even guess what happened, I threw my Katana up into the air, warping myself up onto the roofs. Feet moved quickly along the tiles, my blade almost in a constant move until I was able to reach the top of the wall. _Run. Run. Run!_

The squealing wheels of a car could be heard and I knew who it was. _Don’t look. _I didn’t have to look as I heard the howling motor close. I caught the view of the castle and threw my blade onto the ground behind the gate, warping myself towards it just to find the guns of the guards pointing at me. My hands moved behind my head when I turned to them, fingers untying the knot on the back and the scarf had been carried away by the wind. They knelt down when they saw who I was. I pulled my Katana out of the ground and let it vanish, eyes catching the sight of a car’s headlights.

“Aeterna!”

Gates had been opened and before I’d see him, I turned around, walking towards the stairs that led up to the castle’s doors. Cor’s steps behind me were loud and quick, but he wasn’t running. He would have caught up already, even while I rushed towards the place I called home.

Guards opened the doors for me and as soon as I entered, I knew my father would have been informed already. I could feel his presence when my soaked shoes left tiny puddles on the marble floor.

“For the love of gods, where have you been?”

His voice painful in my ears and I clenched my fists, ignoring him while heading towards the corridor that would lead to my bedroom.

“Aeterna! I am talking to you!”

The heavy breaths of Cor became audible, wet steps becoming slow before his voice dragged the Kings attention to him.

“Your Majesty, allow me to speak for the princess.”

I didn’t want to know what kind of story could be made up to explain what happened in the last few days. There was no demand in me to find it out. The door to my room was finally close at hand. Opened. Closed. Locked.

I’ve never locked my door before, but it felt necessary. I slipped out of my wet clothes while moving towards my bed. Everything had been left on the floor when I climbed onto the big mattress. My body laying prone on the fresh sheets. My face buried in my pillows. I wasn’t able to cry anymore. I’ve lost so much and gathered nothing from it. Shouldn’t it make me stronger? I’ve lost the love of my mother, when she died. I’ve lost the love of Prompto, when I gave him away. I’ve lost the love of Cor, when I flew back into my birdcage.

Loud knocks on my door betrayed the anger of my father, but I didn’t move, only listening to him yelling at me to open the door.

“Maybe it is for the best to let her rest and talk to her tomorrow.”

Muffled, but I heard Clarus calming my father down and the sudden silence betrayed that he was successful. I sighed deeply into my pillows, keeping my eyes closed.

_Watch me suffer_

_Watch me cry_

_Just wake me up_

_Before I die_

Someday, I might be able to be strong enough to accept my fate.

Someday, I might find a way to accept this emptiness inside of me.

Someday, I will cry my last tear.


	9. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The closeness between Aeterna and Cor became the same distance as before. The princess tries to focus on other things than him, but what makes her so eager? Frustration? Anger? The only man who changed his mind about who and what she was seems to be her father, the king.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

„Don’t play me for a fool, Aeterna! I know he’s lying for you.”

The voice of my father let the whole room shake, echoing against the walls to make me hear it on repeat. I sat on the other side of the table, opposite of the king. He was the judge and I was the defendant. My heart beat at normal rate and no muscle in my face twitched when he yelled at me. Frustration was written on his face and his glare was deadly, like a loaded gun. My lower arms laid on the table, my hands folded in front of me while I listened to him, telling me what I did wrong, how many rules I broke and how I could dare to disobey him. The only question I asked was what Cor told him already. This seemed to be his limit. 

“I have never asked him to lie for me. I am asking you what he told you, to save us some time without me repeating it all over again.”

I lied and I was surprised how easy it went over my lips. I watched my father lift his arm before fingers started to rub the side of his forehead.

“You’ve been gone. For four days. Marshal Leonis’ version covers two, maybe three days. What’s with the remaining one?”

His voice became more silent, almost calm, but the deep undertone was still holding his anger.

“You’ve put our arrangement on hold without talking to me first. I have to confess that I’ve been out without approval, but I’ve been promised freedom and felt like having the right to keep it.”

“You’ve been given one day, but you took four.”

“Sometimes things take longer than one expects.”

“Your impertinence isn’t of great help, Aeterna.”

“It’s the truth.”

“What could have taken so much time?”

“A higher ranked hunt.”

I could see the side of his lips twitching in displeasure, but he had been already informed what I was doing when leaving the walls of Insomnia. He still couldn’t get used to it.

“And after that, you’ve been called by Cor Leonis who asked for backup.”

Not sure if this was a question or a remark from Cor’s story, but I decided to answer.

“No. You out of all people should know that the Marshal wouldn’t be in need of backup nor ask for it. Especially not me. Let’s call it a lucky accident that I ran into him.”

Even if only half of it was true, it felt better than being wrapped up in lies. My father's head rested against his fingers now and the stern features on his face softened a little.

“But he gave you a communicator?”

“Yes. Before you ask, it is one of the elder devices, which works as a receiver only.”

“Do you know why he gave it to you?”

“To let me know, when he will come back.”

This wasn’t exactly the answer he wanted to hear, but I wouldn’t say more. I just didn’t see the point. My father, as well, didn’t let me know what Cor told him. I was sure he didn’t mention Prompto with one word. This whole question and answer game became tiring. I leaned back and brought my arms onto the armrests of my chair.

“I feel like sitting before the high court. We’re on our own, dad. Tell me what you want me to do or punish me straight ahead. I see that my answers and what the Marshal has told you are not to your satisfaction. I will not apologize for what I’ve done as well.”

“Do you really think this is just about your punishment? I am trying to understand what’s wrong with you, to find a reason why you are like…this.”

This. How nicely put. I shook my head lightly and licked my lips to hide a sarcastic smile.

“To understand, you’d need to see all of **this** through my eyes, but all you do is watching me through the eyes of the king, rarely through those of a father. I really looked up to you when I was younger, enjoying the stories that have been told about your adventures and I always wanted to do the same. You actually made me feel that I could. You encouraged me to follow my dreams and never give up. I don’t know why or even when, but your attitude towards me changed.”

“Because you’ve grown up to a woman and your duties changed.”

“And how do my duties look like?”

I leaned forward when my voice became louder, my eyebrows knitted in frustration.

“Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful that you allow me to be a part of yours, but I am striving for more. My efforts can’t be unseen by you. Allow me to follow in your footsteps and go out into the world to continue where you stopped.”

A deep sigh filled the sudden silence, when my father thought about what I said. I was prepared for a rejection already, but I was also hoping that he would understand. He just had to look back for the past few years to see that I was more than just a princess. I was his daughter and I was just like him, when he was younger. He must have noticed that as well.

“I…have to think about that. This doesn’t mean that you can do whatever you want. You’re still my daughter, the princess of Lucis. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your high interest in warfare, but it isn’t easy to bring you in. The council has to approve and without a proof of your proficiency, they won’t. Your mentioned hunter’s ranking isn’t of help either, as your achievement was against the law already.”

My eyes lit up and my heart skipped a beat. This was unexpected and I had to recapitulate my father’s words, to make sure I understood them right. I rose a brow while tilting my head lightly to the side, trying to hide my hasty delight.

“So, you consider involving me into the military affairs, not only as an advisor but also as a part of the Crownsguards?”

A soft smile and an amused look graced my father’s face. He nodded lightly to confirm my question. My inner self was jumping for joy, but I couldn’t grasp why he changed his mind.

“Don’t get too excited. I said, I am thinking about it. Now leave or I’ll change my mind. You should go see your brother. He’s having language lessons in the main garden.”

I couldn’t hide my excitement anymore when I stood up, walking around the table to give my father a light hug.

“Thank you.”

He patted my back and looked down at me, still holding that warm smile on his lips.

“Do me a favor and leave at least a note when you sneak out. I’m still your father and am worried about you. This won’t make me worry less, but at least I know that you care for your old man as well.”

I was actually touched but his request. With a smile, I placed a kiss onto his cheek and nodded. What started with a distanced discussion, ended with me finding my father within the king again.

As soon as I left the room, Clarus tapped in, closing the door behind him. Cor was waiting for me already, fully dressed in his black Crownsguard uniform. The familiar distance was almost tangible, but this had to be someone else’s headache. I didn’t want to ruin my moment of bliss. I headed straight towards the main garden, followed by my bodyguard without an exchange of words.

“Gween grass”

We reached the stairs that led down to the green area and I stopped abruptly when I heard Noctis’ voice. Cor almost bumped into me, but managed to quickly step to the side, now beside me.

“What’s wrong?”

My heart pounded against my chest, my view blurry, pulsating in the rhythm of my blood-pumping organ. One of my hands moved up to place my palm onto my chest, trying to calm myself with steady breaths. The voice of my brother reminding me painfully of the past few days. Of Prompto. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, opening them when I exhaled.

“I’m good.”

Cor’s hand reached for my wrist, fingertips barely touching the bare skin on my palm. I looked up at him, my eyes meeting ocean blue’s.

“You’re sure?”

I forced a smile onto my lips, nodding before continuing to walk down the stairs. Noctis sat on a blanket that laid on the grass while his nanny sat on a bench, both hidden in the shadow falling from a tree above them. The young woman stopped the lesson when she saw me and stood up to bow properly. I rose my hand to tell her she should continue while I folded the skirt of my dress to be able to kneel down beside my brother. My hand moved to the back of his head, lightly stroking it until he turned his head to look up at me. Big blues eyes filled with tears and lips pouted. He let himself fall back against his arm, able to crawl towards me and buried his face into my chest. Tiny arms wrapped around me and I brought one of mine around him as well.

“Why are you crying?”

I stroked his back gently and watched him trying to push himself closer against me.

“I missed you”

My hand moved under his arm to pull him up onto my lap, positioning him into my arm so I could wipe away his tears. He sniffled and I gave him the warmest smile my lips allowed.

“I’ve missed you too”

His little arms reached up for me and I leaned down, his hands on my cheeks now before I pecked his lips. I loved him, with all my heart, but it was hard for me to push aside any thought of the child that I was holding in my arms a day before.

“We’re good?”

Nocto flashed a smile and nodded. I sat him down onto the blanket beside me, feeling how he immediately leaned against my arm and his hand holding mine firmly. Eyes fell onto the tiny fingers and I brought my thumb onto them. _Don’t let go._

Eyes looked at the nanny who tried to catch Noctis’ attention again, but he only looked at her when I pointed towards her. She took out a stack of cards and showed him images of things, asking him what it was, what color it had and how many he could count. I just sat there and listened to the sweet sound of the child’s voice.

I had spent my whole day with my brother and it was unavoidable to let him sleep in my room. How could I deny his request? Cor brought me to my door while I held the boy up in my arms. He lifted his hand and for a short second I thought it would move closer to me, but his palm had been placed onto the left side of his chest before he bowed down.

“Good night, your highness.”

My voice stuck in my throat and I replied with a quick nod only, my hand already on the handle to open the door. I wanted to ask him to stay a bit longer, but then I reminded myself that this wasn’t possible anymore. There was no meaningful reason for him to do so. My eyes fell onto the ground and I entered my room, able to see him still standing there when the door had been closed again. My brother laid on my bed already and I turned the bed side lamp on, changing into my sleeping clothes. He snuggled into my arms as soon as I was on the bed beside him. His head on my arm while my fingers combed through his dark locks, silently singing a lullaby to him, about spirits and hauntings in the woods. A song my mother used to sing when I was little. The lyrics were scary but the melody so soothing that I loved to listen to it every night.

My eyes moved from Noctis’ head to my door, seeing my father standing half way in to listen to me as well. He was visibly remembering the lullaby as well, enjoying it with half closed eyes. Last words left my lips, letting the melody end in a whisper and my father’s finger had been placed on his lips. He came to my bed, leaning over the edge until able to kiss Noctis’ forehead for a goodnight, doing the same to me after I bowed my head. My father left as silent as he came. He never set a foot into my room before. Was it the song that lured him inside? I laid down with a sigh, holding the boy close to myself. Away for four days, but so much has changed. Or was it me who changed?

It had been days since my father and I talked. There was nothing new about his offer and I didn’t dare to ask, sure that he would tell me. I sat on the stony bench in the small garden in front of my bedroom, holding a book in my hands but I was too distracted to read. My eyes were scanning the lines without sending their meaning to my mind. A meeting had been set up today and due to its urgency, I wanted to find out what it was about. Of course I was hoping that my wish would be topic, but I would have to wait. I chewed on my lip nervously.

“Want to tell me the reason for your impatience?”

Eyes moved from the book to Cor who sat on the other side of the bench. I placed my hand onto the open book, unsure if I should answer his question.

“It’s nothing.”

I shook my head lightly, still looking at him just to see that he was nodding his head. He didn’t believe me, for that he knew me too well.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell…”

Arms crossed on his chest as he leaned back, moving his eyes from me up to the tree. He didn’t say much, but I felt manipulated by it already. Should I even have any kind of remorse? I closed the book with one hand, turning to him with an arm up on the backrest.

“Could you please don’t….be like that?”

Cor’s head moved up again and he looked at me as if he wouldn’t understand what I was talking about. Shoulders shrugged.

“Like what?”

“Making me feel bad about not talking to you…much.”

Did I say what I wanted to say? It sounded so wrong, when I spoke it out, but there was this inner unrest.

“The question is why. If keeping distance is your wish, I’ll respect that. Just thought that we could still talk as…”

The grip around my book tightened and I hoped he wouldn’t speak out what I thought he would.

“As what?”

“…friends?”

This actually killed me. I stood up and bit onto my lower lip. The book had been pushed against his chest and when he took it, he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry, Cor, but you can take your friendship and shove it up your ass. For us to become friends, it needs more than words. It needs healing and oblivion.”

“Aeta, I didn’t mean-”

His hand reached for mine, but I moved it away, removing my eyes from his as well.

“It doesn’t matter. I have to attend a meeting now. Will see you later, Marshal.”

_Don’t you want to know what he wanted to say? _No. There is nothing he could say that would change anything between us. I would always be the one craving for him while he would just try to serve his king.

I’ve been the first one in the meeting room, waiting for the others to come in. All of us took their usual seats and Clarus was having the first word.

“The new Crownsguards will attend their training soon. What we are missing are more skillful instructors. Because of the still ongoing war, we are unable to spare any of the commanders. Therefore we have decided to give some of the applicants from among our military force to go for the Blademaster’s trial. Since there was no other way to make a decision, we are making this radical step. All applicants possess the same skills, but there can be only one. Votes had been made and I would like to ask again if there is anyone here who is against it?”

I looked at the others, but no one was shaking his head or saying something. Silence. Much has happened while I have been away for just four days and it seemed that this information has never reached me. I chewed on my lower lip again. The Blademaster’s trial woke so many memories. When Clarus continued, I could feel my fathers eyes on me, not visible for the others. Why?

“The applicants will be introduced in the big throne room. I would like to ask all of you to meet there after our conference. The king will make his choice, who will be allowed to participate. If the applicant will not make it, there will be a new vote.”

Nods from everyone and when they got up, I suddenly heard a glass clink and water splattered all over my dress. My father knocked a glass over and when I hunkered down to pick it up, he did the same, apologizing silently. His hand grabbed my wrist as soon as I held the glass in mine, making me look at him.

“You should get changed”

Fingers slipped from my wrist to close around the glass, taking it from me with a wink. My eyes became big and now I understood what he meant. I nodded quickly and stood up, walking past the others. When I was around the corner, I started to run. I rushed into my room, pulling a chest out from under the bed and opened the lid; my hunter outfit. The dress had been taken off violently, so I could quickly change into my armor. I pulled my hood over my head and let the mask snap close on my face. I’ve never been so excited in my life. This was my chance. If my father let me attend the trial, he must have faith in me. Except for Cor Leonis, no one has ever survived a meeting with the Bladesmaster. I took a deep breath and headed out of my room, walking quickly to the throne room. Some Crownsguard member stood around and I had to push some of them aside to be able to make my way to the stairs which led up to the throne. Three other applicants were kneeling before the steps already and I manifested my Katana into my hand before reaching them. I dropped down onto one knee, the tip of my blade on the ground while both hands had been placed on top of my hilt. My head lowered, just like those of the others.

My father started with the man on the far left, asking him for his name and his intentions. I knew I would be the last one to be asked. My heart was racing and every second that passed felt like an hour to me. Then the king stood before me and I lifted my head to look up at him. Clarus stood to his left side, the Marshal on the other.

“Tell me your name.”

“They’re calling me the Reaper, your majesty.”

“What are your intentions.”

“Prove my worth as a loyal warrior, serving the Kingdom with sword and life.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you, young hunter. Your reputation precedes you. I think I’ve made my choice”

Cor and Clarus looked at the king almost at the same time. Everyone went silent and my father's hand closed around the hilt of my Katana to lift it up, holding it sideways with my blade in the other palm. I stood up and he held it towards me.

“Are you willing to participate in the Blademaster’s trial, knowing that you might pay with your life if you fail?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Are you willing to serve the Kingdom, support our leaders of the Crownsguards and fight in the name of the Kings of Lucis?”

“Yes, I am.”

He handed me my sword and I could hear sighs of relief, coming from the other applicants. Were they actually grateful for not having been chosen? I bowed down, letting the blade disappear in its sheath on my belt.

“The car is waiting outside. You’ll depart immediately. The guards are told to wait for twenty-four hours for you. If you’ll not return within seventy-two hours, you’ll be declared dead. Good luck, young hunter. May the gods be with you.”

The king smiled at me and I returned it, even if he couldn’t see it under my cover. Before I turned around to leave, I could see Cor’s eyes on me. I’ve never seen this look in his eyes. Was it fear? Concern? He turned to my father and whispered something to him, Clarus confirming his words with a nod. I could imagine that they tried to convince him to stop me, to rethink his choice. He didn’t. My father believed in me and that gave me the strength needed to face the demon who had been feared by so many brave men.


	10. The Trials of Gilgamesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A princess and the trials of Gilgamesh; two things that sounded so paradox that it must be impossible for the Blademaster to allow a royal to compete in his trials. Will she even meet him? Will she make it without the help of her shield or anyone else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

Everything went so fast. When I sat in the car, I suddenly started to realize what I was about to do. What I was allowed to do. Nervousness kicked in. Not because of the trial, but excitement. Have I been prepared? Yes. This was the day I’ve been waiting for for far too long. I’ve been trained by the best. I didn’t fear death.

The guards sitting on the front seats of the car were talking silently, I could hear the subject was my armor. I’ve never worn heavy armor like most soldiers. I preferred it to be light, so my movements wouldn’t be limited. Thigh-high boots with knee protectors, fingerless leather gloves reaching up to my upper arm, arm guards protecting hands and forearms, a metallic pauldron on my right shoulder, which’s belts held my cape in place and a dark leather dress that protected my body.

The car slowed down until stopping at the Taelpar Crag. One of them took out his phone and the other turned to me, my hand was already on the handle of the backdoor.

“We will contact the citadel now. You’re on your own. Good luck.”

I saluted with two fingers up my forehead and exited the car, feeling the cold night air on the bare skin of my thighs. Looking down the canyon, I turned around and let myself fall backwards into its darkness. A hand grabbed the hilt of my Katana and pulled it out of its sheath before throwing it into the ground. My quick warp lit up the path, but I could barely see it when the sparks faded, blinded by the night. Letting my sword disappear, I held my hand up and let a flame appear in my palm. The light beam hasn’t been wide-ranged, but it was enough for me to know where I had to go or at least, where I assumed it.

The way narrowed. Stony walls reflected the flame in my hand and eyes fell onto the entry to a cave. I could see light coming from inside and my hand closed, the fire in my palm vanishing. My steps became slower, carefully entering the lair. The smell of mold and paraffin made its way through the fabric of my cape. Torches attached to the walls pointed the way and I followed. Deeper inside, I was sure that I chose the right way. Corpses of dead warriors hung from the ceiling, some impaled on the walls and others just sitting or laying on the ground, making their armor look like empty forgotten shells. The path became wider, the ceiling higher and my way had been covered with dead warriors. This wouldn’t discourage me, even if it was the Blademaster’s intention.

A soft breeze brushed along my hood and glowing orbs entered the bodies of dead soldiers, reviving them with an echoing sigh. My Katana had been called into my hand, ready to fight, but I also asked myself how to kill someone who’s dead already. A mysterious aura clasped around their armored bodies and their swords were hissing through the air when they wielded them. I made a few steps back, luring them back into the tighter part of the passage before attacking the first undead. When its blade hit mine, I felt the heavy weight of the old weapon against my arms. My Katana thin but sharp, twisted in my hand before piercing its way through protective metal. I kicked the body off my blade, watching it slump onto the ground. No time to rest. My body bend back when another blade has been swung at me. A free hand close to the ground and I was able to reach for an axe that belonged to one of the fallen knights. My body turned to the side, the new weapon slicing through the leg of my attacker and when he was about to fall, my Katana impaled his head. Eyes fell onto another one, running at me. I held the axe with both hands above my head and swung it towards the undead. It rotated in the air until the sharp edge bashed into the helmet. I reached blindly under the dead corpse beside me, pulling my Katana out of its head to walk towards my last opponent. His sword was bigger, his aura like burning flames around his body. Blades collided with the first attack and he pushed himself against it, making my arms shake lightly.

“_We’ve sworn our loyalty to Gilgamesh, both before and beyond the grave._”

The souls voice sounded like spoken directly into my head and I knew that those soldiers were meant to scare off the unworthy. Well, I had to disappoint them. I didn’t scare easy.

I jumped aside, his sword slipping down from mine and I lifted it up to behead the undead. The guards hadn’t been much of a challenge, but I could imagine that just their appearance would weaken the strong.

My way had been paved by undead soldiers. It wasn’t the fight, but the amount of enemies that was exhausting. The path seemed to end at a waterway, running down deeper into the cave. Not sure if I should follow the flow of the water, but my options had been limited. One foot stepped into the wet cold, feeling the slippery stones under my heel. Screw it. I jumped into the waterway, arms up to hold my balance while I slid down. Dry ground in sight, I pushed myself up into the air to land on it. I looked around the huge open space, only able to hear the waterfall behind me. Nothing else. The cave became darker, without any of the flames to go out. I made careful steps and kept my eyes on everything that looked suspicious as a strange mist surrounded me. Eyes fell onto violet flames that appeared at something resembling an altar. First just a shadow, then a tall creature became visible. Body in full armor, face covered with a mask, eyes glowing red and he held a Katana in his hand. He started to come closer, his frame becoming bigger and I noticed his missing arm. This must be the Blademaster.

“You come to prove yourself worthy of my mantle?”

The demonic voice caused a shiver to crawl up my spine. I’ve heard monsters growl, but this was different. It sounded more intimidating. I looked up at him, letting my Katana appear in my hand.

“I am here to undertake the Trial of Gilgamesh”

“And what is it you hope to glean?”

Gilgamesh was still coming closer. My grip around my hilt tightened, not wanting him to catch me off guard.

“Power. To protect and to gain independence.”

He had been already so close that he would have been able to land a hit with his sword. I rose my Katana and pointed with the tip towards him, to make him stop. He did, to my surprise. The masked face moved to the side, examining my blade while lowering his armed hand.

“How come you’re in the possession of a royal arm. This sword is meant for Kings and those of royal blood. Tell me, have you stolen it?”

I shook my head slowly, keeping my eyes on him and his sword.

“The Katana of the Warrior is mine and has always been.”

Gilgamesh turned around, the blade in his hand disappeared and he lifted a hand at me.

“Your journey ends here. If you’re telling the truth, you must be the child of the King and I am not willing to fight against anyone from the royal bloodline. Go, young princess, I’ll spare your life.”

“No, wait!”

It angered me that he rejected my request, just because he found out who I was. I ran towards him and his arm moved up, a big sword appearing in his palm that should have stopped me, but I wasn’t ready to give up. The upper part of my body tilted back to duck under his sword when I didn’t slow down, able to position myself in front of him. I held my Katana with one hand, the sharp edge pointing at that of his weapon. Eyes looked up into glowing ones.

“If the King himself, granted my wish to participate in your trial, why shouldn’t you as well? I am here out of free will and I do not fear neither you nor death. All I am asking for is to prove my worth.”

“Hm.”

Gilgamesh’s sword touched mine, pushing it to the side to point at a direction.

“Your courage is remarkable. Go forth and we’ll see if you can pass my tasks. There is no turning back from no on.”

Lips pressed together and eyebrows knitted when I nodded up to him. Gilgamesh vanished into a shimmering purple cloud and I let out a sigh of relief. I knew how reckless my behavior was. Could have cost me my life.

I continued my way through the cave until I reached the cliffs. Paths made of wooden planks were attached to the walls and walking on it made me worry that it would break underneath my feet. I didn’t risk to look down, keeping my eyes on my way to the clifftop. When I couldn’t go any further, I’ve been forced to climb my way up, squeezing myself through a tight passage until I reached a huge bridge. Something comparable to thunder made me look up and I saw a huge shadow above my head. Burning wings swung through the air before the big monster landed in front of me. It’s body covered in scales, the head armored and long claws dug into the wood beneath its feet. Its long sturdy beak opened and its body lit up in high flames. A burning ball was shot at me and the bridge didn’t provide much space to simply jump out of the way. I lifted my forearm towards me and let a shield appear, one foot stepped behind the other to keep me up when the impact forced me back.

The magical protection disappeared and I started to run as quick as my feet could carry me, focusing on the eyes of the winged beast that was lifting his head up, the sharp snout snapping at me. I jumped up, my foot pushing myself higher by stepping onto the metallic cover of the demonic birds head and my Katana pierced through the thick skin of the left wing, tearing it up. Feet landed on the ground behind the winged monster and my eyes fell immediately onto something like a saddle attached to its back. Then I recognized it; this must have been Enkidu, Gilgamesh’s companion. A long scaled tale had been swung at me and even though I could parry the attack with my sword, I had been thrown back against a column. As soon as my back hit it, it seemed to have been pushed out of a mount. If I would have the strength of a bear, I might use those huge helpers to beat the shit out of the beast, but let’s just say this wasn’t my style.

Coughing the pain away, I made another attempt to attack, able to jump to the side when a fireball was shot at me. I found myself up in the air again, my target was the saddle. One hand held onto the warm leather while the other held up the Katana, letting it dive into the soft flesh on the back of the birds neck. I had to stand up to push my whole weight into the sword, hearing Enkidu cry out its last breath. The body sunk to the ground, wings spread on each side of the monster’s body. What a dramatic death.

The ground started to shake and I looked at the cliffs behind me, watching how the wall seemed to move, rocks sliding to the side to open another path. Guess this was the way I had to take. Passing the small path, I found myself in another cave. Its ways had been tighter, the air thinner and the temperature extremely hot. Sweat covered my entire body. 

“Preparing us for any contingency, hm?”

I spoke to myself under heavy breaths. Those trials were tough and I couldn’t imagine how the young Cor made it. Reaching the end of the corridor, I seemed to have reached a dead end. A small grotto. Even though I could see a gap in the wall, there was no way I could open it with my bare hands. Eyes scanned my surrounding, but beside a few wooden boxes and more rocks, I couldn’t see any clue on how to continue. What did I miss?

The smell of sulfur swallowed the air and it became hotter. I flinched at the sound of something trickling from the ceiling onto the ground, turning myself into the direction of the growing puddle. A huge arm jutted out and the hand crushed onto the ground before the rest of the demon mounted up. My tongue ran along salty lips when I held my Katana with both hands. I have seen the fire-blade wielding demon already or at least it could have been compared to it. I’ve never fought one alone, but there is always a first. The flaming sword moved into my direction. I dodged the attack, able to hear some of the wooden boxes burst. My Katana landed a few hits on the body of the demon, but I could feel that my strength weakened at the unendurable heat. I jumped back, then to the side and tried to avoid to be harmed by the red giants attacks. The cape on my face was soaked with my sweat, making it hard to breath. I watched it strike out again and I sucked in some air, moving towards my opponent and turned around. Heels slid along the ground, the tip of my blade pointing to the back until I could feel how it entered the demons body. Elbows felt the hot skin through the leather and that was the moment when I leaned down against the hilt, almost hearing how the sharp edge cut its way up. I looked down, a puddle of black thick blood enclosing my boots. I moved forward without looking back, only hearing how the dead demon hit the ground. I decided to push my Katana into its sheath, not wanting to waste any energy on magic anymore since those beasts seemed to lurk around every corner.

A new path opened and without wasting any time, I continued my way through the caves. A soft breeze was a pleasure to my warmed up skin. The wide open cavity reminded me a lot of the first one I’ve passed, the wooden bridges on the wall having the same structure. Rocks had been full of glowing blue crystals, filling the cave with a pleasant light. Stairs at the end of the bridge lead me up to a platform, the further path again blocked but this time by huge crystals. I hoped I wouldn’t be confronted with another demon, feeling how my body was yearning for some rest. Feet kicked the ground, feeling a thin layer of soil on it which should be enough to allow me to lay down for a minute…or two. Said and done. I bedded myself on the ground, unhooking one side of my cape to move it from my face and let it dry while my arm laid on my face, trying to take a quick nap.

I sat up, gasping for air when I woke up. I couldn’t tell how long I’ve been passed out, but it seemed not long enough. A tired yawn and a light headache betrayed the lack of sleep. I rolled my head to relax some muscles in my neck and shoulder, forcing myself up to my feet while attaching the cape back to the belt on my left shoulder. The cloth was still damp, so I didn’t sleep longer than an hour. Good. I stepped in front of the crystal gate, unsure how to open it but I thought that brute force might help. My hand held the sheath while the other grabbed the hilt, letting my blade slide out of its cover. The high pitched sound rebounded from the crystals, making them crack until they broke into dust. I pushed the blade back in as I noticed I wouldn’t need it right now.

The path led me outside or at least, to an open area as I could see the sky above me. The stony way had been surrounded by swords, sticking in the ground like a fence. Were those all the weapons of the warriors who had to pay with their death? My eyes laid on Gilgamesh who awaited me on a platform at the end, turning around when I was close enough.

“A foe reaper, the crown’s jewel, the enemy’s fear, a warrior princess with endless courage. Some should bow before your prowess, yet the end has to come soon.”

A smirk hid under my cape and I had my hand on the hilt of my sword already, impatiently waiting for his final trial. Gilgamesh lifted his hand, letting his Katana appear in his hand but he slammed it into the ground.

“Before we start, I’d like to ask you for a short conversation. Which arm of yours holds most of your strength?”

“The right one”

I rose a brow, not visible for him but it was a natural reaction at my confusion about his request. His hand pointed at the hilt of his weapon and he made a step back.

“Take the hilt into your left hand and lift yourself up with the strength of your weakest arm.”

Without hesitation or scrutiny, I did what he asked me for. A hand closed around the hilt, having to reach up high and my eyes fell onto the red cloth with dark beads and the symbol of the Crownsguard. This was Cor’s Genji Blade. Trying not to think about the sword or the former challenger, I braced my muscles before swinging my legs up into the air. My arm was lightly shaking when my whole weight was leaning against it, fingers digging into my palm to not lose my balance. An upside down Gilgamesh came closer, his armored hand reached for my cape and he pulled it aside, just a bit as he didn’t intent to uncover my face, but something else.

“So the young man who impressed me with his strength of will, is still serving at the King’s side. Tell me, princess, why do his beads grace your neck?”

“Because…it was a gift from…m-my shield…it brings me…luck”

Blood was rushing into my head and muscles in my arm ached, but I would keep myself up for as long as he asked me to. A noise that sounded like a short chuckle could be heard, but I couldn’t find anything amusing in my words.

“I’’ll tell you my rules, which you shall not break. The implementation of magic of any kind is forbidden.”

“Fine by me”

“Good. Now equip yourself with your weapon. We shouldn’t waste any more of your precious time.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. I landed back on my feet and shook my head lightly before pulling my Katana out of its sheath. Gilgamesh let a huge sword appear in his hand and left the Genji Blade where it was.

“How about a little bet, your highness? You’ve aroused my interest in you and I would be grateful for the ability to see the face of yours, if I win. You’ll receive the blade of your shield, if victory will be yours”

“If you win, I am all yours, Blademaster”

We nodded our heads at each other and it didn’t even take him a second to rush towards me. Blades met each other in a quick exchange of several hits, his speed unfamiliar, yet expected. I was able to parry each strike, but unable to attempt one on my own. I had to be faster and stop to rethink my next move. I had to find his weak point, everyone had one. His height and the length of his sword allowed him to keep a distance to me that made it impossible for me to reach him without risking to be cut in half by him. I had to use my size and agility to offer little surface to his attacks. My Katana had been held close to my body when I dodged one of his attacks, my body tilting back and forth at his strikes when I made my way closer to him. I ducked under his arm, my blade twisting in my hand but before I could land a hit, I caught the view of his elbow moving closer to my face. A foot moved up when I turned myself around, the other striking out to kick against his lower back, pushing myself away from him again before landing on the ground.

“You’re too slow.”

“I hear that quite a lot.”

I replied breathlessly, an invisible smile tugging on my lips. Gilgamesh pushed himself forward again, but I waited until he was close enough, watching him in slow motion through my inner eye. _Now. To the right._ Heels dug into the ground when I leaped to the side, pushing myself up into the air before my blade had been swung up into the direction of his neck. Suddenly the missing right arm seemed to manifest itself and was now blocking my sword. I jumped back, tilting my head to the side.

“You’ve been so close, but you missed”

“Not quite”

My hand pointed at the ground and he looked down, seeing that a part of on of his blonde braids laid to his feet. Did I hear a gasp in surprise? Maybe, but it was hard to tell as his mask didn’t even give a clue about what he actually was.

“Guess your rules only apply to me?”

“Now we’re equal.”

Gilgamesh crossed his arms after his sword disappeared, but his hands closed around another already. The Genji Blade manifested in his palms and it had been swung in a quicker pace than before. Because he had to hold the Katana with both hands, his front had always been protected, limiting my options. I dodged to one side, then the other and just when I was jumping back, he landed a hit. Not with his blade but with the side of his armored hand. The hard metal collided with the lower part of my face and I could feel how the right side of my lip split open. The taste of my own blood filled my mouth and he gave me a moment, letting me lift the cape to spit it out even though it was unavoidable that there would be more leaking from the wound. My finger pressed against the fabric over my lips, pushing it between them so it would suck up the red body fluid. I nodded to him so we could continue.

The Genji Blade found its way quickly back to me, the sharp edge moving to the side and I leaned back. My whole weight on the balls of my feet, knees and shoulder blades almost touching the ground. I could actually hear Gilgamesh’s sword when it missed my face by an inch. I pushed myself up and the blade was already on its way back, but I jumped up and turned mid-air. Feet landed on his hands just for a second when I pushed myself up higher. His eyes followed me, just as I expected and revealed his throat to me. A free hand touched the side of his neck, making me swing around his head back to the front while the sharp edge of my Katana had been guided along the protective armor. A loud squeaking sound laid painfully in my ears when I cut halfway through the metal, landing right between his arms. I looked up at him and could see that his glowing hues moved towards my sword.

“You could have pushed it further, then you wouldn’t have missed my throat.”

I shook my head and chuckled, giving my Katana a firm push so a small part of his armor had been cut off. It fell into my hand while I brought my sword up onto my shoulder, making a few steps back, away from him.

“I didn’t come here with the intention to kill you.”

He lowered his sword until the tip touched the ground, his demonic arm disappearing again. Were we done already? My hand brushed along my lips, the short break making me feel the pulsating pain in the swollen flesh.

“You’ve proven your mettle. I still doubt that the way of a warrior I the right one for you to choose. Your kind heart is poisoned with hate and disappointment, with sadness and grief. This will darken the pure soul of yours. Nevertheless, you have proven you are worthy to wield your sword in the name of the Kings.”

His voice changed, sounding more like that of a human. I bowed my head and pushed my Katana into the sheath, watching him holding the Genji Blade towards me. Moving closer to him, I looked up into his glowing eyes while my hand reached for my cape to pull it down from my face. Fingers hooked into the carvings on my mask, letting the locks snap open before removing it from my face.

“We’re even, Gilgamesh.”

The mask had been hooked into the belt around my waist and hands moved up to my head once again to reveal what’s still hidden under the hood. Half a smile tugged on the unharmed side of my lips and I took the glaive from his hand, thanking him with another nod.

“Remember me, Blademaster. The only way I can reach immortality is through the memories of yours and those of others.”

His hand moved up to his left shoulder before he bowed before me.

“I will never forget the warrior princess with the face of an angel but the power of a demon. Before you go back to your father’s side, allow me to give you an advice; don’t give up on hopes and dreams. There is always more than one way to attain your destination”

“I know. Thank you.”

The greatsword of the marshal vanished in my hands, unable to carry it around as it was longer than I was tall. One last gaze had been exchanged between Gilgamesh and me before I turned around to head back home.

The back of my hand dabbed the wound on my lip when it was still lightly bleeding, the other one was holding the metal piece of Gilgamesh’s armor. This was my true trophy and I was sure that the blacksmith would be able to create something wearable for me from it. Eyes looked up when I could see the sunlight coming through the cave’s exit. I was finally able to leave this place, even if I had to go back to the castle by foot.

As soon as the sun kissed my face, I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment, welcoming the warm pleasure. I took a deep breath of fresh air and I felt like having been revived from the dead. I made my first steps on the soft ground outside of the cave and when I turned around one of the huge rocks, I immediately caught the view of him. He was standing there and waited for me. My steps became slower, but his quickened towards me until he was running. I stopped, my arms moving up to welcome his around my body. A tight embrace that brought me back to reality. I felt every bruise and every broken bone. I felt the aching pain in my muscles. I felt this incredible tiredness, hunger and thirst. But I also felt relief and comfort.

“Thank gods, you’re alive”

Cor’s voice escaped in the open space between cape and neck, feeling his quick breaths against my skin. I managed half a smile, but couldn’t keep my arms up on his shoulders anymore, letting them fall to my sides. Bright blue eyes met mine when he moved his head back, hands starting to examine the visible parts of my skin, especially my face and the open wound on my lip. His thumb pushed against my jaw lightly, but it was enough to make me hiss in pain, turning my head away from him.

“I’m sorry”

I let out a silent chuckle and my eyes moved back to his, seeing the same look in them that I was holding when he came out of that cave. My hand moved up to be placed onto the back of his neck, my forehead leaning against his.

“I’m good, okay?”

My head moved along with his when he was nodding softly. I stepped back and fingers brushed along his cheek when I pulled my hand away as well. Cor leaned down more and I knew he was about to pick me up, but I quickly held him by his shoulders, forcing him to stand up again.

“I have something for you.”

“This can wait until we’re home”

His words made me smile softly and I shook my head, grabbing his wrists to lift his palms up. I held mine above them, letting the Genji Blade fall into his hands.

“I think you’ve lost that in there”

I wrapped an arm around my body, to avoid any heavy movement of my ribs when I walked past him. My hand covered the wounded lip with my cape, making my way along the path that would lead out of the canyon. It didn’t even take a minute before the sword had been handed back to me, feeling Cor right behind me.

“Mind to hold it for me a bit longer?”

A nod was given to him and as soon as my hand touched the hilt, I let it disappear. My hand had been caught by his and he brought my arm up around his neck, picking me up bridal style. I rested my head on his shoulder and my fingers grabbed the front of his coat, my eyes falling close.

“You know I can walk on my own?”

I mumbled and his lips had been pressed against my forehead, even able to feel a soft kiss on my skin.

“I’m aware of that, but I need you in my arms right now”

“But you’ll never be aware of how much harm your words cause, my love”

The grip on his coat became softer, my breaths slower and I passed out.

_Just a quick nap. You deserve it. You’re safe in his arms._

_ _


	11. The posture of a shield

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Aeterna is just one step away to finish what she started. Awaited by the King, she receives what she always wished for: respect and appreciation.   
Now she has to find a way to find a balance between being a princess and a soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Person Perspective
> 
> Please note: english is not my main language. I apologize in advance for errors in grammar or wrong use of tense :)

My head was hammering and with the next breath taken, it felt like someone would stab me right into my ribs.

„Fuck!“

The back of my skull got hit back against the headrest of my seat before opening my eyes, seeing that I was sitting in the front of a car. Raindrops on my window raced to the back, telling me that we were driving pretty fast. I turned to the driver, his eyebrows pushed deeply down and both hands held the steering wheel firmly, knuckles turning white.

„Am I out of time already?“

I pushed myself up in the seat and tried to take a look at the display on the dashboard, only able to read the time but not the date.

“I’m taking you straight to the hospital”

A sigh rolled over my lips and I shook my head lightly, bringing a cold palm onto my forehead.

“I’ll see the doc later. To finish this, I have to be back in the castle on time. Otherwise it was all for nothing.”

Cor licked his lips, the lower one disappearing between his teeth. I could see that he knew I was right.

“Why did you do it anyways? You could have been dead.”

“I’m not.”

“Don’t argue with me, Aeterna.”

“You know exactly why I had to do it. This was my only chance to free myself from the cliché of a princess. I want respect.”

“You’ve been always respected by everyone.”

A sarcastic chuckle and half a smile was my reaction to his comment.

“Yeah, because I am the daughter of the King and because I am the caring sister of the future ruler. Thanks for that.”

The click of his tongue drove me almost insane, making my eye twitch in displeasure. I looked out of the window beside me, my hands wrapped around my body and fingers lightly pressing against my ribs to find out where the pain was coming from.

“If you continue to drive like a maniac, you’ll kill us both”

“Now look who’s worried about getting killed.”

Sarcasm? I rolled my eyes.

“What’s the problem, Cor? You’ve been half my age when you challenged Gilgamesh. You’ve trained me and should be aware of what I am capable of. You didn’t even mention my success yet.”

Disappointment laid in my voice. He didn’t even know how much his pride for me would meant to me. Was it so hard for him to commend someone? I heard him sigh, but that was all I got.

We reached the castle and he parked the car at the bottom of the stairs. At least he was responsive to my pleas. I exited the car and as soon as I walked up, Cor was beside me. He wanted to move his arm around my waist to support me, but I pushed him away with a shake of my head. I had to finish this on my own. He sighed, letting me go on my own. The guards opened the door for me, surprise laying in their eyes. There was no mask on my face nor anything else that hid who I was. I stopped in front of the heavy doors that led into the throne room and took a deep breath, trying to ignore any pain in my body. My head up, my back straight when I walked in. Eyes looked up at my father who stood up the second he saw me. I fixed my gaze on him only, but I could see Clarus and the counselors walking down the stairs with him, to welcome back the one he sent out for the trial; me.

“It’s the princess!”

“The King’s daughter!”

Astonished whispers filled the room and made me smirk, even the wounded flesh on my right side being pulled up. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I knelt down onto one knee and placed my arms onto my thigh.

“Welcome back, Princess Aeterna Lucis Caelum. Your return implies your success in the Blademaster’s trial.”

The counselors started to mumble until one of them stepped closer to me, my eyes rolling to the side to catch his view.

“We need a proof that you’ve really met the legendary Gilgamesh and defeated him.”

My hand reached into the small bag attached to my belt, pulling out the shard I cut off Gilgamesh’s armor. I held it up to my father and everyone was inspecting it, but if this wouldn’t be enough, I still had an ace up my sleeve. Back up on my feet, I lifted my arms, palms facing the ceiling when the Genji Blade appeared in them.

“The shard of Gilgamesh’s armor is my souvenir, this glaive my trophy which I will return to its true owner, Marshal Cor Leonis.”

Before turning to Cor, I could see an amused, yet proud smile on my fathers lips. The marshal’s hand closed around the hilt, but also around my hand when he looked down at me.

“You should keep it as you’ve earned it.”

“I cannot wield a sword that towers me, nor one that is a part of someone else.”

I pushed it back to him and moved my hands away, his rejection now invalid. My attention had been brought back to my father and the counselors, who had to keep their word, even if they didn’t feel well about it. It was written all over their faces.

“Your wish to become a leading part of the Crownsguards will be granted. In this exceptional circumstances, I have to ask you, if you are willing to put your duties as a princess above those of a captain of the Crownsguards?”

Eyes narrowed and I wasn’t sure why Clarus was asking me this question. What if I refused? I tried to find help in my father’s eyes, but couldn’t find any. Clarus made a step closer to me, standing almost between the King and me.

“If you accept, not much will change except for more responsibilities, but if you refuse, you have to choose; remain a princess and continue the life as you know it or become a captain, renouncing your title and your royal affiliation.”

I swallowed, hesitating to answer. The face of my father became serious, concern laying in his eyes when he noticed my hesitancy. I felt the urge to look back at Cor, but this would just send the wrong signals to the others. I wasn’t even able to see him. My hopes lost in my own helplessness. If I would choose the option to put my duties above those of the Crownsguard or give up the position of the captain, not much would change and I would keep the power of the King’s daughter. This would allow me to serve the Kingdom and the people of Lucis as I always wished to. But if I would choose the path of the captain and waive all rights of a princess, I could live the life of an ordinary person and….I wouldn’t need my shield. This meant that I could be with him without fear and doubts. Then again, why should I forego something for him if he wasn’t willing to do the same?

“I am willing to fulfill my duties as a princess and those of a captain, with awareness of their grading.”

A relieved smile laid on my father’s lips and Clarus held the same expression, bowing his head. The counselors did the same and I felt that my new status had been accepted. The king came down to me and his hands had been placed on my shoulders. His eyes held the look I’ve always wished to see; pride. I smiled and he leaned down to place a kiss onto my forehead.

“This has to be celebrated, but first, you need some rest. I’ll send a doctor to your chamber, you look like you’ve barely made it.”

I rolled my eyes playfully and patted one of his hands on my shoulder.

“Try it yourself and we can talk.”

He chuckled and blessed me with another warm smile before letting me go. I bowed my head to him and turned around, walking out of the throne room into the corridor. With the last bit of strength I turned around the corner and leaned my back immediately against the wall. Heavy breaths tried to ease the pain. Eyes looked up at Cor, a faint smile on my lips.

“Your offer to help me still valid?”

Without hesitation, his arm found its way around me and I brought mine up onto his shoulder. Cor walked me into my room and I sat up on the edge of my bed. My hand grabbed his arm when he wanted to leave right after. Eyes locked again.

“I’ll send someone who will help you with your clothes”

I chuckled and tugged him down, lifting my leg until his hands closed around my boot.

“Just help me out of the armor. I can do the rest on my own. I don’t want everyone to see a beat up princess.”

Cor knelt down and unbuckled the belts on my boots before untying the laces. I started to take off my armguards and gloves, looking down at him.

“Did I make the right choice?”

He pulled one of my shoes off my leg before continuing with the other, furrowing his brows.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because I’d like to know what you think.”

The other boot was off as well, hands moving up to my thigh to open the clamp of a leather band that was holding up my stocking. His movements were so natural that he forgot that I told him, I could do the rest on my own. Fingers hooked behind the fabric of my sock, gently rolling it down my leg. His hands so soft on my skin, yet the pleasure passed quickly thanks to a few bruises on my shin.

“I think you chose what’s best for you. Isn’t it what you wanted?”

I licked my lips, stopping at the cut and threw both armguards and gloves aside. He just said what I he thought I wanted to hear, not what I asked him for. He rose to his feet, hands reaching for the belt on my shoulder to help me out of the pauldron.

“I guess?”

My head tilted to the side when the heavy plate had been moved from my shoulder, reaching with my hand for the spot where its weight laid on. When I looked up at him I could see that his eyes laid on me while wrapping the leather belt around the metallic pauldron.

“Why do you doubt your decision?”

“If I speak it out loud, I’ll might regret it.”

“Your decision or what you want to say?”

“Both.”

Cor nodded and placed the piece of armor beside me. I couldn’t tell him what I was thinking when I made my choice. It would change nothing and I would probably be disappointed by his reaction anyways, so why bother? Fingertips tapped on the metal and a familiar sigh fell from his lips. His head turned lightly to the side, his eyes looking into mine again and I rose a brow, asking myself what he was struggling with.

“Be proud of what you’ve achieved. I know how much you wanted this and I feel honored that I’ve been the one who has trained you to become a skilled…soldier. You’ve overtaken me and there’s nothing left for me to teach you anymore.”

My hand reached for his coat, pulling on it until he hunkered down beside me, his arm laying on the edge of the bed. I wanted to place my palm onto his cheek, but decided to let my hand rest on his shoulder, unsure if he would feel uncomfortable with it.  
“I never had the intention to overtake you and I still have a lot to learn. You make it sound as if I want you to become useless to me. You’re not. You’re my safe haven and I’d be lost without you.”

Before he could say anything, I leaned down and hugged him lightly, my arms around his neck.

“Now go and don’t say anything. You have a talent to ruin a moment like this”

I sat up and could see a soft smile gracing his lips. Cor stood up and I felt his hand on the side of my neck, his face moving close to me. He swallowed, bright blues staring into my eyes before a delicate kiss blessed the corner of my lips. No word had been spoken by him when he turned around to leave. He left me puzzled. I just couldn’t figure him.

I took a quick shower after the doctor had left. Assumed broken bones had been just contusions and only the right side of my lower lip needed more attention. It had been sewed with four stitches and I knew this would leave a scar. A little reminder of an adventure that changed my life. I had been asked why I didn’t use any kind of potion to heal the wounds when still fresh, but I confessed that I didn’t take any potion with me.

Laying in my bed and having my book in my hand, I heard someone knocking on my door. It had been opened slowly and my father stepped in.

“Can I come in?”

I nodded and put the book aside, watching him coming to the side of my bed. My hand invited him to sit up by patting a spot on the blanket. As soon as he took his place beside me, he took a quick glimpse of my book and chuckled.

“I wouldn’t have imagined to find you reading a romantic novel.”

My hand moved onto the cover of my edition of Heaven and Hell, the book Cor held in his hands when we we spent the night at the small motel.

“I wouldn’t call it a romantic novel. I think it tells the story of Ifrit and the betrayal of him. His dedication, benevolence and strength impressed a goddess, even changing her mind before she fell in love with him, but when he needed her at his side, she turned her back on him along with the others. Romantic novels are about true love, but this is rather sad and I can’t get rid of the feeling that her love for him couldn’t be true, if she didn’t even try to change his mind about war, fighting against him instead.”

I stopped myself from saying more. I returned the smile that my father gave me and chuckled embarrassed.

“I don’t think you came her to talk about the book”

“It is still interesting to hear a different view on the story. Your mother has read it when she was younger and she said that Shiva had been confused, as Ifrit changed in his temper and beliefs. She felt like having lost him.”

“Mom was a romantic.”

“I think it always depends on how you feel to see things in a new perspective. If you ever fall in love, you’ll understand.”

My cheeks flushed and I could feel how my eyes blinked when he mentioned me falling in love. I felt like he caught me hiding a secret, which I did, but I didn’t want him to know nor ask about it. He sat straight and his head tilted to the side, half a grin on his lips.

“Wait. Could it be that you know how it feels to be in love?”

“……I…..well….no…I mean….”

I’ve been too tired to come up with a lie, so I shut up, my eyes laying on my hand that was brushing along my blanket, trying to hide my embarrassment about my behavior.

“Who is it?”

I shook my head and my tongue played with the threads inside my lip, bringing my eyes back to those of my father to tell him that I didn’t want to talk about it. He nodded and placed his hand onto the back of mine, stopping my nervous movements.

“I understand. That’s probably not a topic for a father-daughter-talk.”

My eyebrows knitted and I sat up. I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t able to talk to him about everything, but this was something that I couldn’t discuss with him. I’ve promised not to.

“No, dad, it’s not like this. It’s just…It is not worth to be mentioned, okay?”

He nodded and patted my hand, moving it away to place it into his lap.

“Fine by me. Hope you know you can always talk to me. No matter what. That’s why I am here. When Clarus asked you to make a decision, you hesitated to give him an answer and I wanted to ask you for the reason.”

“I was just surprised that I had to make a choice. That’s all. Nothing to worry about. I don’t plan to leave you or Noctis. Hell would break free if you two would be on your own.”

He laughed softly, but I could see that he wasn’t satisfied with my answer. I think he knew that there was more, but he didn’t question it.

“Good. Sleep well and don’t stay up for too long.”

“Don’t worry. Good night.”

My father left, closing the door silently behind him. I grabbed my book and just looked at its cover, asking myself if I read the book wrong after what my father told me. Yawning, I let it disappear in the drawer of my nightstand and switched the lights off.

I’ve been up early, my body not suffering from lack of sleep. I went outside into the training area and just started to run a few rounds until the others would be awake. The humid air felt good on my skin and it carried the sweet scent of flowers and freshly mowed grass.

“Can I join you?”

I ran past the stairs where Cor stood on and I nodded to him, not stopping.

“You’re an hour late to catch up”

He jogged beside me and I could see a light smirk on his lips in the corner of my eye.

“And you’re eight years late to even come near me”

Grinning, I sped up and he was right behind me. He kept the same short distance to me for the whole time until I caught the sight of a woman, wearing a servants uniform. I stopped and Cor ran pass me, not even slowing down. I shot him a glare, even if he couldn’t see it.

“Your highness, we’re waiting for you to get dressed. Morning meal will be served soon.”

I nodded, lightly out of breath. My hand grabbed the towel that I had placed on the handrail before and wiped the sweat from my face while heading upstairs. Didn’t want to keep my father and brother waiting.

In the dining hall, my brother was very talkative while eating. Telling me what he learned and how good he was with his cutlery, not making such a big mess anymore, but still a bit. My father and I laughed amused and I always had to remind him to eat since he took off only two bites from his meal. The talkative card had been passed to my father as he started to speak.

“The new Crownsguards will come by the end of this week. I thought that you might hand them their new badges as I’ve planned to celebrate your new additional position as well. You would get to know them before you test their skills on the training ground.”

I nodded and shrugged my shoulders, not a big fan of parties as the last one I had been at ended in a disaster. But he was right; I would get to know them and it also reminded me to take a look at their profiles that had been brought to my office. When everyone was finished, my father stood up first and looked at me when I did as well.

“Accompany me to the throne room. We should discuss a few things before entrusting the festivity to the party planners”

I nodded to him and picked up Noctis to hand him to the nanny. A quick sweet kiss on my brothers cheek and I joined my father when he left the room, followed by our shields.

In the throne room, we stood at the middle area of the stairs, talking about his plans where to put the chest with the badges and how to hand them over, what music should be played and which beverages should be served. I’ve been just nodding as my father seemed to have it all planned already.

“Your majesty!”

All of us turned to the entrance of the hall, when one of the guards ran in, dropping to his knee when he reached the stairs. My father walked down a few stairs and Clarus was right beside him while I walked to the other side of the platform we stood on, standing beside Cor. From this spot I also had a better view on the guard, curious what he wanted.

“Speak. What is it?”

The guard kept his head lowered.

“A delegate of Niflheim asks for an appointment.”

Confusion caught us all, but my father was immediately nodding while turning around to walk up the stairs to his throne.

“Let him come.”

The guard rushed off with another bow of his head and I looked after my father, who took a seat on his throne. I walked up as well and sat down beside him. Eyes impatiently looking at the doors as a young man entered, wearing a dark blue uniform and the top of his sleeves held the emblem of Niflheim. His dark hair had been slicked back and his eyes held a strange glossy sheen in them. My eyes fell onto the sheath on his belt. It was empty as our guards disarmed all visitors who weren’t part of our Kingdom. The delegate stopped at the stairs, bowing down lightly before looking up at the king.

“Thank you, King Regis, for receiving me. I’m Videl Six, an envoy of the emperor of Niflheim. I’ve been sent to deliver the message of an offer, coming from the emperor himself. He would like to ask for a meeting with the King of Lucis as well as the first secretary of Accordo, to discuss about peace between the nations”

My brows furrowed and I could see that my father held the same expression on his face. I looked at him and saw that he shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable by the thought of meeting the emperor already.

“How come, the emperor takes peace into consideration? The last time we have talked about peace, I’ve almost got killed by him and his guards. I doubt this meeting will be any different.”

“I’m sorry you have doubts in his intentions, but my duty is to only ask for interest. Not more. Not less.”

The delegate sounded strange and I had a bad feeling about him. I stood up before my father could stay anything, catching the attention of the young stranger.

“Why does the emperor send an envoy just to ask for the King’s interest in a meeting? Isn’t this too much effort for a simple question? He could have send a letter instead of you.”

A smirk tugged on his lips and he suddenly moved a hand inside his coat. Cor was immediately in front of me, his arm around me when he pushed me behind him, a hand on my back to make sure I’d stay there. I turned my head to my father and Clarus was standing in front of him, but his confused look laid on Cor, not on the stranger who alerted our shields. Eyes met mine for a short glimpse before we had been uncovered, looking back at Niflheim’s delegate to see that he pulled out an envelope. He held it up to us and kept the smirk on his lips as if he would be amused about our careful protectors.

“Your guards disarmed me already, but I can understand your shields being so overcautious.”

I held my hand up to my father, to tell him I would go down. Cor led the way and I walked right behind him, only when we reached the bottom of the stairs, he stepped beside me. I grabbed the envelope and was able to look into those strange eyes of the messenger. It was the way they reflected the sun, almost like a crystal glass. Without opening the wrapper, I handed it to Cor and when he took it from me I stepped closer to the man who called himself Videl.

“You’re not of our kind.”

His eyes shot open at my words and the was a tiny glowing red dot inside his pupil which confirmed my presumption. I rose my hand and an electrical shockwave shot out of my palm into his chest, throwing him back until he fell onto the ground a few meters away from us.

“Aeterna!”

I heard my father calling me from behind, his voice admonishing. He hadn’t notice yet. Cor’s hand reached for my arm, but I pulled it out of his grip to walk towards the coughing delegate. He wanted to get up, but I pulled up my dress to step onto his shoulder, holding him down.

“Things like you are against nature and sacrilegious. You’ll not return to your owner, as a warning to not send out any of your ever again.”

The man under my foot twitched and I could see the expression of fear laying on his face. He was so perfect that it scared me actually.

“You’re highness, what are you doing?”

Cor stood beside me and I let my sword appear in my hand. It must have been faith that kept my shield from preventing my next move as my blade had been hit into the head of the envoy. Instead of blood, sparks were surrounding my Katana and when I pulled it out, the cut revealed what was hidden under the skin. Clarus and my father reached me as well and when they looked down, they were surprised by the view of such a perfectly created machine. It could have fooled us all and who knows what it was meant for.

“We should throw it into the furnace. Who knows if they aren’t watching us from afar through it.”

I looked at my father who was just nodding, calling the guards to us so they would carry the dead robot away. My hand had been held out to Cor who understood that I was asking for the envelope, holding it quickly in my hand. Fingers brushed along the thin paper and I risked to open it without a doubt that it could be deadly. A letter was hidden inside and when I opened it, it was actually a response card, just as the cyborg said earlier. He might have been just a deliverer of the letter, but we couldn’t risk it to let the emperor believe that we would be fooled so easily. I handed the card to my father and he took it, taking a quick look just to see the same as me. I fixed my dress and bowed to my father, about to leave.

“I’ll be in my office if you need me. I have to catch up on a few things.”

My father was still in thoughts when he was nodding to me again, walking back into the direction of the stairs while I left the room with Cor.

“How could you be so sure?”

I knew Cor would ask me as soon as we would be on our way through the hallway and it made me grin that he didn’t notice it before me.

“His eyes. They made him almost perfect and I would have been fooled myself if I wouldn’t have had the chance to be so close to him.”

We were heading upstairs when I suddenly remembered that I needed to ask my father something about the upcoming festivity.

“I’ll be right back. Forgot something. Don’t wait for me. I’ll meet you in the office.”

I didn’t give him any time to react when I was already running down the stairs. In the main hall, I slowed my steps down and could hear my fathers voice through half open doors. My hand reached for the handle, wondering why the guards hadn’t been back yet or replaced by others.

“What do you want to do, Regis?”

“Stand there. I’ll show you.”

I know it was inappropriate, but I brought my face close to the doors and peaked through the small opening between them. Clarus stood on one side of the middle area of the stairs, my father and two guards on the other. Close enough so I could see them all. The gap was big enough to be seen if they would look into my direction, but I would come up with an excuse. I wanted to know what they were doing, or what my father wanted to show to his shield.

“I need to know if I am the only one who see it?”

My father asked while waving at one of the guards to step beside him.

“What?”

Clarus crossed his arms on his chest and my father rose a finger to tell him to wait. The other guard had been asked to stand on his position before he stepped beside his friend.

“Let’s imagine, I am the one standing on the right side, and the one on the left is my shield. Guard, how would you protect me if you’d assume that someone wanted to attack me? Just show us how you’d move to shield me”

The guard did as he got told and jumped in front of the fake king, hiding him behind his back.

“Stay like that.”

My father was almost excited when he spoke and he turned to Clarus, the back of his head pointing at my direction.

“What do you say? Is he doing it right?”

Clarus deep sigh reached even my ears and he stepped closer to the frozen guard, examining his posture.

“They’ve been trained by Cor and me and I can say that his position is nearly perfect. Legs lightly bend to move quickly into any direction. One arm up in front of himself, ready to wield his weapon if necessary, the other up beside the protege to be able to direct him into a safe direction. That’s what you wanted to show me?”

My father shook his head and told Clarus to come back to him with a quick move of his hand. When he was, the king walked beside the shielding guard.

“And now tell me, how does that look for you.”

His hands had been placed on the arm that was next to the proteges body and started to move it back. He bend it until the gloved hand was on the fake king’s back. From my point of view it almost looked like a protective embrace. Clarus moved beside my father to take a look at what he did, his hand brushing along his chin.

“This is rather unusual for a shield or guard”

“Can you remember where you’ve seen that exact posture?”

“Tenebrae. A surprise attack by Nifs. This is you and Aulea.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

My father patted the shoulders of both guards to release them from the short play and they bowed their heads before heading into my direction. I turned away from the open gap of the doors, still able to hear Clarus and my father talk.

“Don’t let me die in slow torment. What was this all for?”

I held my ear closer to the opening, waiting for my father to answer the question.

“I’ve seen someone else doing the same.”

“Who?”

“My daughter’s shield; Cor Leonis”

“You mean….”

My eyes widened and my heart started to race. Now I remembered the look in my father’s eyes when Cor was shielding me from the envoy. The whole moment flashed up before my eye and I wanted to find out what he was supposed to do or what he was thinking, but the guards were already too close to the doors. I moved from the door quickly, heading back towards the hallway that would lead to my office.

Hands clenched fists and I walked up the stairs blindly, lost in thoughts. I’ve been nervous and concerned. I didn’t know what I should do. Should I tell Cor about what I found out? Would my father bring it up to him or me? How come such a small gesture could cause so much fuss?


End file.
